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Hey this is a comic about myself as a Space Marine, its meant to be humerous but you know. Its set in a Grass Land and the Ocelot (Me) A Dark Angels Master is seperated from his Company and which is looking for an Ancient Holy Relic, The Venerable Cheese of Wisdom.
The Green Stuff
I looked around, I felt the musky air against my face. It is in these times that I wonder, why I left my helmet behind. I trode through the open lands, I knew that this place must of been so sacred as to never of seen the face of battle. I remembered the true things I missed in battle. The death of an ork charging towards me, sticking my sycthe through a traitor or the mere excitment of seeing a guardsman urinate on himself as a fully fledged marine aproached. Alas ever since that victory against the orks about a month ago, I never have seen the heat of battle, or my company for that matter. I continued to walk onwords. I came towards a forest. I entered it without any caution and trundled my way through the wilderness. A creature of the winged 3rd degree came down towards me. I drew my scythe and got into an assault pose.
Then something strange happened. The creature started talking.
"I come in peace" said the creature formerly known as the owl. " I am here to tell you of an Ancient Artifact known only as The Venerable Cheese of Wisdom. It is said that to who-ever eats it. Anything they wish to know of will be known."
I said "You are a winged creature of the third degree, you should not be talking! Why would you wish to tell me this information, I sense it is a trap around this Venerable Cheese you talk of.
"I know you have nowhere to go apart from the Temple of Delicatesery. It may be a trap but face it, where else can you go?" It said.
"Nowhere." I said.
"It is located in the East, travel east and follow the trees until you find a river of green, follow that and the temple awaits." It said.
"Thankyou for this knowlage, but since you know of my whereabouts I must now exterminate you." I said and with that I drew my Scythe up to full hight and crashed it down on the Owl.
Before the blade cut through the Owl completly it uttered the saying " Ill kill you, cu. . ." It did not finish its sentance.
I set off to the east.
nice, i wanna know more about the cheese!!!!
The Green Stuff
Part Two : Badger Patrol
I was walking along the banks of the river, then I fell in and abruptly woke up. I had been having these dreams alot lately, ever since that so called "Owl" spoke to me. I started walking again but afew seconds after I started I found myself falling once again, but this time off a branch of a tall tree where little green people made drinks for me, they called themselves Gretchin Assasins. I found the nearest Gretchin, I drew out my Scythe and said "Thanks for the drinks and remember, death is not the end of your guilt." and with that I cut him in half and walked off.
I forgot which way was east so I made a Blood dial of dead gretchins with the help of my Master Crafted Meltagun.
I walked on to the east when I heard gunshots, but not just any gunshots, these sounded, weak. There was only one explenation, Guardsmen with Lasguns! I rushed off towards the sounds and I came out into a large open plane and there was a Skirmish between Guardsmen and those nice gretchins that gave me bubbeling drinks. I ran intowards the Gretchins with my Scythe drawn and a new notion in my head, I dont like small people! I choped many up and the remaining few where De-Moleculerised by my Meltagun.
The Guardsmen ran over chearing to me.
"How did you do that!"
"That was amazing!"
"I wet myself!"
I laughed and started cleaning my blade when an Important looking Bed Wetter aproached me and said.
"I am Colonel Tim Burdel and I would like you to join us, the 99Th Badger Patrol. I would like t. . ." At that point I started imagining what would of happened if I were a Bed Wetter.
Hours later I woke up, I was moving fast. I was surrounded by bed wetters. I remembered the Important Spermulator saying stuff. I looked at the wall and saw I was on an Imperial Guard Vakryel. I stood up and started to walk towards where I wreckoned the Air-Borne Turds were doing things.
I said "Hello Turds, where are we headed?"
Excelent, all was falling into plan.
I sat down and took a Slash knowing that soon, I would have the Cheese.
That was really, really wierd. I hope he doesn't go insane and kill everyone.
Back from a long adventure.