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  1. #1
    Airborne Mastershake's Avatar
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    479 (x8)

    Worst Guard List Ever

    So, I came with an idea for an IG army one could bring to a tournament. This is most decidedly not something to bring to a friendly game as you'll soon see. The idea was fairly simple, put together a list that nobody at a tournament wants to fight, not because it's good, but because the best battle points you will ever get is the ones awarded for a draw. The idea is to run down the clock with massive and time-consuming shooting phases. The list for 2K is:

    Company Command
    -No Options

    Yarrick

    2xInfantry Platoons
    -5x squads each all with grenade launchers, 1 squad per Platoon has a commisar
    -Cmd squads have a Mortar
    -Each has a squad of 50 Conscripts

    3x Griffon Mortar Batteries
    -3x Griffons each


    You keep Yarrick and the main command in between the conscripts. You form up the regular guardsmen into 2x 50xman units, and you issue FRF SRF to all of them every turn. The key to this strategy is also having no more than 20 dice on you at a time.

    Essentially, to fire 1 of the 4 massive squads, you have to issue the order, determine individual LoS and range for all 50 models and rapid fire range for lasguns, Resolve the 5 Krak Grenade Templates and roll between 90 and 135 shots in blocks of 20. Rinse and repeat 4 times. Then you have individual mortars in command squads to resolve. And finally you have the always fun multiple barrages, of which there are 3 groups of 3 and all 9 scatter dice can be re-rolled.

    If your opponent does make contact with your lines you're then rolling a ridiculous amount of melee attacks and saves every turn, and probably not going anywhere, so it won't help the situation.

    All-in-all, I'm figuring you could get through at most 3 turns in a standard tournament, less if you're playing DoW deployment as you get to move and run over 100 models on the table. You're opponent might very well start begging for death halfway through your first shooting phase. The sad part is everyone would probably call this monstrosity a "fluffy" list.

    Standing in for guardsmen in this list would be blobs of Green Stuff with lasguns stuck in, unless you actually wanted to do 200 joes. As I have no soul, I would love to bring this to a tournament, just to see the expressions on my opponent's faces when they realize my shooting phases will take well over half an hour. Alternatively, I did look at Chenkov, the idea of just removing and replacing 50 conscripts every turn for no apparent reason and having them move and run off the board edge would be hilarious.

    Are there any other cheap and time consuming tricks I'm missing here?

    Blais's Paint Studio-Getting broken armies good soft scores since 2009

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  3. #2
    Herald of Chaos Tyrius's Avatar
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    92 (x2)

    Well in objective based games you will not get a draw when they have their objective and contest anything you could reach. 3 Turns is more then enough to wrack up kill points and still win.
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  4. #3
    Blood Axe Gorfang's Avatar
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    93 (x2)

    I mean, I understand that this is a joke list, but it would not take nearly as long as you might imagine. If you assume that versus any mechanized force you really dont have any shooting to do that will at least accelerate your turn. Any intentional delays of game from just sitting around when you have models to move will likely get a swift reprimand from your tournament organizers, and repeated offenses may end up forcing you to forfeit.


    However, this does remind me of easily the best Apocalypse list I've ever seen....it basically consisted of many many conscript squads that all would strategic redeploy over and over. After spending the last 10 minutes trying to find that post I have simply given up

  5. #4
    Member sgt screwball's Avatar
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    Fielding this list isn't as unreasonable as you might think.

    I, for example, would need only a few more boxes of guardsmen to reach 200.

    If two guard players got together, fielding that many guardsmen would be no problem at all.

    The bigger problem would likely be the 9 Griffons.

    Additionally, as someone who routinely gets to only turn 3 in tournaments without using delaying tactics, 150 guardsmen in an infantry heavy list is more than enough. The variety of weapon types is more important than the number of shots for taking up time. Rolling 400 lasgun shots doesn't take much time, but rolling 50 lasgun shots, 4 autocannons, 3 missile launchers, 2 battle cannons, etc. takes a very long time.

    Finally, delaying tactics don't win games, so they're kind of pointless for winning tournaments. The best bet is to finish the game so that you get more points.

  6. #5
    Airborne Mastershake's Avatar
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    479 (x8)

    I mean, I understand that this is a joke list, but it would not take nearly as long as you might imagine. If you assume that versus any mechanized force you really dont have any shooting to do that will at least accelerate your turn.
    True, but against marine mech list i.e. rhinos, the Griffons can still destroy vehicles making it look less ridiculous to fire your barrages. Then if anything is forced to hop out in range go to town with everything. Also you still have 5 grenades per ifnatnry at 24". As soon as they get out of their rhinos the lunacy will ensue with stupid numbers of lasguns. Meanwhile he's desperately trying to get rid of some of the sea of guardsman or anything the 3 vehicle squadrons.

