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Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.
Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.
Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.
Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.
Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."
"Well... that hurt" - Vampire Jon Skellan (Mannfred's right hand man) after being beaten up, falling down an underground waterfall and being impaled by a stalactite.
when i read the first joke it mearly amused me then I read the next, and it put a smile on my face, next make me chuckle a bit and from then i just couldn't stop, then the final one put the icing on the cake, and i nearly fell off my chair!!!!!
MEGA LOL to those
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Not heard the 6th one before, ace
The last one is awesome, haha.