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OK...I gotta guy who I work with that got engaged to a local national (Egyptian). He's 45 & she 20 something. He's desparately in love and extended his military assignment in Egypt for another year because of her and plans on getting married in July or August of this year. So far he's splashed out over $12,000 on her and is looking into a mortgage to buy a house here in Egypt. The problem is that she is a major player. She's been seeing at least two other guys (absolutely certain about this) behind his back and for her last trick told him that she had to travel to Germany for training but instead she went back to the states with another bloke (one of the guys she been seeing behind his back) for two weeks. Here's the dilemma...do I:
A. Say nothing and let him continue his blissfully ignorant existance with this girl who obviously just see's him as a sugar daddy and a one way ticket out of the urban squalor that is Cairo Egypt or...
B. Tell him something he doesn't want to hear, probably won't believe, and earn his eternal anymosity with a clear conscience?
The guy's 45 years old for God's sake & is old enough to make his own mistakes in life. On the other hand I would want to know if I were him so I can make my own informed judgement on the situation. Any advice wold be appreciated. I have 19 days to go before I leave this country and miss any opportunity to intervene.
I hear voices...and they don't like you!
Write an annonymous letter?
The letter sounds good.....you dont want to risk your friendship with this chap, however there is a chance that he may not warm to an annonymous letter and may dissmiss it. Then your gonna have trouble convincing him that you did it with the best of intentions if you have to admit to it to try to convince him. Six of one and all that.....
A Rhino? SLOTH!
Well, thats just bad advice.Originally Posted by Harbish
Personally, you should just tell him what you know. If he dosnt believe you then thats his problem. However when you do speak to him, you dont want to do it half assed. Make sure you have any evidence you need there, if there are any other people who know about the cheating also let them be there to back you up.
Its better for him to know the truth and be hurt now, than be hurt later.
Poor guy, I don't understand why some men do that.
I don't think the anon. letter is all that bad. But confronting him is better, if you have the courage.
If you don't then the letter could be something like:
I do not want to hurt or upset you, but writing this letter I know it cannot be avoided. I am very sorry but I feel I have to tell you that the egyptian girl you are dating is cheating on you. She has been cheating on you with many guys and it's in my opinion that she will not change, at least not if she's not confronted about this issue.
I wrote this because I wanted to help reduce any long term pain, because I know this must be really hurting you right now. It is up to you to decide how to respond to this.
Otherwise you could say something similar to his face. "She's cheating on you mate, she's not the one for you."
Sorry Wookie mate, but TBH this is not the thread LO needs. Asking about life issues such as this will lead to many [sarc]great[/sarc] replies for members, not saying all will do as much but the point remains.
I'd say tell him, or try to get him in a position that he can't but see it for himself. If he doesn't believe you or his own eyes then he's beyond help.
But that being said, I'm afraid the thread must be locked. I'm sure the odd member who is better at give the advice you seek may help, if not... sorry.