Bfg Story : Patrol - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    Patrol. The most monotonous duty known to a ship captain, thought Captain Leonard; a duty reserved for the failures of the Imperial Navy, a duty only above that of being in charge of a lowly ore freighter, destined to chug along the space lanes for decades, delivering its largely insignificant cargo, before returning to load up again.

    However, in his heart of hearts, he knew it was not true. His command bespoke Leonard's success. Captain of the Indomitable Fury, one of the newer Lunar-class cruisers from the shipyards in orbit around Holy Terra, his six year tour of duty with the Imperial Navy had never been dull, often pairing off with another one of its sister ships in order to hunt ahead of the main fleet of Battlefleet Ryenn for its eventual quarry. Even now just before their departure, some of the crew were in vac-suits, putting the finishing touches to the new kill markings, having added a duo of Eldar Aconite vessels to its tally of two Chaos cruisers, one Void Stalker, numerous pirate vessels and a renegade Mars class ship.

    "Such a pity they should go to waste," mused Leonard, as the number of the much sought after ships dwindled almost daily. Glancing further down his orders as the Fury slipped dock, he saw that the patrol would be comprised of the Fury, the Dominator class vessel Rynn's Sword, and an octet of the smaller, more nimble Cobra class destroyers, the class Leonard himself had cut his teeth on. The sheer bulk of the Fury dwarfed the Sword class entering dock many times over as the manoeuvring thrusters were engaged, and the Fury began to imperceptibly move astern, its duty navigator/pilot smoothly accelerating the huge vessel out of its berth, the numerous connections to the base popping off of the exterior hull and snaking their way through the vacuum to the walls of the berth exerted a certain surrealism to the departure.
    As the prow of the ship swung about, Leonard strode from his cabin immediately beneath the bridge, and climbed the short spiral staircase to the rear of one of the highest decks on the ship, and idly half collapsed into the enveloping captains chair.

    The XO came to Leonard's side from his position monitoring the communications array, leaning forward to speak directly into his captain's ear. " Station Gorel reports we are clear to go to warp, sir."
    "Very good. Navigator! Set course for the Julean system, we shall meet our companions for our patrol in orbit around the third moon out from the fifth planet."

    "Yes, captain." The navigator opened his warp eye and shunted the warp drive level, immediately plunging the Fury and its ten thousand strong crew into the limitless dimensionless depths of the immaterium.

    " Estimated time to arrival, navigator?" asked the XO. "Five hours, Commander." Replied the navigator, his face taught with concentration as he twisted ,turned and pulled the various controls guiding the Fury through the never-ending sea of souls.

    *******

    "You have to realise, of course, that not all of our territory has always been under the rule of the Imperium, Johan," said Tyr, his voice echoing slightly in the cramped rangefinder/director room above the bridge, the only illumination provided by the glowing dials and displays in the consoles around them. The R/D room was at the tallest point on the ship simply for its views of the surrounding space at sublight, the ship's ace gunlayers sorting the priority, range of targets and then passing on the bearing of the targets to the Transmitting Station, the ship-wide communication hub room filled with other crew members who passed on the data to the gunners themselves, who loaded and set their guns to the bearings provided by the R/D, before automatically sending a signal to the R/D that made one of the numerous weapon icons light up, signifying it was armed and ready to fire, with the Master Gunlayer in charge of the collective trigger, but in the event of close range firing, then the gunners at the weapons chose their own targets, the R/D room merely reporting incoming targets to both the bridge and the gun crews.

    All of this was overseen by the Master of Ordnance, sitting at one side on the bridge, listening in to the standard checks of the crews as the watches reported for duty and signed off, handing over to the next one. As the MoO he was bound to report to the captain, and to extend the captain's orders to the gunners.
    Tyr turned as much as his seat would allow him to face Johan, the die-hard evangelist of the rangefinder crew. What had turned from a mere statement that the galaxy had been ruled for all eternity by the Emperor into a more heated but gently persuasive argument was now starting to tire the other gunlayers as the argument wore on. Tyr and Johan were gunlayers for the weapon batteries of the ship, Tyr port and Johan starboard respectively, with Johan in charge of ranging. Behind them both were Forrest and Dowson, gunlayers for the lance battery, Forrest port and Dowson starboard. Both were old hands, Dowson being the master gunlayer, and merely wistfully shook their heads at Johan's naivety.

