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I think we need to dedicate a place for jokes and funny stories. Much easier now to find it if we wont some fun
First story I just found is this one:
Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.
"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"
As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".
"Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."
The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"
"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."
Mike and Bob had just finished the first nine holes in their round of golf, and it was obvious that Mike was having an awful day.
"Gee Mike, you're just not your old self today. What's the matter?" asked Bob.
Mike, looking pretty glum, said, "I think Connie's dead."
"My God! That's terrible," said Bob, "but you said you only THINK your wife is dead. Aren't you sure?"
"Well, I just don't know" responded Mike, "the sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up."
and the last one..
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for 1 year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me 3 times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"$80 per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.
"Well 80 bucks a visit 3 times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money I went and bought me a new pickup!"
"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"
more at http://jokesbee.com/
Last edited by Blackhat; April 3rd, 2007 at 13:39.
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