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  1. #1
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    Renegade fluff, What do you think?

    This is my first attempt at writing fluff for my CHaos Space Marine army. I havent tried writing any fluff before and you can probably guess the origin of most of the names, but i am pretty sure that they haven't been used in a 40k setting before. Please give any criticism about me breaking fluff, etc and i'll try and change it. Also can you please just say that you like it if nothing else. I posted this in 40k army fluff and the only response i got was from Karmoon, thanks a lot to him by the way and thanks in advance to everyone else. Revan_101

    Part 1: Betrayal

    The bastard -illegitimate- son of Roboute Guilliman, Revanchist. Revan grew up on the recently reconquered world of Deralia that had once belonged to Chaos. On the eve of his fifteenth birthday, the Dark Eldar struck, devastating he Imperial Army forces on the planet. Revan was one of those captured. Revan had been fighting the Dark Eldar in hand to hand combat, an impressive feat as he had never been properly trained. He was captured after being knocked unconscious when a soldier of the Imperial Army fired a frag missile into a cluster of Dark Eldar warriors, not caring if he hit
    Revan. After being captured, Revan led an armed rebellion against his temporary Dark Eldar masters. He slew the Archon himself and forced the pilots to return to his home planet. Upon arrival Revan discovered that the Ultramarines, liberators of Deralia, had returned. They had heard that Deralia was under attack, but not by whom, or how many of the enemy there were. Revan was given a hero's welcome and offered a place in the Ultramarines Legion by Lysimachus Cestus on the orders of the Ultramarines Primarch himself, Revan accepted. After one of the swiftest inductions ever, Revan became a full battle brother in the 11th company. A century later, he was a captain. On the day he was made captain, Roboute Guilliman ordered him to come to a meeting in Guilliman's chambers, there Revan was told of his heritage. Not long after this the heresy began and the Word Bearers attack Calth. Revan had struggled to achieve distinction now that the truth of his heritage was out and welcomed the opportunity to test himself against his brother space marines. When the Word Bearers struck, many remember the terror of the great Word bearer ship, not the desperate counter attack upon the bulk of the Word Bearers legion. It was Revan who led the chapter belonging to Master Illidan into the heart of the Word Bearers force, it was he who slew Rebus, first chaplain of the Word Bearers, and it was he, not the destruction of the Word Bearers mighty battleship that convinced them to turn tail and flee. Then at the height of his triumph HE was betrayed, by the man he trusted implicitly, who had served with him every step of his journey, Arthas. Arthas told Guilliman and the Ultramarine leaders that Revan had turned to Chaos, and betrayed all that the Ultramarines stood for. Believing him and his troops were heroes and would be accepted once more, Revan and his men were taken completely by surprise when the rest of the Ultramarines began firing in them. Surrounded, outnumbered and outgunned, Revan's men wanted to stand and fight, but Revan wanted better for his men. After all they had given they had been betrayed by those they had trusted most. With the "loyalists" all around, and Arthas in the middle, more than seven companies of those that followed Revan were killed during the daring escape. Only Revan's company, that of his mentor, Illidan and that his childhood friend from Deralia, Drevin, escaped. All of them had suffered serious casualties. Revan was now the honorary leader of the war band, and he led his troops west, away from the Ultramarines, not wanting to clash with those he had broken bread with again. Not until he was ready.

    To truly understand Revan, you must truly realise how much he hates Arthas, Guilliman and the Ultramarines at this stage. He had given everything he could to his legion, and they had taken it and more. He has guessed that Arthas betrayed him and intends to pay his old friends their due. But first he knows he needs a base to fight from. He is motivated purely by vengeance at this stage.

    Revan had fought Chaos in all its forms for centuries by this stage, and knew its power. Realising that as Guilliman had one ear of the Emperor, and that the Warmaster had the other, Revan decided that his only viable choice was to turn to Chaos. Tzeentch was the first Chaos entity to speak to Revan and instructed Revan to prove his new loyalties by seizing the Imperial base on Kejim, and free the chaos pirates who are to be executed there. Dutifully Revan carried out this mission and captured the base in a style befitting of one who had attained some of the highest honours available to a Space Marine, a captaincy and a company to command. Revan freed the pirates, but Slaanesh spoke to him. If you pursue perfection, you must do it in all things. You will need expertise in ship-to-ship combat. Kill your servitors, their loyalties lie with the Emperor. Slay your astropath, you are a latent psyker, with the help of your new Possessed, you can find your own way. Give the pirate Malcolm Sharp command of your vessel, and allow him to appoint his officers. He will serve you until his death, as the other pirates will do to a man. You are a Warlord now; you can do whatever you wish....

    Revan ordered the remnants of his company to paint their armour red, the colour to honour a father in Deralian culture, and gold for vengeance. Drevin was to abolish what was tainted by the Ultramarines in his company by repainting their armour and renaming his company, as was Illidan. Drevin named the 17th the Mystic Swordsmen and painted their armour a faded blue with grey highlights to reflect their shame and sorrow. Illidan elected to call his company, formerly the 11th, the (insert company name here) and painted his armour black and purple. Illidan was already beginning to mutate, he had sprouted wings and ordered his soldiers to paint sigils of protection on their armour. Illidan had become attracted to the teachings of Tzeentch, but his first loyalty was to Revan. Revan and Drevin were dedicated to vengeance, they both wanted it to be total and perfect, and so to this end they had both dedicated themselves to Slaanesh. Revan's company's leadership was in tatters. From his company he appointed 10 new sergeants who would be his captains and strike terror in his enemies. Canderous, Jher'aah, Bralor, Sherruk, Drakken, Kelborn, Azkul, Kumus, Oreius, Ergeron. He also had the man tipped to become the next Spear of Macragge who from now on would take to the field in a Baneblade they had captured on Kejim, Barabus. Finally Gelgane, the master of the Forge, would provide his company with technical know how in the eternal war. These were Revan's Crimson Eagles.

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  3. #2
    Sadomachiatto Karmoon's Avatar
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    This thread already exists in the fluff section.

    You are not allowed duplicate threads.

    If you're worried about people not commenting perhaps you should take on board comments about making it easier to read.

    People will not read a large block of text unless they're extremely bored or mental in some way.


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