    "The Emperor in His divine glory would strike you down for your blasphemy!" Johan half spat.

    "Would he indeed? Well, if he did, who's going to stop him? And you're merely sidestepping the issue," stated Tyr , "It simply isn't possible. Ok, imagine this, a hypothetical scenario: On a beach, waves lap up and down on the shoreline, some making further progress than others, before losing steam and receding again. Imagine that the waves are civilisations in our galaxy, and that the distance up the shore is how far they get, progress or relative power of their civilisation, if you like. Each civilisation falls, eventually, but another comes in to take its place."

    "You are so full of shit, Tyr," chuckled Dowson.

    Tyr turned the other way to try and face Dowson, "Hell, it got Johan to think about it, didn't I? And since we are all loyal to His majesty, I doubt we'll get the commissar up here. Besides, there's barely room."

    " Good point, well made."

    "No! The Commissar says that.."

    "The Commissar is a devoted fanatic, meant to keep the ships crew loyal to the Imperium. If that means he speaks religious shite too, well, that's his lookout. But I for one am sceptic. Oh yes," spoke Tyr at Johan's look of distaste, " I agree that The Emperor, may He bless us all, is a god, but he has not ruled over the galaxy for all eternity. However, with His divine leadership, we beat all the other races and their gods to take prime position, and hence our race has secured the galaxy for the duration of our power. And since He smote the other gods, he is truly supreme in His reign of the galaxy."

    Dowson and Forrest rolled their eyes, before letting their eyes wander over their dials again.
    "Interesting comments, gentlemen," spoke the voice of the head of the director, 'Professor' Cole, so called because of his in depth knowledge on virtually any subject one cared to throw at him, "But you are forgetting that not only my fellows here in the Director can hear you, but most certainly the Master of Ordnance on the bridge, isn't that right, sir?"

    " Indeed, tis, Chief," the Master of Ordnance, Lieutenant Seeley, said, his deep voice carrying easily over the audio channel, "and you are lucky that I am not the Commissar listening in. To my knowledge he is doing spot checks on mess decks five through eight this month for any heretics or contraband. No doubt, if anyone asks you where you heard that information, you will reply ' One of the Engineering officers told me, Commissar'. Do I make myself clear?"

    "Perfectly, sir," replied Forrest, his dry scots accent being broadcast around the ship, " What divine duty are we performing for His majesty's Imperium this time around, sir?"

    " We are on patrol with the Rynn's Sword, and eight cobras. Pedestrian stuff. And for once, I suppose you can tell the mess that it came from my mouth, though no doubt Jimmy would be a more reputable source for this information." A slight chuckle came after these words, over the background hubbub of the bridge.

    "Will do, sir. Rangefinder out. Sneaky bugger!"

    " I heard that, Forrest. But you're quite right, of course," admonished the Master of Ordnance, before finally ceasing to listen in on their conversation.

    "Glad to know at least he can admit it," breathed Forrest.

    "Heh, he's one of the better senior officers, no doubt about that!" laughed Tyr. Johan looked on with disdain. Just then a fierce bell rang in the small room. The ship was about to re-enter normal space. As one, the ten thousand strong crew immediately held onto whatever was at hand, as the ship lurched back into its natural habitat, upsetting scuttles and hurling those whose grip was not as iron to the floor. The conventional plasma drive kicked in immediately, and the Fist smoothly accelerated toward the fifth moon of Julea III. The warp-shutters around the steelglass windows of the R/Director withdrew immediately, whilst Johan started scanning the vicinity for targets. The others too, in the cramped space were staring into their own targeting scanners, the enhanced images of the vicinity playing over their retinas.
    Down in the scanner room, another set of crewmen relayed information to the bridge.

