A Very Khorney Christmas (and other Warhammer Christmas Songs)

[hellkat]

I decided to start a christmas parody thread, and here is my personal Contribution..


"The Twelve Days of Chaos"
On the Twelfth day of Purgatus,
The Blood god gave to me
Twelve Blood Letters Blood Letting,
Eleven Havoc Launchers
Ten Las Cannons,
Nine Thousand Sons!
Eight Berzerkers-a-Berzerking
Seven Filthy Death Guards,
Six Children of the Emperor
Five Talismans of the Burning Blood
Four Bike Marines,
Three Aspiring Champions
Two Predators,
And a Mounted Chaos lord with an axe of khorne!

[Deek]

I love the song sweet

[Da Mighty Camel]

And the Twelve Day of Chaos

On the first day of Chaos, my true God’s gifted to me
Daemonic Immortality

On the second day of Chaos, my true God’s gifted to me
Two Daemonettes (ooh)
and Daemonic Immortality

On the third day of Chaos, my true God’s gifted to me
Three legions,
two Daemonettes (ooh), and Daemonic Immortality

On the fourth day of Chaos, My true god’s gifted to me
Four chaos cults,
three Legions, two Daemonettes (ooh), and Daemonic immortality

On the fifth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Five Strange Things,
four chaos cults, three legions, two Daemonettes (ooh), and Daemonic Immortality

On the sixth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Six slayers slaying,
Five Strange Things, four chaos cults,
three legions, two Daemonettes (ooh), and Daemonic Immortality

On the seventh day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Seven Gamers winning,
six slayers slaying, Five Strange Things, four chaos cults,
three legions, two Daemonettes (ooh), and Daemonic Immortality

On the eighth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Eight madmen screaming,
seven gamers winning, six slayers slaying, Five Strange Things,
four chaos cults, three legions, two daemonettes (ooh)
and Daemonic Immortality

On the ninth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Nine demagogues Goggling,
eight madmen screaming, seven gamers winning, six slayers slaying,
Five Strange Things, four Chaos Cults, three Legions, two Daemonettes (ooh),
and Daemonic Immortality.


On the tenth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Ten Leper’s lynching, nine Demagogues goggling, eight madmen screaming, seven gamers winning, six slayers slaying, Five Strange Things, four chaos cults,
three Legions, two Daemonettes (ooh),
and Daemonic Immortality.


On the eleventh day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Eleven nurgling’s a nurgling,
Ten Leper’s lynching, nine Demagogues goggling, eight madmen screaming, seven gamers winning, six slayers slaying, Five Strange Things, four chaos cults,
three Legions, two Daemonettes (ooh),
and Daemonic Immortality.


On the twelvth day of Chaos my true God’s gifted to me
Twelve flesh hounds a howling,
Eleven nurgling’s nurgling, Ten Leper’s lynching, nine Demagogues goggling, eight madmen screaming, seven gamers winning, six slayers slaying, Five Strange Things, four chaos cults, three Legions, two Daemonettes (ooh),

and Daemonic Immortality

Gav Thorpe got Stepped on By a Titan

Gav Thorpe got stepped on by a Titan
As he left the studio, Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Chaos,
But as for the guys at Portent, we believe!

He’d Revised the Eldar Codex,
like we begged him not to do.
But he’d gone off his medication,
And staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found him Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack
There were footprints in the roadway,
And incriminating bolt wounds in his back.

CHORUS
Now we're all so proud of Andy,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching Gothic,
Getting pissed and painting Orks
with cousin Mel.

It's not Christmas without Gav Thorpe,
But the Eldar’ve got their Codex back.
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we release his final update
or send it back?

SEND IT BACK!!!

CHORUS

The Codex is in the stores now
And the Wraithlord’s toughness 9
(ahhhhh!)
And Altansar Craftworld’s been abandoned,
It went just like the hair
on Fat Bloke’s Head.

Better warn old Saint Nicholas,
He’s gotta watch out for himself.
Coz they’ll sic the Inquisition,
one any man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.
Sing it, Gav!

[xtc-alec]

HAHAHAHAHA man that stuff is amazing

[Dodge]

Great work on the songs, very amusing.
On my 11th day of xmas nurgle gave me this stupid flu (mumble, mumble *curses*)

[MadJackMcJack]

Good stuff. But what tune is that Gav song to? Can't quite place it.

[bonjordo]

yeah. or maybe it is free verse poetry?

[Novelizer]

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer!