Welcome to Librarium Online!
Ok first off, I'm not in here often as I don't feel I bear the capacity to deal with much here but I do occasionally glance through it. This is why I'm putting this here. Just be gentle.
Ok. So what do you all think of meeting others of the net? By this I mean in all ways, shapes and forms; be it for dating/love, friendship or something else. Do you think it's a good idea? There are many stories going about the dangers of online meeting - I in no way intend to up end them - and they are there for a good reason. Because there are many sick people in this world and they will, can and have done many sick things to others under false pretenses. But is it all that bad? I don't mean these people but the rest. Have you ever met anyone you speak to online? I have, a number of times in fact, and I am yet to have a problem. I know there are many great people online and I do enjoy to get the chance to put a face/voice to the writing and just seeing if they are in fact how they are in the flesh.
Now, I'm not that much of a peoples person; I'm more private and don't do well amost the hordes but online I act differently and speak how I will as people don't know me. But in real life I am quite to opposite. I don't know how I come across to many but I do like to meet people and I've felt that by knowing them online better I get an idea of them and we get along better than me just getting to them otherwise; anyone else get this?
What about other reasons than just friendship? Ever sought a relationship online? Met someone via a dating agency online? Does this cause the most problems? Meeting people for a date or getting to know them online and meeting up, IMO, could be one of the worse hit areas for pedophileas (sp?) or sexual predators. Is it these stories that give this a bad rep? Why is it only ever the bad news appears, when was the last time you heard of a couple living well and happy after meeting online? Or is it that people prefer the connection you get via the in person meetings, maybe these stories put the willies up them and they drop out of something that could potentionally be a relationship.
Note; I'm not in an online relatioship nor am I set for one anytime soon. Neither do I find it a bad way to meet your partner; as long as you tw are happy who cares how you met?
And now my last point/comment/question
What about cybersex? I know many find this a taboo subject (and note we are still bound by LO's rules; so keep it clean) but what do you all make of it? Is it all that bad? I think most people use self pleasure anyway, but what's a little bit of extra sitmulation to actually make it more than just yourself? Is it really viewed as that bad? Both parties are willing and know what they are doing (usually) and you cannot be forced into it, so what business is it of others? Why is it viewed with such disgust? Ask any man over the age of twelve and they'll tell you they masturbate, it is sick? Wrong? Says who? It can be something between two lovers who cannot touch, who's to say that is wrong? they know what the other is like and how they feel they just need to think of it, I see no wrong here. But then.. is phone sex the same? Many regard that as being fine, why not this? Or maybe it's a person who lacks the ability to interact with people in the flesh, maybe they find this as an alternative that is better suited to them.
Ok so this is probably where problems can arise - so to speak - with underage, perverts and the like. When does it go too far? If it gets too much, can it easily be stopped?
I don't have anything against cybersex, and I will not say whether I have partaken in it - that is personal and I don't know you all that well - so to me it is just another way people interact. With the world becoming more and more computerised, is it any surprise that something such as cybering has become popular?
Thank you for reading this, I know lots of questions but little comments - that's me all over folks I thank you all in advance for the replys. But remember.. keep it clean. Or else.
Or else? What do you mean, "Or else"? What are you going to do? Fly across the Atlantic and kick me arse? :tongue:Originally Posted by King Ulrik Flamebeard
I'm all for it as long as its done intelligently. I met my wife through an online dating service. She could make a much better post on here than I. She was very thoughtful about how she went about it.
We exchanged emails, talked on the phone, and finally met, in a public place, of course. After our first meeting, there were no expectations about getting together again or exchanging more information. When it comes to romantic involvements, one does have to be particularly careful because there are nutjobs of every description (and gender) out there.
Would love to write more, but I gots to go.
hmmm so many things to say...
Personally I find cyber offensive (and a bit sad, no offense). It just really makes me angry when I see people messing around like that on chat rooms. If people do it in a private chat then to be honest it wouldn't really bother me. What you do in your own privacy is none of my business and it won't bother me.
Ok about the actual main point...
Yes I think meeting people online is a good thing. True they're many stories but of course only the bad ones get into the news, bad news sells.
Online, I'm a bit more confident and am far more likely to stand up for my beliefs. I'm also a bit more honest.
I would like to meet some of the people I speak to online (in fact I think I have met some). I think some of the bad rep people who have met online meeting up in real life does put people off. People are quite rightly cautious because the person they speak to might not be what that person is really like. But I think it's a shame that some people may be missing out because of the bad rep that has been generated by all these horror stories.
P.S. I'm 18 and never masturbated. So you're point is not true Ha Ha!
Heyla Kuffy. Good to see you in here; I canâ€™t recall having come across any posts by you in the Enhanced Membersâ€™ section before, so welcome.I have met a lot of my now real-life friends through the internet. Likely this is due to a combination of me having a tendency towards being introvert and shy around strangers in real life and a lack of people sharing my somewhat peculiar interests, such as Warhammer. In real life I donâ€™t meet new people very often, being busy with my school and job and usually just seeing the same familiar faces every day, but online I can get in touch with people from all over the world, vastly increasing my chances of finding someone I can share my interests with. Such as the people of this forum, whom I would never have met without the internet.Originally Posted by King Ulrik Flamebeard
Personally, I have never had any problems when meeting online friends in real life, although I have always made sure that I felt I knew people well enough to trust them before arranging a meeting. The first time I was invited to a small private Artistsâ€™ Convention in Norway by a fellow artist I had known online for about four years. She was also a good friend of other online acquaintances of mine who had met her and let me know that she was a good and trustworthy person. Nevertheless, it was not without a touch of nervousness that I spent nine hours on a bus to a foreign country to meet a person from the internet who didnâ€™t even speak the same language as myself. I had just turned 18 and it was my first real trip abroad too, so I must admit that I was taking a chance. As it turned out, though, it was the most wonderful experience to actually meet with a bunch of people sharing so many of my interests for art and books and science fiction, and I have returned for the Artistsâ€™ Con every year since. At the Con I was also fortunate enough to meet some other very cool people from Sweden that I hadnâ€™t previously known, but now I am also visiting them several times a year for Warhammer tournaments, artistsâ€™ meet-ups, and simply just to hang out with people that I really enjoy spending time with.
So, in my opinion, meeting friends from the internet can be a great thing if youâ€™re careful and donâ€™t take too many risks. After all, you can also risk meeting a total jerk when going to the local pub or to a private party, so the most important thing is to trust your own judgement and instincts. If you feel uncomfortable in someoneâ€™s presence, then perhaps you should not stick around for long.
As for dating people met online I have never tried it. However, I do know several couples who have met over the internet, including the people that invited me to the Artistsâ€™ Con. I donâ€™t really see a difference between meeting a friend and a potential date over the â€˜net; the same rules apply to both, except perhaps that one should be extra careful when meeting people with the intention of going on a date. It might be that the chemistry between people just isnâ€™t right, and itâ€™s impossible to know until you meet in real life.
As for cybersex, I have never tried it myself and likely never will; at the moment I am committed to my relationship and would consider it a betrayal of my partner to indulge in anything of such an intimate nature with another person. And were I not in a relationship, I would probably find it difficult to allow people I have never met such intimate contact, even if it is through a screen and keyboard. However, what other people do in their bedroom and on their computer is none of my business, as long as no one gets hurt.
"Girls are nice and cuddly on the outside, and freaky on the inside." ~ Lost Nemesis.
First up, a query of cybersex, don't you need both hands to type?
Seriously. When I am online, I tend to be a bit more open than normal. I'm sure that a lot of you know that I have a daughter, some of you may even know how old she is. These are not things that I want anyone to find out who may be able to identify/find me. Not with all the sicko's in the world. I feel that would put my daughter at an unacceptable risk.
With that in mind, I tend not to hook up with people that I have met online, (for any reason, dating, friendship, what have you). If I do, it is because I am with someone who already knows them.
However, I do have a very good friend who met her current girlfriend online and is VERY happy with the results. On the flip side she has had some bad experiences as well, (I thought you said you were a blonde when we chatted last night).
As to cybersex, that one kinda ranks up there with phone sex for me. I don't understand, it, however, I don't condem it.
Last edited by THE Hersh; October 20th, 2005 at 20:29. Reason: typo
A little pain never hurt anyone - Larry
LO is the only place I have ever felt close enough to people online to consider meeting them in real life. I'm not a big chatroom or forum person. I am only a member of LO, the-waaagh.com and the fortean times forum, and I only post regularly on LO. Normally I surf the net in a non-interactive way, finding stuff out and looking at pictures. That and using MSN to keep up with old mates in different cities.
So the only people I have met online before I met them in real life are L-O's onlainari (then called psteve) and bonjordo. I saw steve was at ANU (I study there too) and I told him about the ANU warhammer club, and by the time I got around to going there he was already a regular! I met bonjordo at a tournament coz I knew from LO he would be there and I heard someone call him "Jordan".
*yells across room*
"Hey man, are you bonjordo from LO?"
Now I only need the elusive Lord Yossanrion and I will have the whole Canberra trifecta.
Oh bugger i just realized this is about "meeting people" not meeting people. :blush:
Er, I got together with my current gf before I was a big netizen, so while I've had several relationships I've never had the chance to have a relationship online. Go for it I reckon, just be discriminate like you would be in real life.
Really, all that cybersex talk should have tipped me off...
Though I'm sure that all of these posts have been incredibly awesome, I'm afraid I'm too tired to read them all the way through. *cough*
Anyways, my answer:
I think it's a wonderful idea to meet people online, for both friendship and more. My first serious relationship was over the internet, and it lasted for four years. Many of my best friends, I met over the internet, and I just keep making more.
I find that people are seriously taking things to the level of "don't trust anybody unless they're face to face" .... which is horrible. Every single person I have met online and connected with has turned out to be incredibly wonderful and I've been friends with most of them for years upon years now, and I will be for the rest of my life. I'm planning a roadtrip after high school to go see them all.
I think it's sad that the world has come to the point of an almost incapability to trust what's not right in front of them. Incredibly sad, in fact. My dad's gotten to the point where he doesn't trust an official website or video game, etc. that asks for a credit card, or a FULL NAME even, even though I reassure him that it'd be quite easy to sue, etc. if they started being untrustworthy. I don't blame him for it, I blame society, really.
Just because there are a couple of frauds/bad people on the internet does not mean you should treat everyone/thing like that, which is what it's sadly coming to these days.
I don't like to do that.
In fact, a girl I didn't even know IMed me a few days ago, since we shared a mutual friend, and simply asked me for my phone number. And, after a few minutes of actually talking to her, I gave it to her. The next day after school, she called me, and we chatted for about two or three hours. She's a year/grade younger than me, and we just had fun talking about random things.
Does that make her a serial killer/rapist/whatever? I highly doubt it.
But, that's just me.
edit: Ah, and on to the issue of cybersex/online pornography:
I'm 16. I'm probably a tad bit more mature (usually) than I should be for my age, however, I don't see anything wrong with either of these.
I've been an avid roleplayer for most of my life, and met most of my online friends (and the 4-year girlfriend I mentioned) via roleplay in MSN Chat. When it comes down to it, roleplay involves everything life would involve, except for obviously magical things (fantasy/sci-fi settings/abilities, etc.). This includes sex between two characters, in my book, and I never had anything against it.
As far as the roleplaying goes, anything goes as long as the other person wants their character to do the same, and online you meet a lot of people willing to go that far with a fictional character. I know I've definitely been a lot more open online than I am in real life, and I don't regret it one bit.