    " Bridge from Scanner, one cruiser and eight escorts sighted in orbit around fifth moon of Julea III."

    " Director from Bridge, confirm and identify," spoke the Captain.

    All four of the men in the Director scanned their respective targets. It was a mere matter of seconds before they replied. The bridge crew heard their reports through the speakers concealed in the ceiling, but the MoO heard mainly through the headphones he wore, with one side pushed back behind his right ear.

    " Confirmed, Dominator class, Rynns Sword."
    "Confirmed, Cobra class, Acheron and Malice."
    "Confirmed, Cobra class, Oracle, Independence, Avenger."
    "Confirmed, Cobra class, Steliendes, Wolfbane, Gallifrey."

    "Captain, all confirmed. Rynns Sword with eight escorts, sir. Four cobras are detaching to escort us, sir," finished Dowson.

    "Very good, CPO," replied Leonard, leaning forward and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. The Jimmy, (XO) hovered at his elbow.

    "Something amiss, sir?" asked Carr (Jimmy). The captain turned his seat about to face Carr. The XO stood with hiss hands behind his back, and with a curious look on his face.

    " Not at all, Carr. Just as I recall, the Rynns Sword was built in the shipyards around Xenonia," a slightly amused look chased the deep thought look off of Leonards face, giving rise to a wistful smile, "And Xenonia is a planet famed for its women warriors."

    The first lieutenant rolled his eyes. " A woman commanding a Dominator cruiser? What next!?"

    The captain turned back to the steelglas windows, his pondering look seeming to come back as a wave over his face. "What next indeed, Carr. Communications, hail the Rynns Sword."

    Leonard's and Carr's attention was drawn to the large holo-viewer at the front of the bridge. An image flickered and then filled the whole of the screen, depicting a stern faced young woman with cold blue eyes that looked as if they could literally kill with a glare. Leonard's eyes flickered down to the mission brief in his left hand.

    "Greetings, Captain Price. How are things going back on Xenonia?" Leonard cheerfully inquired. His joviality, it seemed, was not returned.

    "Well enough, Captain Leonard," Price had a voice that sent a chill up the men's spines, and a personality that seemed to match, for she spoke with great irritation and impatience; " Shall we proceed upon our patrol?" Apparently to the point as well.

    "Very well. Helm, twenty degrees to port, half ahead. Sword, come abreast of us, Sword squadron Vindicators to Sword's flanks, Squadron Daedalus to ours. Cease transmission."

    Leonard turned his chair to face Carr, catching him as his stern façade collapsed into a Cheshire cat-like grin. Leonard's raised eyebrows sought an explanation from his executive officer. Carr tried to keep a straight face, remarking " Seems to be a fun loving girl?" before turning about and walking off the bridge with a hand over his mouth to stop himself from bursting out loud with laughter. Leonard merely turned his chair back to the holo-viewer, which now displayed the view ahead of the ship, wondering if he should run the risk of inviting Price to the Fury for dinner or telling her to expect him. She was probably the sort that would have little or no hesitation at booting him out the airlock at his reference to chauvinist ideologies, but it might be worth it to see if there was any change in her expression. A wry smile graced his face as he pictured her stone-like face suddenly twisting into a face of furious anger, but discarded the image lest he split his side laughing much like the XO.

    ******

    Four weeks passed without much event, aside from the odd course correction to avoid rogue meteorites. Life on the Fury was as usual as ever. A few underhand deaths in the lower decks, but nothing too serious to be a major security problem, however the ships Commissar had taken a personal interest. The Commissar, Jasc, had been running around the engineering section looking for shifty looking ratings. Not an easy task, since most of the lower deck ratings fit this description. Jasc had finally narrowed it down to a leading engineer, one Keerans, to be exact. Jasc was looking forward to smattering the uncouth engineers skull with a shell from the ornate bolt pistol by his side. He strode along the gangway high above the outer hull of the ship, a sheer drop of over five hundred meters to the base of the engine room. Jasc was just coming to the area where Keerans worked when the ship lurched some three feet vertically, and immediately after horns started blaring. Jasc was jolted up and over the handrail of the causeway, his bolt pistol falling out of the holster at his hip.

