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  1. #1
    LO Zealot Bawdymonkey's Avatar
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    So instead of studying for my finals I went to see the movie Alexander the Great. It was a terrible movie that dragged on for a titanic three hours. Where is the old Oliver Stone? The two battle scenes were fantastic but could not redeem even a fraction of the rest. And it was so mind numbingly boring. They have the great Anthony Hopkins yet they relegate him to narrating - which for the most part is just montage sequence. And the flashback to his King Philip's death disrupts the entire continuity. They make a huge deal about his sexuality yet I care not a fiddle and it only takes away from the story. Two points on the sexuality on this movie: his bisexuality shown in soft focus longing gazes and deep embraces which are a bit over the top in terms of emotion. But the explicit sex scene is done with a women. Alexander's life is not about his sexuality and this was distracting, but not given enough to be interesting. And then Mr. Stone decides to change his death because it does not fit with the story he is trying to tell.

    The real Alexander was much more interesting than this and thats why its frustrating. It was better than Troy but that is certainly not saying much (I only really liked the guy who played Hector and King Priam). At many points I could think of tiny things that would make it immensely better. One idea I thought of was making the movie from the viewpoint of Ptolemy (whom Hopkins plays fourty years after the story). It would have worked just as Ibn Fahland following "Beowulf" in the 13th Warrior (Eaters of the Dead for you Crichton fans). Or they could have made it an adventure movie. Here's hoping they don't screw up Hannibal as badly.

    Anyone else see it?

    “Cry ‘Havoc’ and let slip the dogs of war!? - Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene I

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  3. #2
    Lord of the Household BobaHat's Avatar
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    I totally agree... Being a student of history at Århus University and a life-long lover of ancient history, I was really looking forward to finally seeing an epic film about the greatest conqueror of all time. I was looking forward to seeing him unite Greece and conquer Asia and the Middle-East..

    But what did we get? A story about a spoiled brat who spend two-thirds of the film gazing into the eyes of his gay lover...

    I have absolutely nothing against homosexuality, nor do I deny the fact that Alexander, like so many other Greeks at the time, had strong feelings and sexual relationships with men but it dominates almost the entire film!

    A movie about Alexander the Great should include epic battle scenes and should focus on his drive for power, his charisma and how he could overtake such a huge area so quickly and at such a young age.

    There were so many holes in the film. For example, it is interesting how he seems to love his mother and hate his father in the beginning of the film, and then it suddenly switches to fear and loathing of his mother and admiration and love of his father with no apparent explanation.

    Also, the storytelling was terrible. I went to see it with my girlfriend and she told me that if I hadn't told her about Alexander the Great before we saw the movie she wouldn't have even realised that he raised an army and launched an attack on Persia. How would she? It is only quickly mentioned as a foot note by Anthony Hopkins...

    It is a dull, boring movie with no respect what so ever for the unsurpassed conqueror that was Alexander the Great.

    Don't waste your time and money... I'm sure sad that I did... :glare:
    "We're the Death Korp of Krieg, son. Did you think that was just a pretty name? We never retreat. We fight and we die, that's the Krieg way."
    -Lieutenant Konarski at the Battle of Erebus


  4. #3
    Member GooseOfMercy's Avatar
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    Same as above. Worst movie I've seen in three years.

    The real problem with the movie was the dialogue. It was like Oliver Stone farting in my ears. The acting was pretty good, but with the sub par dialogue and how the story fit together (plot?), it made everything look like crap.

    I didn't even get to enjoy the damn battles cause of all the shaking of the camera. I was getting a headache from it and actually had to turn away from the screen. I know that everyone was seeing a shaky picture, but just give me something smooth to watch, thanks.

    Go see the History Channel special on him, its free, more entertaining, and more educating.

    Also, I thought Troy was much better and in many respects more historically true (even though a lot of Troy wasn't).
    <a href='http://www.desolatez.com' target='_blank'><img src='http://img73.exs.cx/img73/9417/g4vlogobanner1.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' /></a>
    We get orgasms cause thats 30 whole seconds god doesn&#39;t have to listen to us bitch.
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  5. #4
    Senior Member Colonel_Kraken's Avatar
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    There&#39;s a Hannibal movie coming too? Oh no...
    Hannibal, whatever will they do to your reputation of bloodbaths, magnificent victories and strategic marriages? (the sacking of rome will probably be turned into a "meet the parents" episode)

    Alexander the not-quite-so-great, and Brad Pitt&#39;s stand in legs for the role of Akilles. Swords and sandal movies do tend to be suffering don&#39;t they?
    Frankly Troy would have been better is they had just toned down the akilles-whatshername affair and had them all wearing and wielding BRONZE&#33;
    I kill two dwarves in the morning, I kill two dwarves at night. I kill two dwarves in the afternoon, and then I feel allright. I kill two dwarves in time of peace, and two in time of war. I kill two dwarves before I kill two dwarves, and then I kill two more.

    Goblin kroozade of revengyness: win:19 draw:10 loss:9

  6. #5
    LO Zealot Bawdymonkey's Avatar
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    Vin Diesel is to play Hannibal. Talk about miscast...
    “Cry ‘Havoc’ and let slip the dogs of war!? - Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene I

  7. #6
    Lord of the Household BobaHat's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Bawdymonkey@Dec 9 2004, 00:14
    Vin Diesel is to play Hannibal. Talk about miscast...
    [snapback]269448[/snapback]
    PLEASE tell me this is a joke&#33; PLEASE&#33;&#33;&#33; :o
    "We're the Death Korp of Krieg, son. Did you think that was just a pretty name? We never retreat. We fight and we die, that's the Krieg way."
    -Lieutenant Konarski at the Battle of Erebus


  8. #7
    LO Zealot Bawdymonkey's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BobaHat@Dec 8 2004, 17:17
    PLEASE tell me this is a joke&#33; PLEASE&#33;&#33;&#33; :o
    [snapback]269450[/snapback]
    May God have mercy on us all. Here is the IMDB (Hannibal link).
    “Cry ‘Havoc’ and let slip the dogs of war!? - Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene I

  9. #8
    Senior Member Colonel_Kraken's Avatar
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    Yay&#33;
    Hannibal will have lots of cool tattoos, drive exopnsive and flashy bikes/cars, get lots of chicks, rave party and have eyes that see in the dark&#33; awesome&#33;




    or not...
    I kill two dwarves in the morning, I kill two dwarves at night. I kill two dwarves in the afternoon, and then I feel allright. I kill two dwarves in time of peace, and two in time of war. I kill two dwarves before I kill two dwarves, and then I kill two more.

    Goblin kroozade of revengyness: win:19 draw:10 loss:9

  10. #9
    Lord of the Household BobaHat's Avatar
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    Well, he had better learn to get rid of that lame American accent... :glare:
    I still can&#39;t get over the fact that Alexander the Great spoke IRISH&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;
    "We're the Death Korp of Krieg, son. Did you think that was just a pretty name? We never retreat. We fight and we die, that's the Krieg way."
    -Lieutenant Konarski at the Battle of Erebus


  11. #10
    Senior Member kerpal_g's Avatar
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    Wow, I guess I won&#39;t be seeing Alexander then. Thanks. You should see Team America: World Police. Hella funny. (Y)
    R U 0K!??!? BUHHHHST WUUUULFFFFF!!!

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