The Day Tzeentch lost his Mojo (funny) - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Squig69's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    The North East of England
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    The Day Tzeentch lost his Mojo (funny)

    Okay, so the Four Ruinous Powers are sitting in a bar with the champions of the Legions dedicated to their glory.

    Khorne and his World Eater minion are punching each other in the face over who can get the next choice of what to play on the dukebox.

    Nurgle and a Plaguemarine are betting how fast they can inflict a terminal disease on the bar staff.

    Slaanesh and his favoured son have vanished into the gents and no one has the nerve to go in and find out what they're doing.

    And Tzeentch......well the Great Mutator is slulking in the corner of the bar glaring with his many eyes at the stoic Thousand Son sitting next to him.

    Occasionally (over the sound of the fight between the Berseker and Khorne) the sound of Tzeentch yelling "oh for f**ks sake DO something! Go on! Spew a tentacle! Breath fire! I DARE YAH YOU BLOODY PILE OF DUST!" can be heard.


    Well I can't help but think that the Thousand Sons are perhaps the LEAST Tzeentch Cult army in the game.

    Rubric Marines are like the backwards cousins of Tzeentch. No doubt Tzeentch is kicking himself that he even bothered to reward Ahriman. He took a perfectly good Legion of Mutating Marines


    turned them



    40K Tzeentch armies should be chock full of Spawn and Possessed with Marines converted to have tentacles and things.

    Not a Legion of Tin men filled with magic dust-bunnies. {goofy}

    Don't hate Da Playa, hate Da Game!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    :w00t: Hooray for ass monkeys!

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  3. #2
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    Feb 2007
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    Here is how it would go....

    Okay, so the Four Ruinous Powers are sitting in a bar with the champions of the Legions dedicated to their glory. They had gathered to decide the fate of a new world spawned in the eye of terror, its representative jewel gleamed on the table before them.

    It was decided that the survivor of personal combat between the champions would claim the planets fate.

    Khorne and a Berserker were getting ready by punching each other in the face.

    Nurgle and a Plaguemarine inspected a plague knife.

    Slaanesh and his favored son turned to the waitress tied up between them.

    And Tzeentch sat quietly next to his bullet ridden suit of animated armor champion.

    Khorns champion leaned over and struck the thousand sons marine on the shoulder pad saying, " But can we even say that this thing is alive!, Ha ha ha".

    The billowing cloud of dust that arose from the holes in the armor from this violent hit covered the table, and the berserkers laughter was cut short as He sneezed and Khorns headbutt caved in his skull.

    The noise marine was so enraptured by this novel death that the plague marines knife wasn't even felt as it killed him.

    Nurgle stood up and shouted, "There will be none of your trickery, Tzeentch!". It may have been the magical dust or the hatred Nurgle has toward Tzeentch, but in that moment Nurgles hold on his champion wavered and the champion dissolved in the rot that should have killed him 1000 years ago.

    Tzeentch leaned forward and claimed his prize, saying: "All it takes is 10000 years and a good plan."

  4. #3
    King of the Burning Sands Backdraft005's Avatar
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    Jul 2007
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    Nice guys. kb that was quiet good, everything that Tzeentch is really.

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