How To Write Like A W*nker.

**Mortified Penguin** · April 16th, 2004 06:22

You do realize now that iI will have to commit this to memory(yes, now I cant fit in during on-line games, no more noob[n00b?] staus for me).

Oh and I do believe that a bravo is in order for your literary masterpeice.

P.S. I would like to know if you aprove of my non-w*nker typing abilities.

**The Fifth Horseman** · May 21st, 2004 10:22

Well, it sometimes takes a lot effort from a person to write properly, even on the computer (you don't want to know what my handwriting looks like).

On other hand, there are a lot of people who just cant stand something going not their way.

[A story - but real!]
Once ago, on the Epic Playtest board there was this newbie, or to use proper term for his stupidity and behaviour, a complete n00b.

His first post was entitled "Rules for necrrons hellp" and its content was total rubbish - he did not use grammar, no spelling, no caps, no interpunction. Pretty much he performed exactly as Phobos instructed.

Then he posted a topic that was IP infrigement... and this is on GW's own forum!!!
What it was exactly was that he posted "His" rules for the Deceiver C'tan... but he did not care that the forum was for Epic, which uses a completely different stat set... he posted 40k statline... 100% identical with one printed in Codex:Necrons. I told him that these mean for Epic players as much as junk. He had the nerve to reply that his stats actually tell what's the Deceiver's BS asn Attacks... I told him again, this is for Epic, and the stats are in 40k format, plus he got onto GW's IP... the sucker first tried to flame a polite thread on a fan Necron list that I was working on (telling that it is not his post that is worthless but the rather active thread that is) and then started a topic entiled "who hates the puffta pony man" (by which he meant me)... and again no spelling, caps, nothing. I just contacted the moderators, since it looked like he was completely irreformable, and they ended his existence there in no time.

**Ghost22** · June 3rd, 2004 14:26

Wow! I couldn't have put that better myself, usually I am quite literate but I must admit that I too have done most of those things. :huh:

But hopefully I won't make an ass of myself on this site by doing something as stupid as that! :lol:

**ralhowl** · June 3rd, 2004 14:31

if you whant some for of gide lines look at some of my old posts

no i am not puting up a link becuse i can be a$$ to

**the_ultramarine** · July 26th, 2004 05:00

My friend, what you say is absolutley brilliant. Even though I occasionally do what you've explained(I'm trying to fix that), and the 5th horse man: you get a standing ovation from me

**Lord Matt of Chaos** · July 30th, 2004 02:19

This is good, it reminds me of the rules of rock that Buddyhead put up a while back.

On a side yet related note, i received a cheque as payment at work yesterday and the payee asked me to write it for him as he couldn't write. And the guy had two kids.

On a side yet more related note, i recently played a game of WHFB against someone who couldn't read properly, which was a truly bizarre experience. How do they learn the rules? How do they write army lists?

I was of course, soundly thrashed.

**mojo jojo** · September 28th, 2004 21:24

ha ha that was a really great read , but i dont know what to write like , like a WANKER !!!!! or a .......non-w*nker .

**Old_Smu66ler** · November 28th, 2004 11:57

Wow, I really see a point there. This could have a lot of effect on my future posting or at least I hope... I have a habit of writting like that from IRC and until now I didn't realise it was bad.

Great text. (Y)

**DavidWC09** · December 27th, 2004 05:11

Originally posted by the_fifth_horseman@May 21 2004, 04:22
Well, it sometimes takes a lot effort from a person to write properly, even on the computer (you don't want to know what my handwriting looks like).

[snapback]156625[/snapback]

I know that I'm coming to this conversation late, but this entry is the most entertaining one I've read since I joined this forum. As an English teacher, I confess a sort of prudery when it comes to language, but the article makes it point so well and does so by lampooning all the typical errors. Heck, you don't have to write like a professor, but standardized communication makes communicating so much easier.

As for fifth horseman's quote, he's right, writing properly is hard, until you get used to it. But stop and think for a moment, everyone on here is smart enough to figure out these really complicated games, read the rulebooks, and argue points. So everyone's certainly more than smart enough to type correctly and doing so make things a heck of a lot easier.

Anyhow, the article was hilarious and the forum's are great. And since I'm accustomed to deciphering the essays of 13-year-olds, I don't mind the errors too much.