    Jasc's slim, pale fingers caught hold of the grate-like causeway, arresting his descent, his body swinging gently like a pendulum beneath it. Behind him, his bolt pistol finally fell to the floor of the ship, the sharp crack of its landing echoing up to his ears from half a kilometre below him.
    Jasc became aware of a new sound, that of footsteps on the causeway coming toward him. He looked up and saw the man he was after. Keerans.

    "My, my, Commissar. You don't hang about with investigations do you? Very quick. But my henchmen informed me that you were after myself. Well, to save you the trouble, yes, I did kill them, the snivelling bastards."
    "You're a monster." Replied Jasc. Keerans grinned and put his foot on the knuckles of the Commissar, of the hand that held the only glimmer of life over the great chasm.

    "Am I indeed? Well, you can ask the Emperor for me. Good bye, Commissar. Give my regards to your predecessor. Like you, he was too curious for his own good. In fact, you might catch a fleeting glimpse of him at the bottom." Keeran's grin widened to a leer, before stamping on the Commissars knuckles and wrenching his foot sideways.

    The commissar gritted his teeth, refusing to let go, but a driving blow from Keeran's heel ground his fingers into the metal. His crushed fingers slipped off of the gangway, his coat fluttering in the breeze as he accelerated to his untimely demise half a kilometre below him.


    -----------------------End Part One, Begin Part Two-----------------------

    "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?!" yelled Leonard as he came onto the bridge, disturbed from his slumber by the ship shuddering under the impact. Already could be heard the stamping of feet echoing in the corridors many decks below as sleeping crewmen rushed to man the guns. The bridge immediately became a flurry of activity as senior officers came to the bridge roused, as had been the men from resting off duty.

    "Unknown captain, check, scanners!" replied the first lieutenant, Carr, before crossing to his station at the side of the bridge, getting up from the captains chair where he had spent this watch. Leonard promptly slumped into the seat, and flicked on the data-slates next to the Captain's chair.

    Up in the director, Dowson and Forrest were already feverishly focussing and sweeping targeting scanners as the hatchway to the cramped space was flung open as Tyr and Johan raced up the ladder, before cannoning into their seats, and putting their headsets on with the customary one earphone on the side of the head behind of the ear. Eyes were pressed rapidly into the scopes as they too sought to locate the cause of the damage.

    Dowson spotted the cause first, and rapidly sent the coordinates to the others in the rangefinder, via their scopes. Clean swept lines and large solar sails greeted their eyes.

    "Captain sir! Three Eldar cruisers off the starboard beam! One shadow and two eclipses. Starboard battery and lances are locked into their targets now sir," Dowson hurriedly spoke down the comm., before fine-tuning the targeting of the starboard lance battery.

    Forrest grinned. "Time to give these wee xenos bastards a good kickin!"

    "May the Emperor guide us..." muttered Johan as he relayed the target information to the gunners of the starboard weapon battery.

    Below the rangefinder, the bridge now resembled a hive of activity, with faces illuminated by green coloured computer panels. Various voices from parts of the ship were now blaring from speakers located around the bridge. Leonard sat in the captain's chair, staring at the holoviewer by the side of his seat, displaying the situation in 3d. Carr walked to Leonard's, rear, carefully watching the captain's display over his shoulder.

