The Famously Wonderful Tales of the Mighty *Higgeldy-Plog - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
    Dear All Concerned... yourtimehascome's Avatar
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    The Famously Wonderful Tales of the Mighty *Higgeldy-Plog

    Chapter One

    The Famously Wonderful Tales of the Mighty *Higgeldy-Plog

    *Higgeldy-Plog is a copyright name from Wizwum from Old World Chronicles, used with permission; hopefully, we’re still working out the fine details of the agreement process, you know, money, percents and all that good stuff. But this is getting to be a very long copyright, soooooo, bye.

    It all began on a Wednesday, which is when it all began. Higgeldy-Plog awoke; eyes blood shot, in his normal position of the weary traveler in a tavern bed. The small and somewhat round hobbit swung his legs to the side of his bed and let out a severely large yawn like a beast awaking from its slumber. He needed food, nourishment; breakfast. He stood and picked up his somewhat empty bag. Higgeldy-Plog had begun his journey not long ago, looking for adventure, excitement, and deep down, he wanted to find himself…
    Some food.
    He threw on his travelers coat and strapped on his trusty sword, specifically made for hobbits size, which he had come to call; Joey. Joey and Higgeldy-Plog met in one of the local stores near Higgeldy-Plog’s dwelling place. Higgeldy-Plog opened his room door and continued down the hall to the stairs. He hoped that the painful walk down these ten steps would be worth his breakfast. After a few grunts, he conquered the stairs and made his way to one of the tables. He sat down and ordered the biggest and most expensive thing he could. It was at this time that one of the locals happened to pass b, bumping into him and apologizing for doing so. This insignificant looking bump will begin the spiral Alice in the Rabbit Hole journey he was about to embark upon.
    It all began on a Wednesday, which is when it all began, when Higgeldy-Plog could not pay for his breakfast at a local tavern. He was thrown into the kitchen to wash dishes to pay for the meal. It is at this time that you must listen carefully, because by listening carefully you will be able to listen carefully to what I am hoping you will listen closely too.
    Now, it was during his prison sentence of washing the dishes that Higgeldy-Plog overheard a conversation between the cook and a waiter about a local seeking adventure wished for a companion on his travels.
    Higgeldy-Plog, as quietly as possible, left through the back widow. Finally he could have his adventure. He traveled to the town square, where, as he heard, he found a man, sleeping. The man, hat over face, snored loudly and had a sign above his head saying “In need of an Adventure Companion”.
    Higgeldy-Plog nudged the man, and he awoke with a start. He lifted his straw hat a glanced at Higgeldy-Plog.
    “Who are you?” he asked.
    “My name is Higgeldy-Plog, and I would just so happen to be inquiring about the adventure, helper… thing.”
    “Ay, yes, um well, I hope you realize what we will be doing.”
    “Yes, adventures and that sort of thing, right?
    “Umm, right, yes, close, I mean, yes.”
    “So, what is your name; sir?”
    “The name, yes, oh, me? Oh, right. My name… aw yes I remember, umm, you know… just call me ythc, because, currently I cannot remember my name…”
    “Ok, ythc. Any details on our ‘mission’?”
    “Yes, it all began when…”

    What do you think?


    Fluff Master

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  3. #2
    /botnobot/ DavidWC09's Avatar
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    It feels like a bit of Lewis Carroll mixed with a touch of Roald Dahl and a hint of Tolkien. I like it so far. I think you could smooth it out a bit with clearer transitions between scenes, but I like the syntactic repetition, which itself serves as a transition.

    Fixing the formatting would help make it more readable. Even indenting paragraphs, or skipping lines between them for standard forum coding, would help.

    Still, it's fun and I'd enjoy reading more.
    Painting Videos--My Warriors of Chaos--WHFB Tactica Index

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