    Well in objective based games you will not get a draw when they have their objective and contest anything you could reach. 3 Turns is more then enough to wrack up kill points and still win.
    Which objective games are you referring to here? If there is 1 per side, we aren't getting each others. If there are many in the middle, the list has plenty of spare wounds and takes up enough space to contest or take everything. And kill points, really? where is he getting it from? One of the 3 vehicle squadrons beyond the sea of guardsmen, or the command squads cowering behind the squadrons? 3 Turns isn't enough time for most armies to remove 50 stubborn models, and even if they do, they get a pat on the back and eat FRF SRF lasguns from everything else.

    Finally, delaying tactics don't win games, so they're kind of pointless for winning tournaments. The best bet is to finish the game so that you get more points.
    The objective here isn't to win, it's to keep the other guy from winning
    Last edited by Mastershake; May 14th, 2009 at 20:03.
    Blais's Paint Studio-Getting broken armies good soft scores since 2009

  7. #6
    Blood Axe Gorfang's Avatar
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    93 (x2)

    I am to assume that this list is spread into a CCS, 2 platoon commands, 2 50 guardsman blocks and 2 50 conscript blocks, along with the 9 tanks?

    What entertains me is the fact that in combat, a 20 boy squad of orks (who came from say a battlewagon, unkillable vs this list) rolls more dice than you do, and kills about 23 Guardsmen in the first round, enough to reduce the number of dice you roll by a significant degree.

    Proxy this list with some friends who use burnaboyz in battlewagons. Make a competition that whoever can kill the most guardsmen in a single turn of burna'ing wins a coke.

  8. #7
    Airborne Mastershake's Avatar
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    479 (x8)

    What entertains me is the fact that in combat, a 20 boy squad of orks (who came from say a battlewagon, unkillable vs this list) rolls more dice than you do, and kills about 23 Guardsmen in the first round, enough to reduce the number of dice you roll by a significant degree.
    Pittens, not even half a squad and they start killing less as time drags on thanks to not furiosly charging. The stubborn guardsmen will be unimpressed, and even if they are, the commisar won't be

    Proxy this list with some friends who use burnaboyz in battlewagons. Make a competition that whoever can kill the most guardsmen in a single turn of burna'ing wins a coke.
    Always fun, but let us not pretend that anything in the game likes the burnawagon. I saw one make a squad of Khorne Berzerkers take 80 armor saves.
    Blais's Paint Studio-Getting broken armies good soft scores since 2009

  9. #8
    Member Typhos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gorfang View Post
    Proxy this list with some friends who use burnaboyz in battlewagons. Make a competition that whoever can kill the most guardsmen in a single turn of burna'ing wins a coke.
    A unit of 10 burna boyz should be able to kill a 50 man guardsmen squad in 1 turn of shoot without a second thought.

    I mean, assuming 7 hits per flamer (easily doable) the math works out to 47 guardsmen killed in one shooting phase. The remaining 3 are either running or an easy cleanup.

  10. #9
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    Actually this seems like a fairly decent point denial list vs elite ground based armies.

    Killing some 50 IG within three turns to get a single KP out of it is a fairly daunting task, maybe even for the elite assault units like banshees, waagh's could probably do it though, unless you grabbed straken and assaulted them first. either way theres still 150 more men waiting.

    Of course fighting ranged armies with decent selection of scary pie plates can probably kill the 50 man squads maybe within 2-3 turns...this is something that I will have to put some consideration into, more out of sheer annoyance then actual practicality.
    Last edited by Tronics; May 14th, 2009 at 21:13.
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  11. #10
    Airborne Mastershake's Avatar
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    479 (x8)

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there aren't responses, but to an average tournament list this is the equivalent of throwing a big rig on a NASCAR track. You won't win the race, but you'll sure as hell hamstring anyone stuck with you.

    An average squad of loootas getting their 6-7 wounds a turn, or a squad of 20 boyz foot slogging will hate this list. Daemons will pull their hair out as their bloodcrushers desperately try to kill enough to even get a kill point and if the wrong half comes in the game is already over.

    CSM with lash is the big tourney list that could seriously threaten you as they could throw you in a nice template formation and lob Plasmas and Battle cannons, while also lashing you into multiple Zerker squads.
    Blais's Paint Studio-Getting broken armies good soft scores since 2009

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