Welcome to Librarium Online!
Saw a similar thread over on Warseer, but my account there doesn't seem to work any more - so why not make one over here? Post the most pitiful/unfair game you've ever seen!
For me, it was a beginners game of WH40k on a small beginners table, Tyranids versus Chaos - Gaunts + 2 Carnifexes vs Chaos marines and a Baneblade (probably not point balanced - or legal - but hey, it's beginners). A couple turns in and the Baneblade gets an Apocalyptic Explosion and everything on the board dies. I don't know if the participants thought this was awesome or not, but it did shorten the game slightly
Mine would be....
Against a newbie with the old chaos (3rd ed) list i ran. He was one of the people that get themselves into the mindset that they can beat anyone. I was in the shop building on a sunday(the day for the less expierienced at my old store), and this guy asked me for a game. Now, this was about a year n a half ago, so i was only 13 at the time. So i was playing with my Night Lords, he wanted a 1500 point game. My list was something along the lines of: Chaos Lord, 2x6 chosen, 2 oblits, a defiler, about 24 marines, 24 raptors, 6 havocs and 6 furies. Everything had infiltrate and the shootier elements had stealth adept.
He took a fairly bog standard ultramarines army. With Chaplain, about 30 Tactical Marines, 5 Assault Marines, 8 Scouts, a Predator, 5 Termies, 2 Land Speeders, 8 Grey Knights and a Land Raider. I think thats it anyway.
So anyway, i got first turn, he set up really badly, and by the end of turn one, i had killed about 75% of the army. Everything was in range in turn one >.>. My chosen, and raptors hit the Tactical marines like a brick wall. I killed 28 Marines with them. My normal squads took out the Termies with plasma and bolters. The Raider got popped by the oblits. The Assault marines and chappy died to the defiler and havocs.
It took about 30 minutes, and i just thought "Wow, this was pointless, i could be building my Daemon Prince".
having lost far more games than i have ever won (i blame the dice... if any of you ever see my dice rolls, you would probably see why), i would have to say that most of the truly pitiful games i have witnessed were my own...
The worst that comes to mind was my beloved space wolves against my friend's necrons, cant remember the line-up exactly, but it generally involved lots of 1s to hit and my erstwhile opponent rolling lots of 4+'s to get his troops onto their feet, final casualty list, my entire 1500pt space wolf army for 6 flayed ones... it was a special day, i think i was whimpering under the table after about turn 3
Well, there was the time...
Some at my local GW challenged a dark eldar player to a match vs IG. They set up length-wise, meaning something like 40" or so of space between the two opposing armies. He let the DE player have the first turn, while making a comment about the high number of scantily clad women, slight stature, and general inferiority in terms of manliness in DE armies as opposed to his cadians. Obviously, this is not LO appropriate, so I'll let your imaginations ponder the details. The archon, and only the archon, flies up in his raider, disembarks, moves 6", fleets 5", and charges 12" into blue platoon first squad. He kills five in H2H, then rest run, he sweeps on and consolidates into 3rd squad. Over two rounds of CC, he kills this, and consolidates into 2nd squad, and the platoon HQ charges in too. Three more rounds of CC see everyone facing him killed. At this point, he's killed a platoon with one man by turn 3. None of the rest of his army had moved at all. Suffice to say, he won in the end.
Well, I regrettably did not witness it - but one of my best buds plays a pure Grey Knight army, usually takes a lot of losses since they're his only foot troops. He played against a new Necron player - He didn't lose a single model the entire game. It was a slaughter. Night Fighting kept him from being shot, and bad rolling took away whatever he did manage to hit.
"If you can wait til I get home, then I swear we can make this last."
I've seen a fair number of games won by players through stalling. That to me is the most pitiful, beardy, unsporting, whatever you want to call it thing imaginable. Far worse than any 'power' list or perverse misreading of the rules that you could come up with.
Most pitiful game I've witnessed has to be a game of Necromunda a few years back. At the club there was this guy, I'll call him 'Bob' for anonymoty. He was beardy as hell and he also had a habit of making 'mistakes' in his favour, things like moving models that extra half inch, misreading rules, things like that, things that make you wonder if he's trying to cheat or is genuinely making a mistake. The reason he got away with so much was that were hints in his behaviour that he might be a bit, excuse the term, retarded. Not a lot, but a little.
So anyway, one week on specialist games night, one of the regulars who attended core game nights turned up to play instead. Now this guy was a straight up, no nonsense guy, and when he agreed to play Bob I (and most of the other people there) just knew something was going down. I was playing on the table next to them and I kept half an eye on their game. Some choice quotes from the game are:
"That's more than 4" Bob."
"You now Bob, some people might call that cheating."
"Let's look that rule up in the book Bob."
"That dice there is actually a 2 not a 3 Bob."
"Now that's definately cheating Bob."
It was actually a close game, but by the end of it Bob was almost reduced to tears.
2000AD's answer to all "How do VC deal with ..." questions: Forbidden Lore + 2 Power Stones.
Further answers will require more vodka.
One of my saddest games ever has to be a quick match I threw together at the local GW. This one kid was there with a box full of what Guard he had ready to fight, something like 400 points. He had made a few appearances at the GW mega battles on the weekends, and he's a good kid - plus he's quite the painter, those were some pretty well done Guardsmen.
Anyway, I was there with my usual 1500 and 2000 lists, so I had to hammer out a quick list in a hurry. In the name of fairness, I left out most of my heavy gear and armour since he really couldn't have handled them. Honestly, even a squad of assault marines would have likely crushed his forces like a pop can. So I wound up with basically 2 Tactical squads, a Veteran Sergeant, and a few upgrades here and there. IIRC, I actually left something like 20 or 30 points unspent.
What followed was, to be blunt, an outright massacre. Picture it as if it were a scene from a 40K novel - that's what it was like. Bolters chewing up Guardsmen left and right, Lasblasts pattering like rain from hardened Ceramite. Even his special weapons were either missing me or getting shrugged off by my armour. I eventually moved one squad up to assault his command squad, just to let his Power weapon try to even things out a bit, but to no avail. Don't get me wrong, I'm not just beating up the newbie here... Myself and several other regulars were doing the whole teaching by example thing, and he was definitely learning lessons by the end, but this one was simply preordained - no survivors for him, and about half a squad lost for me, mostly due to his commander's power sword.