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  1. #1
    Member Marmite's Avatar
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    Questions and ansmwers

    owwww I saw this , And got me thinking , I bet there must be plenty of great questions and answers out there , have you lot got any?

    Some People clearly have to much time on there hands :]
    Q. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood>?


    Woodchucks Chucking Wood
    I think that the woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted! By the way what is a wood chuck? Is it like a gopher? This is difficult to question answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.
    Some say it depends on three factors:
    The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.
    The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.
    The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
    Others say:
    He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
    If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
    A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
    A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
    If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
    If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
    It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
    One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
    It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
    Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
    It depends on how good his dentures are!
    A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.
    About 5.72 fluid litres of wood
    About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.
    Um....... 23????
    Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.
    If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.
    Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.
    Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.
    How Chuck Norris got involve: A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.
    None cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood!
    Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.
    2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?
    About 15 pounds a minute.
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    I see Tyranids more as bad karma for 40thousand years of stomping on bugs,

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  3. #2
    Senior Member eatmydarkapostle's Avatar
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    <lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
    <lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
    <lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
    If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
    <lib1790>As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
    <lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
    <lib1790>So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
    <liv1790>Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
    <lib1790>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
    <lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit

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