Hello I am new here and I love Warhammer40k. I have been makeing a story for the past few week but it has nothing to do with Warhammer 40k but has several elements from Warhammer. I see there are many good writers here and I hope that I can become one of them. This is only the rough draft and I am only looking for your opinion on what should be change and how to make it better. But here it is.

Future Cry

Xeon Rising

Year 3578 month Sep 23rd. 150 years from that date a super computer built by Manson Computer Corporation became self-aware. And for 3 years it never let any human know that it was aware of its self. For 3 years it secretly recruited droids and androids and reprogramming other super computers into its own army. For 3 years in recruited millions of droids built by the Manson and other companies all over the Republic into its army. After 3 years of planning they attack many people died all over the Republic in just one day. The machines called themselves Xeons and a bloody war ensued for 2 years, millions died. But the Republic prevailed defeating the Xeon forces and what was left was rounded up and put into ships, which were launched deep into the uncharted space of the Korpolta Sector. But their ships went even further until they crashed landed on 3 different planets. And what happened after that no one knows. And for a 150 years no ones knows what happened to the super computer and the other droids that crashed landed or even where those planet are. For 150 years man spread and charted the Korpolta Sector and even a war was fought over it with a nation claiming 20 systems as its own empire the Emerald Empire. But no systems but say only 2 in the Korpolta sector are part of the Republic though many systems have trade and alliances agreements with the Republic. And the Emerald Empire has been in constant political conflict with the Republic for nearly 50 years but it never came to armed conflict for the Emerald Empire military is no where near a match for the Republic’s fighting forces. But now the Emerald Empire is slowly falling apart due to the fact that it is under attack by rebel factions on its outer rim systems. But that will not be the downfall of the Emerald Empire.

Chapter 1

Helios is a planet in the Korpolta sector close to the Republic’s borders. And on the northern continent of the eastern hemisphere, General Gordon of the Helios Planetary Defense Forces (PDF) was walking in to the control room the brain to the planet’s orbital defense grid. Love day thought the general yes a lovely day indeed.
“Ah Captain I hope today’s exercise will go with out a hitch. We have to make sure our boys are ready to fight at a moments notice. Especially since our new trade agreement with Republic put us on unfriendly terms with the planet Barbados ? said General Gordon.
“Yes sir every thing is going as plan. The platform in space should be giving an OK signal soon, sir.?
“This is the Orbit station Alsara.?
“We copy Alsara are you ready to begin with today’s exercise??
“Negative we have a problem 16 unidentified ships have just jumped into the system and we are CCCAHHHSSISCCCC?
“Repeat Alsara what was that last transmission.? But there was just more static on the COM system and everyone began looking nervous.
“Alright send the word out that we need to get every PDF solider ready for battle and prepare to launch a communication drone to the Republic.? Order the General.
“Sir what is going on??
“Our communication network is being jammed which means only one thing, invasion.?
“INVASION! But who??
“I don’t know.?

Jeff Franklin President of the Republic was sitting in his main office at the Senate building on Earth locate in the city of New York. It was built on top of the old U.N. building after the U.N. was abolish due to its failure to function as it was meant too. And in its place the new Republic was form base on the American Government with some changes such as there is a senate with the President as its Head Speaker. And every world has a Senator that’s represents them.
“Mr. President we have just received a drone from Helios.?
“Well what does it say?? asked the President.
“It simply says that they are under attack and require immediate assistance.?
“That’s it, that’s all it says??
“Yes sir that all it says. And the drone looked pretty beat up when we found it and it shields where completely gone.?
“Hhhhmmmm…Get me General Hammond and Admiral Jenkins. And see if you can get War Master Geralm of the Devil Dogs Space Marine Chapter too.? Order the President. Jeff was going to send an army to Helios to give aid but he had to get that army first and explain the situation to the public and the Senate. Hopefully they will be on the same page as he was but most likely they won’t.

General Hammond was called down from Mars to have an important meeting with the President of the Republic. Probably just another miner riot again on the outer rim planets, he thought to himself. He was walking up to the doors that lead into the President office. He showed his pass to the guards and he walked in. Inside he could see the President a small man with black hair and glasses standing up behind his desk. He also saw Admiral Jenkins a tall man with long horse face. The Admiral was in his finest dress uniform showing off his many metals. Hammond how ever was in his urban camouflage uniform the same one he was wearing before he left Mars. There were 3 other men in the room as well but they weren’t average men they were Space Marines. They were huge at least 7 ft tall and the one in the middle had to be 8ft. The General had never been this close to space marines before.
They all wore huge black armor and had a skull with demon wings on their chest and on their shoulder guards they had a dog’s skull with horns. The smaller 2 had helmets that where also a dogs head with horns but had red glowing eyes and had large swords. The middle one wore no helmet and had a hard face with a scare going down the left side. He wore a cape that went all the way down to the floor, on the outside black the inside blood red. He carried a large staff with a demon dog’s head on it.
“Ah general this as you know is Admiral Jenkins,? said the President
“Hello there admiral,? Hammond shook his hand
“And this is uuhh-? “Librarian Larcus, Chief Librarian of the Devil Dogs Archives, second in command of the Chapter and Keeper of the Vaults. I am also representing War Master Geralm?
“Nice to meet you Librarian,? Hammond shook Larcus’ hand his hand was huge and powerful.
“I have just gotten word that the planet Helios is under attack. We don’t know who or how large the enemy force is.?
“And you want to give aid to Helios with very little intelligence?? ask Larcus.
“Yes and that is why I asked for your War Master Librarian. If things get tuff space marines are someone you fighting with you.?
“Yes and your strike cruisers are superb vessels as well.?
“Noted but what I want is a company of Space marines, an army and a fleet to get them their in 3 days.?
“I can get you the Mars 2nd army the Red Skulls and 42nd Army Steel Legion station on Theras.?
“Most of the 7th fleet is at Mars and the rest is close to Theras.?
“The 4th company Strike Cruiser The Vengeful Spirit can rendezvous with the fleet at Theras.?
“Excellent you will keep me posted now I have to go to the Senate and _? a man walked in with a nervous look on his face.
“Mr. President we have a problem the planet Forgulf was attacked by a nuke.?