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The LOO News #1
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>The Librarium Online Outdated News
From A bored dominatrix with nothing better to do! Bringing news from the country for a worldwide site!?! Absolutely pointless! </span>
*This post may contain offensive material that is not directed towards any specific person. Please just take it all in light humour or just donâ€™t read it!
Anti-Tee Protestors! Wombats Are Our Friends!
World Wombat federation (W.W.Fâ€¦nothing to do with wrestling OR the world wildlife federationâ€¦the wombat is higher than the animal kingdom, although they can wrestle) members have protested against the sale of the Librarium Online T-shirtâ€™s objecting against the use of wombat labour to create the tees.
One protestor explains the situation â€œThese wombats are kept in MasterBelialâ€™s bedroom cabinet draw and are made to work nine till five a week, poorly paid with a low pension premium. Their work includes not only making, delivering and stocking these T-shirts but also to fend for the personal hygiene needs of MasterBelialâ€¦this is disgusting and inhumane!â€?
Last Monday one of the W.W.F dressed up in a purple wombat costume began hanging himself with one of the t-shirts on a virtual digital camera conference in front of confused Librarium Online members. However the demonstration went terribly wrong as the protestorâ€™s children began to help him to hang himself believing it was Barney The Purple Dinosaurâ€¦currently the purple wombat is still attempting to get down and you can view him on video conference 12 (ask Vindy/Pulan for details).
Spelling Terrorist Sponsored By Microsoft Word!
Accused poor spellers on Librarium Online are to have their appeal sponsored by Microsoft Word.
This startling announcement by Microsoft coincides with the launch of the Microsoft Word "my monkey can spell better than you" package, which has been specially made for the American market. According to the company the package will contain abc flash cards and a state of the art disciplinary method from which each spelling error a standard bolt of electricity is sent to the authors brain.
Commenting on the sponsorship deal, Microsoft spokesperson, Oli Smarm, told reporters, "We have decided to support this disability in our attempt to relieve the sufferers (the readers). We will use all our endeavours to make this so. Through this we are hoping to widen our audience of customers and will also shortly be releasing our launch of the Windows 'Jihad XP' edition. It will also, hopefully, make us a lot of money, so we can employ even more cheap labour.â€?
Giant Virtual Green Dragon Spotted On LO!
Recently a large green virtual dragoon has been spotted roaming around the Librarium boards.
It is believed that this dragon has escaped from the new rpg game Legend OF The Green Dragon. Frustrated game fans have been attempting to hunt down the fire breathing beast to much dismay as the Dragon escaped onto the Librarium online message board, leaving all his fans to kill each other.
Apparently The Green Dragonâ€™s favourite board is the creative corner where he spends hours reading all the works of literature and making far-off comments on the sketches and drawings. In fact Green Dragon will soon be releasing his latest novel entitled â€œChicken Soup For A Green Dragonâ€?.
Webmaster Blackhat comments, â€œGreen Dragon has really opened his eyes to a new future. Instead of spending a life of tormenting and destroying dragon slayers he has opted for a life of literacy and art. We here at Librarium Online offer all our support to his new life and I am even considering making him a new moderator.â€?
Toastee Says Yes To Discount Toasters!
Get toasted this summer with Toastee as ToastedRUs now offers half price on all kitchen toasters and other cooking appliances.
Crumpets, toast and other half cooked treats can now be delightedly cooked in almost half of the price. Beloved Librarium online Member and Moderator Toastee comments that heâ€™s delighted at the new sale and will no doubt be spending all of his pay packet adding to his collection of novelty Toasters.
Toastee already holds the largest collection of toasting appliances in the world. â€œMy most prized toaster is the â€˜bread on the stick over half dead fireâ€™, which these days the whole set of stick and fire has been calculated at around $1,000,000â€? exclaims a very happy Toastee.
ToastedRUs sale ends at the end of May, so for all you toasting fans you better get a move on and donâ€™t miss out!
Wow! Thanks sis, that got to be one of the funnest things I've read for a while. That even beats the fact I heard that women play this game... wait they do?! :o :blink:
lady..you scare and amuse (more scare)me...
im sure we could think of something for a bored dominatrix to do hehe
Station:in all the world of the drow there is no more important word.It is the calling of their-of our-religion,.ambition overrides good sense and compassion is thrown away in its face, all in the name of the spider queen.
Very nice mel.
Anything with wombats and you know i'll like it
BEWARE THE WOMBAT REVOLUTION. ON MY FURRY COMRADES, VICTORY OR SPANKING
<span style='color:red'>"Right lads, lets make a tactical advance to the rear of our posistion"
"Errr do you mean run away?"
"Thats the one"</span>
"Oh man, look at that."
"Over there, by that river of boiling souls."
"Well I'll be damned... it's a Starbucks."
<a href='http://www.freewebs.com/ravensdark/' target='_blank'>THE SOUL REAVERS</a>
<a href='http://www.freewebs.com/gaeisia/index.htm' target='_blank'>GAESIA</a>
They work nine til' five? Christ, thats better hours than I have! MatserBelial better get his act together and tell (bribe or threaten) those Wombats to work harder cause I want to order LO t-shirt already. Better pick-up one of those "my monkey can spell better than you" packages while I'm at it. Or I can just get a Monkey. Yes, thats it. I'll call him Mojo....
And if you're out there reading this, Green Dragon, you better know that I'm coming for you...
Thanks Sis, what would we do without your news updates.
That was very informative. But nothing in there about green skinz, just green dragons...What gives?
"Da Orks is da best cuz we ar ded ard an killy, mean, green, krumpin machines, hav da most dakka, da stompiest dreads, da shootiest gunz, da biggest bosses, an we uze choppas...WAAAGH!"
less hate more kittens
im just anoyed that were not alowed toeat wombat. u can get most native animals in pies from the local pie shop.
Ozey Ozey Ozey OY OY OY
<img src='http://www3.telus.net/naran/blackadder/images/BA1adder.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>From now on i shell be known as the black vegetable</span>
LMAO!!!! were you bored or something?
LMAO. This should be a regular thing sis, say once a month, please?
My Blog: http://thepaintingpauper.blogspot.com
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