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This list will form the core of a bigger army that I'm now planning on collecting. It's Valhallan but I'm using the standard army list without any doctrines. This army will be high in fluff but I'm flexible as I want this army to actually present some form of challenge in a game, if not win a good number of its battles.
26th Valhallan, Third Company
Command Squad: Heroic Senior Officer w/ bolt pistol and power sword and Medallion Crimson. Medic. Standard Bearer. GL. Lasgun.
Stormtroopers: Veteran Sergeant w/ bolt pistol and power sword. Melta. 8 standard. Squad has Deep Strike.
First Platoon, Command Squad: JO w/ bolt pistol and power sword. Medic. Heavy bolter. GL.
First Platoon, Alpha Squad: Vet Sgt w/ storm bolter. GL. ML.
First Platoon, Bravo Squad: Vet Sgt w/ bolt pistol and power sword. Flamer.
Second Platoon, Command: JO w/ bolt pistol and power sword. Autocannon. Medic.
Second Platoon, Charlie: Standard squad. No upgrades.
Second Platoon, Delta: ML, GL. 8 standard.
Leman Russ w/ lascannon and side heavy bolters.
Nice to see a fluffy list but there are a few problems here. Lets have a look...
The command squad is pretty good. Im guessing the medallion crimson is for fluff and so is the medic. Personally id drop te medic as it wont be being used and is therefore just tying up much needed points. The grenade launcher seems like a fairly bad choice aswell. What id start off with is changing the grenade launcher for a mortar. Id also get rid of the medic and the medal. Obviously these could be kept if there is a fluff specific reason.
The storm troopers. Firstly you have only one weapon in there. they would work best with two. The squad leader would be better of being a normal leader and not a vet. The powersword is not needed. If you are taking meltas thats a tank hunting unit so you wont be doing any combat. The squad is a little large for deepstriking. If you droip it down to five men and get an extra melta it will be far more effective. However if you are deepstriking a unit with meltas you might just as well go for vets as they are cheaper and can have a third special weapon.
The first infantry platoon. The command squad is way too overpowered strip it of everything. In fact strip down both platoons of all weapons and extras as they are both a bit haphazard and have a lot of innefficiencies. thats 81 points for the first platoon and 64 for the second squad. now one of the areas you went wrong was their command squads. Again the medics are not needed they wont get used at all. Next the command squad is all beefed out for no reason. There is a squad languishing with no weapons int he second platoon whilst the first caommand squad is overfilled. Right add these points together and go from there. thats 145 points to play with. First a heavy weapon for each squad say two with missile and greande and the other two with heavy bolters and grenade (plasma is also a good choice but most fluff players avoid it.) so thats 82 points gone leaving 63 points. now take the first command squad and give it two flamers (fluffy and useful) take the second and give it back its autocannon. This leaves 36 points spare. So bolt pistols and power swords and go back in thats another 12 points. The other 24 could be used a little more creatively say for taking a heavy bolter squad and doing your vet sarge with stormbolter thing (complimentary weapons) thatd be another 11 points leaving 13 which could be spent on more vet sarges (though that isnt needed.) along with the savings form the stormies consider getting a remnants squad. They are always fun and fluffy. they can be used as scouts effectively. give them mobile wepaonary vet sarge with stormbolter could actually lead this squad instead and then gove it say the company's only plamsa weapon. there instant fluff. a slightly better squad that isnt quite veterans!
As for the tanks the hellhound is good though im not sure about the russ. Don't get me wrong it looks good here but consider a different option. Another hellhound would leave you points for something else. A bit of tweaking could get you an anti tank squad for example. (5 vets with lascannon) At least consider dropping its lascannon for a heavy bolter as this would fit the valhallan style theme better and also is more effective.
Hope that little lot helps, im a bit rusty with the rules at the mo but i think i got it all right!