Stupid Product Warnings - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sister_mel's Avatar
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    REAL product warnings:


    On a lawnmower I had was a big label which read:
    "WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"
    We once bought a grocery store pizza and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!
    Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice…
    Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."
    On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
    On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
    On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.
    On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
    Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.
    This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"
    This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."
    On a box of Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
    On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."
    Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
    On Golf carts ‘warning: not for motor-way use.
    On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."
    I came upon a bottle of children's cough medicine stating "Caution: May cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery"
    On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."
    There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."
    I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"


    Found any others??


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  3. #2
    Lord of the Household BobaHat's Avatar
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    LOL

    I also saw one on a small buggy that was used in the Kibbutz I worked in when I was in Israel last year:

    'Windscreen does not protect face from golf balls or other flying objects!'



    This one is also great. My mate bought a Nintendo game cube and the warning label said:

    'Warning: Do not drop on head of children or animals. May cause injury!'

    hehe...
    "We're the Death Korp of Krieg, son. Did you think that was just a pretty name? We never retreat. We fight and we die, that's the Krieg way."
    -Lieutenant Konarski at the Battle of Erebus


  4. #3
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    what about this one i found on a pizza box:

    remove plastics before eating :blink: :blink:

  5. #4
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    See this Fist of the North Star 'Violence Action Figure':

  6. #5
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    on a box of penuts

    May contain nut traces
    <img src="http://bunnysnoog.cyborgcow.net/henry4.gif"
    align=left><a href="http://bunnysnoog.cyborgcow.net/index.html">
    I adopted a cute lil' pilgrim fetus
    from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! </a>

  7. #6
    Member Nostrafus's Avatar
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    Well let's see...

    Car Windshield Shade: Do operate vehicle while shade is in place.
    Bottle of Mildew Remover: Use in a well ventilated area. (Think about this one for a minute)
    My Stungun Case: Please discharge 1-2 over metal object to not be injured. (Word for word)
    My Woman's Mace Can: When attacked, hold head away, and close eyes and mouth, point away, and push nozzle down, don't breathe.

    Now my question is, if you've gotta use it, and you're not looking, what if you accidentally miss, or spray yourself ?

    I can understand the not breathing, because the can I got her a very potent can of Mace, it also contains CS gas, which will make you puke your guts out if you get too big of a wiff of it, as well as burn your lungs for a few days.
    You can't move the furniture anymore
    And I'm not gonna trip and fall
    Going for the door

    Fuzz - Helen Keller

  8. #7
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    How about these:
    Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only
    On a Japanese blender: Not to be used for the other use
    On a package of Delta airline peanuts:
    Step 1: Open Package
    Step 2: Eat Nuts
    Si em, tow en can de lach.
    Tak! Tak! Tak ah wan, Tak a lah!
    Mi tow, can de lach.
    Mi him, en tow.

  9. #8
    Senior Member XV-88's Avatar
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    On a package of sprite bombs (little blue explosives):


    Instructions (good)

    1, Do not throw at the man
    2, To be throwned and the gound hard only please. Not to wall.
    3, A product of North Korea, thank you.
    Henceforth no man shall set foot upon the world, and all around shall be set sentinals to ward away unwary spacecraft. We must accept that this place is lost to us forever, and is now the eternal habitation of abomination.

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>another annoying thing i hate: 47,000 similies in one post. just thoght id throw that in there and see if anybody else hates it as much as i do.</div>

  10. #9
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    Do not use in shower or bath.-On a hairdryer.

  11. #10
    Bearded Ninja Arklite's Avatar
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    heres one i saw on a ice cream tub

    see inside lid for mystery prize

    congratulations you have won this tub of goop


    spambot kill tally: 79


    [16:19] <@Alzer> Arky's right though
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> I know he is.
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> He usually is.
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> Sometimes it's intentional.
    ----
    [00:01] <+zubus> i love you, ya skirt wearin nothern monkey! ^_^

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