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Thread: Something funny

  1. #1
    Senior Member Joker's Avatar
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    Something funny

    I have been watching Saturday night live for years.

    For those of you that are unfamiliar with the show it is a weekly comedy show performed live in NY city most saturday nights (other saturday nights they show reruns).

    Anyway, they used to have a small cut in clip narrated by Will Farrell that would scroll up some text message with a peaceful serene backdrop and some equally serene music playing softly in the background. The piece was called "'Deep Thoughts', by Jack Handy".

    It wasn't always hilarious; but 9 times out of ten it was.

    Here are some examples:

    'I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they would never expect it!'

    'If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes the beer shoot out of your nose!'

    'Anytime I see something screech across the room and latch itself onto someone's neck, and the guy screams, and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because, what IS that thing?'

    'When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said "I like mayonaisse." She just stared at me so I said it again, Louder. Then she left. I guess she went to find some mayonaisse for me.'

    'The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.'

    'If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say!'

    'If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time for no good reason!'

    That's just a small sampling. The show has been running for years and has collected quite a large number of these inane but mostly funny ramblings.

    I was web surfing recently and found a website that collected them all. So if you are interested in reading more here it is:

    http://www.firekite.com/?c=jack

    Have fun with them and repost your favorites if you want.

    :cool:


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  3. #2
    Senior Member Senigar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joker
    'I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they would never expect it!'

    'Anytime I see something screech across the room and latch itself onto someone's neck, and the guy screams, and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because, what IS that thing?'


    :cool:
    Lol those are hilarious

    Space Wolves- 4,000 pts
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  4. #3
    Consumate professional Sir Theobold the Lame's Avatar
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    we dont really get Saturday Night Live over her, but i love will ferrell and ive seen some on a best of DVD- i partiucularly liked the Robert Gulet sketch, the old prospector and the astronomer guy lol
    PLAN CLAN MAN!!

    He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man- S. Johnson

  5. #4
    Back in action! Lord Yossanrion's Avatar
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    Those are great Joker!

    Here are some of my fav's from David Letterman

    "Based on what you know of Abe Linkin, If he were alive today would he a) be advising the current president, b) writing his biography, c) clawing desperatley at the inside of his coffin."

    "People say New Yorkers don't get along. Not True. Just the other night I saw two of them sharing a cab. One was taking the radio, and the other was taking the enigne."

    Gotta love those lines

    Cheers!
    Yossanrion
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    Final Fantasy!

  6. #5
    Senior Member Joker's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Lord Yossanrion]
    "Based on what you know of Abe Linkin, If he were alive today would he a) be advising the current president, b) writing his biography, c) clawing desperatley at the inside of his coffin."

    "People say New Yorkers don't get along. Not True. Just the other night I saw two of them sharing a cab. One was taking the radio, and the other was taking the enigne."

    [QUOTE]

    LMAO

    Those are pretty damn funny!

    I wonder if there's a website with all of Dave's top ten lists?

    :lol:

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    Looking for a compliment here is like looking for a girlfriend in a cemetary. You know you probably won't like what you dig up, but you'll take it anyway.


  8. #7
    I AM CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER bonjordo's Avatar
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    the mayonaise one is particually funny

  9. #8
    Senior Member THE Hersh's Avatar
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    Hold the phone. Joker, are you saying that Jack Handy was Will Farrell?!?!? I used to watch that all the time until it started getting stupid, (hold on that's what my dad always said, AAAAHHHHH, I SOUND LIKE MY FATHER). Oh well, sucks to be me.
    A little pain never hurt anyone - Larry

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