Welcome to Librarium Online!
Join our community of 80,000+ members and take part in the number one resource for Warhammer and Warhammer 40K discussion!
Registering gives you full access to take part in discussions, upload pictures, contact other members and search everything!
this is my imperial guard parody of the B******* from the bush and australian poem
As the night was falling slowly over barracks, town and sea,
Over a crater in the armoured scrapyard came the Captain of the Squad 4B,
And his order loud and piercing woke the dozing of the gulls,
And two dozen flak-vested figures came stumbling round the burntout hulls.
Then the Captain jerked a finger at a stranger on the kerb
Whom he qualified politely with an adjective and verb.
Then he made the introduction: 'Here's a gunbaby from the sea-
Frag me blind, he wants to join usâ€”be a member of 4B.'
Then the stranger made this answer to the Captain of 4B,
'Why, frag you maybe, I ain't no gunbaby, Im a guardsman from the sea.
'I've been in every PDF from Tallarn to "the Green",
'I've ridden Russ and Chimeraâ€”what more could you mean?'
'Are you game to burn a 'nid?' asked the Captain of 4B.
'I'd burn the entire hive down,' said the guardsman from the sea.
'Would fight a wraithlords mutie?' said the Captain of 4B.
'I'd fight the mutie's wraithlord,' said the guardsman from the sea.
'Would you frag a bloody Commissar if you caught the leash alone,
'Would you choke him with your lasgun, split his Aquila with a stone?
'Would you have His blessing to keep you, would you swear off sin for good?'
'What? Live on the Emperors blessing? I don't bloody think I should!'
'Would you care to have a Lho stick?' said the Captain of 4B.
'I'll take the bloody packet,' said the guardsman from the sea.
Then the guardsmen all took counsel, saying, 'Frag me, but he's game.
'Let's make him our star frontliner, he'll live up to his name.'
So they took him to their barracks, that guarsman from the sea,
And they granted him all privileges appertaining to 4B.
But soon they found his brave ways were more than they could stand,
And finally the Captain thus addressed his little band.
'Now listen here, you planks, we've caught bloody martyr ,
'At every kind of glory, that guardsman is a starter,
'At parade and on the frontline, he's made us all look bad,
'he outdrinks us all in amasec, and his place will soon be sad.
So down in armoured scrapyard all the members of 4B
Laid wait in dirty ambush for the guardsman from the sea.
But against the hull of a Leman Russ, the guardsman made a stand,
A nasty grin upon his dial, a lasgun in each hand.
They sprang upon him in a bunch, but one by one they fell,
With crackle of las, unearthly groan, and agonising yell,
Till the almost dead Captain, spitting teeth and gouts of blood,
Held his eye, shotout and bleeding in a hand bedaubed with mud.
'You chaos polluted twist,' snarled the 4B Captain Thorpe,
'Get back to where your sort belong, that's somewhere in the warp:
'And I hope heaps of choas plague may soon tumble down upon you,
'May some lousy Psyker taunt you till your face becomes sky-blue.
'May the pangs of muttie daggers through your torso dart,
'May you Beserkers cleave your skull till your body falls apart,
'May you take a swig of ork blood, mistaking it for beer,
'May the next squad you impose on toss you out upon your ear.
'May thousands of flies torment you, may claws grow on your feet,
'May orks as big as baneblades attack your barracks a treat,
'Then when you're service is finally over, and from a tank turret home you treck,
'May you slip back through the hull, and break your warp-spawned neck.'
lol that is excellent. Rep for you. Who knows with the way things are going recently you might become enhanced with only 15 posts.
Check out my Codex: Farmyard Animals here!
If anyone wants any kind of help writing fluff for any kind of GW army just ask.
wow that was good heres a cookie
Rheagar fought nobly
Rheagar fought valiantly
Rheagar fought honorably
And Rheagar died.
'The ballad of Carnifex Bill'
Once upon a time,
somewhere deep in space,
drifted a loathsome hiveship,
surrounded with poisoned haze.
The old lady of the hiveship,
her name was Mother Mind,
was trusted by her children,
for being always kind.
Then the day came,
when she would breed,
three monstrous brothers,
who were unequal indeed.
The oldest one,
his name was Jack,
was feared by his brothers,
and leader of the pack.
The second brother,
though not as strong,
he was called Butch,
and was wily all along.
The youngest of the three,
who was named Bill,
was always looked upon,
and cuddled against his will.
His brothers became jealous,
for Bill was the sweatheart,
it did not take much time,
and the family fell apart.
Bill's brothers Jack and Butch,
who both tried to rule the Hive,
where outcasted by the Mother,
and eaten up alive.
But Bill who feared the Mother,
for her ever tender care,
fled on a nearby planet,
being pampered was too much to bear.
Though not as beefy and wily,
as his brothers once had been,
for the humans on the planet,
he was the strongest they had seen.
Bill ate his way through the cities,
through every farm and town,
none was able to stop him,
they had quite much to moan.
Then after a year had passed,
the plantet was a lifeless ground,
the hiveship emerged from the skies,
and Mom was happy that Bill was found.
Bill returned to his Mother,
and they started a big feast,
then Bill was reabsorbed,
to breed another beast.
Last edited by Microcosm; November 25th, 2006 at 15:07.
Both these poems are great. REP x2
Wait!!! Dont rep me i didnt write this i just changed an existing one extensivly, now i feel guilty.....
k, then we just report your threat to make up for it :w00t: , no, just kidding.....:shifty:
Don't worry I got that you had changed an exisiting poem but I still thought it was worthy of rep.
"Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you're in favor of free speech, then you're in favor of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise. Otherwise, you're not in favor of free speech."
youve been legal pwned