Welcome to Librarium Online!
Join our community of 80,000+ members and take part in the number one resource for Warhammer and Warhammer 40K discussion!
Registering gives you full access to take part in discussions, upload pictures, contact other members and search everything!
I've spent most of today listening to Snoop Dogg songs from 1992-93 and putting company policy documents through Gizoogle and various other jive filters. As such, I have decided to convert me an Imquisitor Pimp. The actual model is still being poured over, but these are a set of rules I've come up with for him.
Bear in mind this bloke is purely for fun and is not meant to be a serious attempt at a custom character. As such any suggestions for rules will be welcomed as long as they're in the spirit of the character (i.e not to make him "good", more to make him fun to use).
Pimp-Master Calvin "Humpty" Broadus, Inquisitizzle-Fabulous of the Ordo Hereteezy
Points Cost: You can't put a price on a pimp
WS - 4 (5)
BS - 4 (10)
S - 3 (4)
T - 3
W - 3
I - 4 (5)
A - 3 (4)
Ld - 10
Sv - 2+ / 4+
Retinue - Pimp-Master Broadus is a P-I-M-P, and therefore must be accompanied by a retinue of at least 3 models because a pimp with no ho's is like a bicycle with no wheels, better recognise. The retinue must be composed entirely of female models representing any of the usual Witch Hunters' henchmen with the usual limits on their numbers, and if his retinue is destroyed he must make a mandatory move towards the nearest friendly all-female unit in each movement phase until he can join them, in which case he must join them. He may shoot as normal during these moves, but cannot assault. If no all-female units are present he must move towards the nearest friendly unit with at least one female model. If no female models are present, Pimp-Master Broadus is free to do whatever he feels like because it's a G thang.
As a normal Inquisitor Lord, except:
Ho'-Slappin' Fury - Pimp-Master Broadus' powerfist, Ho'Slappah, has seen a great deal of action during his time hustlin' and pimpin' and has gone upside the head of some of the galaxy's most notorious hood rats. As such, any attacks by Pimp-Master Broadus against female models in base-to-base contact with him will be made with +1 WS and +1 Strength at +1 Initiative. He also gains +1 Attack against female models.
Crip-Walk: Pimp-Master Broadus need not make Dangerous Terrain tests when moving through terrain with that classification, since he doesn't like making punk-ass Dangerous Terrain tests and he'll go upside your head if you force one on him. However, due to his natural predilection to crip-walk, he must always move as if in difficult terrain. This rule is conferred to any unit Pimp-Master Broadus joins.
Street Hustla - Pimp-Master Broadus is adept at sprayin' foo's with his Pimp Pistol, and as such gains +6 BS when remaining stationary to fire it twice or if he is firing from within a vehicle because he is from the home of drive-bys and automatics.
Stinking Pimp - Any and all female models, or models which could be construed as female such as Daemonettes or Leillith Hesperax, find Pimp-Master Broadus disgusting and demeaning. They gain +1 Attack, +2 Strength and +2 WS when attacking Pimp-Master Broadus.
PROTECT ME, HO'! - Pimp-Master Broadus don't like scuffin' up his pink leather gloves, and so his ho's are "more than willing" to help him out of a jam should any suckahs try to front on him. He may choose to swap places with any female models within the unit he is in during an assault phase in which his unit has charged or has been charged. The model will fight his opponents, and the valorous Pimp Master will fight hers, if any.
"Tha Pink Mink" - Sporting the freshest threads straight outta Compton, Tha Pink Mink acts as artificer armour (designer label, suckah!).
Tha Magic Stick - A potent symbol of pimposity, Tha Magic Stick can ward off even the most potent of haters and posers alike. It counts as an Icon of the Just, although it really shouldn't.
Tha Pimp Visage: The merest presence of Pimp-Master Broadus representing the Ordo Hereteezy upon the field of set-trippin' is enough to keep the fools and suckah powers of the Warp at bay. He counts as having Unguents of Warding.
Pimp Pistol Automatic Fo Sho - Also known as the "Twister Of Caps" and "Tha Pimpinator", this counts as a twin-linked Inferno Pistol.
Almost forgot the most important piece of wargear of all.....
Ho'-Slappah - Counts as a powerfist, imbued with the power of the pimp. This confers no additional bonuses in game-terms, but serves to heighten the pimpitude of Pimp-Master Broadus.
:rofl: This is probably the most amusing and entertaining thing to read. Maybe, just maybe it should be used in your next game.:w00t: :yes:
There's no "maybe" about it, as soon as I get the model and retinue sorted I'm going to chuck him into my DH list as an "ally". Possibly a "Homie".
The funniest thing I've read all day! I'm definately saving this post, maybe I'll convert me up a Broadus once too (probably never though ). Great idea!!
yeah cool concept and i would play him in a heartbeat (mostly cause my army has only 1 male model in it and who dosn't like ***** slappin a pimp?)
hey maybe give him a psychic power somthing like "ho hirin", pimp may use in either players assault phase one enemy female model in base to base with pimp must take a leadership test, if failed he has succesful demeaned her and broken her spirit so in effect she until the end of the game counts as one of his ho's and will follow him and fight for him as long as she's able
"take my love, take my land, take me to where i cannot stand, i don't care i'm still free you can't take the sky from meee" ;- firefly
"i'm gonna grant you your greatest wish i'm gonna show you a world without sin" ;- serentiy
"I am a leaf on the wind, watch how i soar" ;- serenity
Haha I like that "Spittin' Game", sounds good to me xD
EDIT: How's this:
Spittin' Game - At the end of any assault phase in which Pimp-Master Broadus is in base-to-base contact with a female model, he may attempt to kick game to her. The model at whom game is spat must immediately make an unmodified Ld test; if the test is failed, the model has caught the vapours and is counted as part of Pimp-Master Broadus' retinue for the remainder of the game. If the test is passed, resolve a single attack against Pimp-Master Broadus using the female model's S and WS (i.e don't include the +2 bonus she would get from the Stinking Pimp rule, any other modifiers may be used as normal); this is a direct slap in the face and as such no armour saves may be taken, only the Pimp-Master's invulnerable save. This attack can cause Instant Death; it can be imagined that Pimp-Master Broadus has fled the field in shame at being *****-slapped by a ho.
Last edited by Heathen; April 21st, 2006 at 08:39.
Hah! Just like Petey Wheatstraw's magic cane. Brilliant!Originally Posted by Heathen
EDIT: Scratch that, I Googled Petey Wheatstraw. Cracking stuff
Last edited by Heathen; April 22nd, 2006 at 21:09.