    "We lost contact with both destroyer squadrons some thirty minutes previously sir, originally attributed to technical difficulties. Long-range surveyor scans show all eight destroyed, with three adrift, systems crippled but hulls salvageable. Scans also show that apparently the eldar cruiser's squadrons of aconites were destroyed, five by torpedo and gun salvos, the other three by the ramming of the enemy by the Acheron, Malice and Oracle," Carr paused for breath before continuing, "The Eldar cruisers have since moved into an inverted V formation, the two eclipses forming the feet, and hence are the closest to us. Captain Price on the Rynn's Sword has signalled to tell us she intends to attack the right-hand eclipse, whilst we apparently are to target the eclipse on the left flank, before both turning our fire on the Shadow. The jolt we felt earlier was a torpedo exploding externally. Minor damage reported in section five, deck fourteen."

    "Interesting. Helm, ahead one half, 45 degrees to starboard, bring our prow to meet the enemy fire. Ordnance, how are we for tin fish?" said Leonard, raising his voice over the hubbub to make himself heard to the Master of Ordnance. Lt. Seeley glanced at his panels, quickly summing up the ready torpedoes. Twelve green lights greeted his eyes, six in the launch tubes, and six ready for immediate reloading.

    "Fish are ready to swim, captain. Six more ready to be let out of the net," spoke Seeley, his eyes still raking over his gun ready lamps, mirrored above in the director. "All guns loaded with SAP and full charge, lance batteries at full charge. Director reports they can lay guns and fire within thirty seconds of guns bearing on target."

    "Very good. Tell the Torpedo Instructor that the target is the Eclipse's launch bays, if he can hit them."
    "Sir, we are now facing the Eldar prow- on," said the helmsman, waiting expectantly for orders, with an excited gleam in his eye. Probably his first active combat experience, thought Leonard.

    "Helm, midships."

    "Torpedoes bearing. Target changed."

    "Release the fish." As Leonard gave the order, the far of rumble of the torpedoes could be heard as they were propelled into space, before their own engines kicked in and accelerated away to the Eclipse cruiser ahead of them. For a second, none seemed to have found their mark. Then there were four sunbursts on the underside of the Eclipse, which had been trying to outflank the Fury by turning to their starboard. Two of the torpedoes went wide, one impacting and buckling the delicate holo-shields that surrounded the vessel, and the other smashing itself apart on the forward hull.

    "Torpedo room reports torpedoes hit and destroyed the launch bays. Torpedo tubes one through five are being reloaded, gunners report the rear hatch of tube six has ceased."

    "Send tech adepts to torpedo bay six. How long until we can turn and loose off a broadside?"

    "Five minutes, sir. Eclipse is powering its pulsar lance."

    "Helm, increase speed to three quarters. Turn our head to the Eclipse."

    "Pulsar lance firing."

    "Hit on the torpedo director. Torpedoes going into local firing. Torpedo rooms request, however they are relayed information from the surveyor room to aid targeting."

    "Granted, helm, hard-aport," replied Leonard, casting his eye to starboard. The eclipse that the Rynn's Sword was engaging sported a large gouge running from the starboard flank to its starboard solar sail root, no doubt by the Nova cannon that the Sword carried, attempting to aim for the eldar bridge but missed due to a combined effect of holo-shields and its in-built inaccuracy.

    Even now, it was turning to port to bring its armament to bear on the both the eclipse nearest the Sword and the eclipse ahead of the Fury. Leonard watched as its weapon batteries opened fire with an obscene amount of firepower at close range. The eclipse crumpled under the onslaught, and entire decks were lain open to the cold hard vacuum of space. Several flights of Eagle bombers swarmed out of the launch bays before they too were torn to shreds by the ammassed firepower of the Sword. Seeing one of its escorting light cruisers under heavy attack, the Shadow immediately unleashed a barrage of battery fire at the Rynn's Sword.

    " Starboard weapons are on."

    "Batteries W through Z are targeted, Lances Y and Z also have target acquisition. Torpedo room reports that torpedo tube six has been re-consecrated with the full blessings of the machine god, and has a new fish ready to swim."

    "Fire at will."

    Now it was the Indomitable Fury's turn to deal damage to the Eldar heathens. As one, the weapon battery fired at the eclipse, barely one kilometre away. The forward lance turret unleashed its furious energy directly at the ship, but the rearward one missed, its shot firing harmlessly into space.
    Leonard swivelled his chair to face Carr.

    "Who is in charge of the lance turret that missed?" asked Leonard.

    Carr quickly consulted a dataslate in his left hand.

    "A Lt. Gytan, sir."

    "Have him executed."

    "Sir?"

    " Are you disobeying me, first lieutenant?"

    "Reason for the log, sir," replied Carr, pointedly.

    "For failing to hit a target the size of a small city at a range a guardsman with a las-rifle could hit a person."

    "Gross incompetence, then, sir?" noted Carr with a wry smile.

    "Indeed, Mister Carr," likewise noted Leonard, marking the execution on his data slate, " Status of vessels in the vicinity?"

    "Rynns Sword at dead stop or slow ahead and is under attack by enemy Eagle bombers, whilst trading shots with the shadow class. The eclipse is currently drifting nearby, apparently also still with sporadic readings in its power grid. Majority of its decks have a hull breach of some form or another," replied the surveyor officer.

    "And our eclipse?" asked Leonard with some impatience.

    " Launch bays crippled, pulse lance still recharging, can fire in another minute at our engines if we don't cripple it."

    "Weapons batteries are reloaded, and retargeted to the pulse lance. Lance batteries are recharged and are targeting the eclipses solar sails. All weapons are firing."

    As the Fury fired, the shadow did also. Its salvo tore through space, creating a large wake in the thin soup of sub atomic particles in the cold vacuum. It eventually impacted wide of its target, the nearest sporadically firing weapon batteries on the Rynn's Sword, and instead penetrated deep through the armoured hull to the enginarium. Hundreds of crewmembers and servitors were immediately sucked out of the hull into the hard vacuum beyond, their silent screams telling their mortal peril as blood vessels ruptured and killed them. Eagle bomber flights, who had by now been pounding the Sword with penetrating missiles, saw their chance to finish off the mighty behemoth, and fired their remaining missiles into the gaping hole left by the shadow's batteries, as they quickly muttered words of solace to themselves and the infinity circuit controlled craft they piloted. As soon as the first missile hit, it had done its intended deed, and the other Eagles either fired their missiles into other parts of the ship or impacted their eagles into the structure of the Rynn's Sword as its warp drive exploded, engulfing both it and the eclipse cruiser nearby in a huge plasma explosion. Large pieces of wreckage hurled through space, but the eclipse, which bore the brunt of the impact, protected the Fury from the deadly missiles. Its structure overwhelmed by the bulk of the wreckage, it began to break apart, the delicate wraithbone unable to stand the sheer brute force being exerted on it by both the flying debris and weapons fire from the Indomitable Fury.

    The ship had a series of internal explosions, causing the outer layers of wraithbone to splinter off of the hull, sending huge shards scything through space. After that, it too drifted without power, its solar sails idly flapping in the solar wind.

    "Status of the shadow?" asked Leonard.

    "Its solar sails are badly holed, as is its prow. Looks to be barely battle-worthy, sir."

    "I see. Torpedo tubes, stand by."

    The Fury turned its prow head on to the Shadow loosing off another salvo of the powerful missiles. In turn, the shadow also launched its torpedoes, following up with a salvo of weapon battery fire that raked the back of the Fury before the Eldar torpedoes struck the densely armoured prow. The alien projectiles smashed the upper surface on the back, embedding themselves fully five meters into one of the aerial masts before detonating. The torpedoes drilled themselves through the prow into the torpedo room cavity beyond, the explosion killing all present, and sucking into space those not killed immediately. The Fury's torpedoes lanced through space, seeking out their target like a snake. The torpedoes passed easily through the well-disrupted holo shields and smashed into the hull, shattering the forward hull in their passage as they made their way deep into the innards of the craft before wreaking horrendous damage.

    "Torpedo room totalled, all torpedomen lost, and a bloody great hole in the side."

    "Status of the shadow and the drifting eclipse? Did our torps have any effect?" enquired Leonard.

