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1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Blackhat's new blog network for terrain crafters!
great post :lol: :lol: :lol:
wWWwwAaaaAAgggGGGhHHHhhh!!!! = DeAth
good find blackhat
"There is no middle ground. Strike Hard, strike fast and strike first."
It is because of people like those I say we have to many safety laws. Let nature take its course and clean out the gene pool.
Very good post.
The fire's going out...pass me another heretic.
Thanks for the tidbits, very funny!
:lol: ha ha ha ha the one with guy holding up a bank with his finger is great!
Tact is for people who give a damn. I'm not one of those people.
you forgot the all time classic:
Tech Support:"hello this is blah blah"
Person:"im havin trouble wiht my computer"
TS: whats the problem?
P:well the screen is black and there arent any lights or sounds comin from the comp.
TS:Is it plugged in properly? Look on the back of the comp <etc etc>
P:well i cant see all too well ya see my whole neighborhood is blacked out right now.
TS:Well put the comp back in the box and send it to us because you are obviously too F***IN stupid to use one!
needless to say he lost his job but i bet he felt just a little better for a while
<img src='http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/the_bride.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
are those really real? they seem a little to stupid to be human. here's one more though
computer: go to My Computer
anomynous: as if i wasn't already at my computer! DUH!
give me 1000 men crazy enough to conquer hell, and we will do it
consider the predator
let your soul be armoured with faith driven on the tracks of
obdience which will overcome all obstacles
and armed with the great guns of zeal, duty, and purity
I myself have had experience with the computer blackout scenario, but I just hung up on the idiot.Originally posted by the_ultramarine@Oct 18 2004, 11:47
are those really real? they seem a little to stupid to be human. here's one more though[snapback]231944[/snapback]
Greetings from Planet X, I hope you enjoy your day.
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