Once you get to "cybersex," however, it's a little bit of a different opinion: I just find it hilariously stupid. One, why bother, when I can just roleplay with people who can actually type? Two, there's no plot, it's just mindless "sex." Honestly, the only thing I have in its defense is that it does give a thrill (the first one or two times), and that thrill is doing something nasty and perverted with someone you don't know. Could be anyone, and I generally believe it is someone you think it is and not a nasty 40 year old rapist (back to the trust issue). I admit to having done it, and I don't regret it. It was nice the first couple times, but it's just the same thing over and over and over. Which is why I prefer roleplay in every aspect.
Pornography? I don't see what the big deal is, honestly. Why is it so bad to stop your kids from watching a natural occurence? They aren't more likely to go out and do it. They're just more likely, IMO, to explore themselves, and is that such a bad thing? I highly doubt it. I pity the kids (and teens) who are too sheltered for their own good, and really don't get to experience these things, so they act like they are such a big deal. Nude people aren't a big deal to me, since I am not "sheltered" in the sense. I feel that I'm much more open minded, and viewing pornography on the internet has not hurt me in any way, shape, or form, and most likely never will.
It's all in how you look at it, your trust levels, and how open minded you are, IMO.
Good for you, I would just hope that stories like this would hit the news more often, this would help greatly in improving the image of internet, as it is only a tool, wich can be used to do good and evil. I find that most of the experiences I've been told were safe and succesful, and even a mere handful had some problems, but they were more on the ''weirdness factor'' side of things.Originally Posted by DavidVC04
I haven't met anybody from online in particular, althought I could always suspect I have met some Canadian or American LOers at the various events I went to.
I don't have an issue with the "vanilla" pornography on the Net, (and I don't think many other people do either, excepting those who take issue with porn at any level). What I, and many others, take issue with is some of the less than... "standard" porn. It is all to easy to find some bad mojo out there, (how many of us have been doing some "innocent" surfing and all of a sudden gotten a pop up of some kiddieporn or bestialtiy?). I think it is a little better now, (ie it is easier to avoid this stuff, it's not rammed in your face any more, etc), but, it still happens. That is what bothers me about online porn.Originally Posted by Lost Nemesis
A little pain never hurt anyone - Larry
Some personal history, to put this into perspective.
I have eight ex-girlfriends. Fully half of them were met online. Only one of them I keep in touch with, and that's about once a year when one of us happens to remember to the other's e-mail, and then we catch up.
My first dumped me after I refused to move over 1000 miles to live with her. We had known each other for about a month, a week of which I spent down there with her. She was a bit loony - I believe she was manic-depressive. At points she'd be happy, and in the blink of an eye, she'd be crying about the smallest thing. For example, I once told her that the grass in Oregon was green year round. Just a passing comment, and she took it as the grass in Texas wasn't good enough to suit me.
My second decided she was happier being with women. 'Nough said.
My last online relationship was with a girl who had two dolls. That in itself didn't bother me, but the fact that she treated them like children did. Seriously - if we went ANYWHERE, the dolls would have to come. She had a babycarrier for them in her car. If we took my car, we'd have to find a babysitter. One day her father was "caring" for them, and didn't give them a bath. She flipped out.
But, none of that compares to the one that pulled the knife on me. Things were going great between us. We got along wonderfully, her kids liked me, and we had a lot of fun. One day I came over, but was about 15 minutes late. Next thing I knew, she had a large kitchen knife in her hands, coming at me. I honestly believe she meant to kill me. Only the door stopped her from getting to me. The important part about her? I didn't meet her online. Just a random passing by, and we happened to click.
Moral of the stories? Meeting people online is about as dangerous as meeting people anywhere else. Just because you met them online doesn't mean they're crazy - some people are just plain out of their mind. You just need to know how to judge people without being able to see them face to face first. It's really not much different than your friend setting you up with someone by handing you their phone number.
As for Cybersex - I admit, I've had it. It was fun. I was heavy into Online Roleplay at the time, and we incorporated our cybersex into our character's lives. It's just another outlet of sexual energy, except you have an anonymous partner (usually). I really don't see it any different than reading a dirty novel, except that the novel talks back to you.
Would I do it now? Ofcourse not. I'm happily married, and as Grephaun said, it'd be a breach of that special bond she and I share.