    " Multiple fluctuations in power and speed. Seems to be attempting to disengage. Drifting eclipse has no power, but multiple oxygen pockets. Surveyors read a total of two hundred and forty-four life signs aboard the eclipse."

    "Comms, open a channel to the Eldar Shadow."

    "Comms open."

    "Eldar vessel. This is Captain Leonard of the Indomitable Fury. You are trespassing in territory of the Immortal Emperor's Imperium. You now have two options. Either you can cut and run from the system. We will then, of course, board the drifting eclipse in search of survivors so they may be 'debriefed' and to seek to capture the ship and return it to our home base of Dimmamar. Your other option is to power down all weapons systems, and whilst we observe in full battle readiness, board and retrieve survivors. Once you are clear we will then, after using parts of the hull to repair our own damage of our conflict, destroy the ship by gunfire. You have twenty seconds to reply or leave the system," Leonard finished, and the bridge was silent, waiting for their response to Leonard's unusually generous offer.

    A background hubbub of a control room could be heard in the background as the main speaker aboard the eldar vessel inhaled to form the words of their response.

    A delicate feminine voice lilted from the speakers, speaking slightly stunted Gothic as the words were unusual to her. " I am Therys Liead, Captain of the Vaul Incarnate. We are powering down our weapons and intend to pick up our survivors. After then we shall leave the system immediately. We understand this is somewhat of a rare occurrence among officers of your Imperium.
    "
    "The offer is not without its benefits to the Imperium," replied Leonard, his tone of voice giving away nothing.

    "Very well. Thank you, human-called Leonard. We shall meet again."

    "If we do, you will not survive the encounter," spoke Leonard ,grimly, "You caught me on a day when I'm not in the mood for unnecessary bloodshed."

    A soft chuckling echoed from the speaker. "Human-called Leonard, in the coming weeks, you shall be thankful for Eldar trespassing on Imperium territory."

    ----------------------------END----------------------------

    Thoughts, comments and suggestions for improvement appreciated.

    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

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  3. #2
    Senior Member PrOtOcoN's Avatar
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    Dude....

    That was magnificent!
    Are you a professional writer?

    The story was really good. It showed you how the Fleet works and it also had the twist with the traitor, i'd like to see more of him in the next one (And there has to be a next one, dont leave us hanging&#33. The desciptions were wonderfully detailed and gave you a clear picture of what was happening in your head. The part where he tells him to execute the gunner also gave you a character view on the captain and really fit in with Navy tradition.

    Great story, detailed and interesting characters. And i want to see more of this.

    Keep it up!

    Your fluffraping hurts my eyes. - TehDarkPredator

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    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    I have plenty more where that came from, most are on Imperial Literature (See badly made sig image), however comments there are scarce, since a while ago we were bought out by the great arse that is Thewarp.net, and as a result, a crippling loss was felt as a good few good authors left the site due to the influx of new members with little writing drive or experience.

    I'll post a few of my others here if the response is good. And I'm not a professional writer, just a fifteen-year old angsty geek. Usual stuff.
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

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    Little writing drive or experience... Must be me. <_<

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    :o Wow...I don&#39;t know what else to say...except this: WRITE MORE&#33; No but really...I need to know more&#33; If you write or have written more pertaining to this, I need to read it&#33; Bravo&#33;

    MORE MORE MORE

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    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    There is a new story using the characters in this one. It involves a lost Adeptus Mechanicus ship; and I&#39;ll say no more about it for the time being.

    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

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    I likes it&#33; One author to another, that&#39;s excellent stuff. I mainly do character and army backgrounds, but I can do stories, so if you ever want to collaborate on a huge story, I&#39;m here&#33; I reserve my A-list stuff for situations like this. Seriously, just drop me a line down at the fluff forum, and I&#39;ll be glad to chip into a story.
    Si em, tow en can de lach.
    Tak&#33; Tak&#33; Tak ah wan, Tak a lah&#33;
    Mi tow, can de lach.
    Mi him, en tow.

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