Of Trui, And Gay

[BorninDarkness]

Taken from a dutch website, thought it was pretty cool so I translated it. Note: the word 'trui' is dutch for 'sweater'. They use this word as a translation for True (something you hear a lot when talking on metal forums). Also note that I translated this literally so it's not my opinion necessarily.


This is meant to give our fellow humans some insight in the basic principles of Trui. To start with the basics, here's the story of the Creation of All.

In the beginning, there was Hank. In those times, Hank was everything, and everything was Hank. There was no earth, no beer, no Trui and Gay, just Hank. From Hank came everything, just like Hank in turn came from that everything.

After a while, Hank got bored, so he decided to create the earth and it's first inhabitants for study and entertainment. To keep these people (who should never be mistaken with Adam and Eve) happy, he created the Truly Trui Things.There were, and still are, three of those, namely Iron Maiden, Amon Amarth, and the Grolsch Beugel. These three things are even now the only things that are Truly Trui, along with Hank of course.

Mankind lived in complete happiness, because the only had each other and the three Truly Trui Things. The term 'Gay' wasn't known to man at that time. This changed when God appeared. Where he comes from, nobody knows, and that's not important anyway. What matters is the all of a sudden he was there, and introduced the Gay. As a counterpart of the three Truly Trui Things, God created the three Truly Gay Things, namely Limp Bizkit, Slipknot and Heineken.

After that God started doing Gay things like war and introducing tax, and on top of that he created in his Almighty Gayness Charles (Karel) the Fifth. The first Gay Person was born. Many would follow.

Now

In these days there's a battle between Trui and Gay. Of course, Trui is meant to win, because otherwise we would all be Gay, and that's about the last thing we want.

To ease this burden, some Very Trui People have founded the Society of Very Trui People.

The latest development in the never ending battle between Trui and Gay: because God finally came to the conclusion that he's losing he developed a new system, which is not unlike that of Trui and Gay in the use of words. In his endless sneakyness he taught Marijke and her crew the words Sticky and Polo, respectively meaning Trui and Gay.


Law of Trui

If something isn't Trui, it's Gay. There's no in-between, because those are Gay. See it as black and white, but without gray. Because grey is Gay as we all know.
A Gay person can do Trui things, but he or she will remain Gay. Example: a Gay person can give free beer all night (Trui), but will remain Gay.
If you're Trui you can become Gay in a flash, the other way round is much more difficult.
Heineken is Gay, malt beer, even from a Trui brand like Grolsch, is much Gayer.
If a band member of a Trui band does a project with someone from a Gay band, than that band is usually Trui. However, the instruments played by the Gay person are Gay.
Hank is Truly Trui. He is the only one who is Truly Trui. You and me can only be Very Trui, we are, in your case, we can only wonder. We too cannot compare with the Truly Truiness of Hank.
Suncross and Demorpheus are Very Trui. Together they are the basis of this Very Trui society, hence they can't be anything other than Very Trui. They too can't compare to Hank's Truly Truiness.
Little Nicky is the most Trui movie ever made. In the same way, Stephen King, along with the almighty Tolkien, is the most Trui writer. The most Trui game is Quake III Arena. All Very Trui.
A Grolsch Beugel filled with any other brand of beer is still Trui. When someone's drinking from it, the Truiness increases, because the amount of Gay beer inside decreases.
Giving away free beer, no matter which brand, is Trui.
If that brand is Heineken, it's Gay.
Coming home before 5 in the morning on saturday night is Very Gay. If however this is due to traffic jams or annoying bus times, you are Trui.
De most simple rule: Gay people/things must die.
Homosexuals can be Trui. Gayness and homosexuality are two separate things.
Truiness is timeless.
Saying by Elect: Greatness lies beyond truien. In other words, wearing a trui (sweater) doesn't make you Trui. The real Truiness is in the trui (sweater). You can be Trui with a T-shirt.
Making up new words for Trui and Gay and pretending you made everything up yourself is Gay. Especially if those words are Sticky and Polo.

[RiptorAmashi]

De most simple rule: Gay people/things must die.
Homosexuals can be Trui. Gayness and homosexuality are two separate things.
Truiness is timeless.
Saying by Elect: Greatness lies beyond truien. In other words, wearing a trui (sweater) doesn't make you Trui. The real Truiness is in the trui (sweater). You can be Trui with a T-shirt.
Making up new words for Trui and Gay and pretending you made everything up yourself is Gay. Especially if those words are Sticky and Polo.

that was the best part, along with the beer, all togther though it sounds like an alternate bible :lol:

[PrOtOcoN]

Dude that was great :lol:

I agree with Riptor, that last part was great
This aswell:

If something isn't Trui, it's Gay. There's no in-between, because those are Gay. See it as black and white, but without gray. Because grey is Gay as we all know.

hehehe

[Vindkall]

I really liked this part :

After a while, Hank got bored, so he decided to create the earth and it's first inhabitants for study and entertainment. To keep these people (who should never be mistaken with Adam and Eve) happy, he created the Truly Trui Things.There were, and still are, three of those, namely Iron Maiden, Amon Amarth, and the Grolsch Beugel. These three things are even now the only things that are Truly Trui, along with Hank of course

But the Law of Trui were so True

[Sister_mel]

so many things I'l like to quote but if i did i'd repeat it all over aginn!!!


GREAT ONE

[RiptorAmashi]

this wouldnt be about you now BiD would it?

[BorninDarkness]

About me? As in I'm Hank? Nope, I merely translated this so I could share it with you lot . I'm not worthy to stand in the shadow if Hank's Truly Truiness .

[Carcaroth]

hahahahahaha so trui

[eadipus]

all very trui apart from this bit:

The most Trui game is Quake III Arena.

quake is trui, but unreal is the truiest


**goes about ressurecting the oldest argument in forum history**