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The other day I smacked a friend of mine in the head. Why? Becasue he was touching a girl who is friend of mine, when she didn't want to be. I asked him not to. He didn't stop. So, I whacked him in the head (not that hard.) I recived three punches to the head, and my head still hurts a little.
I then procded to have an agrument with him. He argued that "She should stand up for herself". I said "Well, she is physically incapable of doing so. I felt I had to protect her."
The girl appreciated it, and I talked to my dad about it. He said that some Women get annoyed when men stand up for them. He openend a door for a Woman once, and she told him to f**k off.
I still think what I did was the right thing, but I would like to know people's opinions, on how men should act towards women in that sense. I'm for equal rights and all, don't get me wrong, but is it that bad to defend a woman in danger? Should they be given the oppurtinuty to defend them selves? When people are killd should it only list "People and Children" instead of "Women and Children"? What happened to Chivalry and Honour?
I'm in a mess.
It got flushed down the can.....Originally Posted by Lord Yossanrion
A sad truth in life is that 5 times out of 10 when you try to help someone, you get in worse sh$#. Chivalry died withe invention of gunpowder and TV......:sleep:
By day he fought with sword and shield.....
By night he fought with pen and parchment.....
He was....The Warrior Poet.......
Fear the ANZAC Clan!!!!!
ORDER OF THE SHADOWY FLAME!!!
Do you have uber micro...????
Well, I do think that women should be able to stand up for themselves. We shouldnâ€™t have to depend on men to defend and support us; dependency leads to inferiority, and women have struggled for a long time to achieve the independency and equality we enjoy today. I certainly wouldnâ€™t like to be forced to depend on anyone rescuing me from whatever unpleasant situations I might find myself in; rather than waiting for a knight in shining armour to come to my aid, I prefer to take things into my own hands.
That being said, I personally see nothing wrong with chivalry; in fact, I find it a very attractive feature in a man. Holding open doors, helping me collect dropped papers, even telling off persistent suitors at parties will definitely get someone on my good side, as long as it is done in a polite and charming manner. I donâ€™t mind men doing me favours. However, I wouldnâ€™t like anyone helping me because he thought I wouldnâ€™t be able to handle a situation myself.
As for your specific situation, itâ€™s difficult to say anything about the right course of action due to not having been present myself. However, if the girl let you know she appreciated your help, I think you did the right thing. I am sure she could have handled the situation herself if necessary (there are few problems a knee to the groin canâ€™t solve ), but she might have been uncomfortable doing so due to fear of overreacting. By telling your friend that his behaviour was inappropriate you were also supporting her, which I think was a good thing to do. As for your friend arguing that she should stand up for herself, I think heâ€™s just being a jerk, frankly. Insecurity and unwillingness to escalate a disagreement are no excuse for bullying.
"Girls are nice and cuddly on the outside, and freaky on the inside." ~ Lost Nemesis.
Lord Yoss, you did the right thing.
I would not have done the same. Simply because it is more of a turn on for the girl, clearly attractive, to do nothing, even walk away. The other guy was sleazy and wasn't going to get anywhere anyway, unless she was the type of girl I want to avoid in the first place.
Onto the topic, no wait...Grephaun that is just...wrong. Women don't find being nice attractive. Holding open doors is not a way to get attention. It is a way to be friendly. There is no problem being friendly of course. But admit it (or not), there's nothing attractive about a nice guy (trust me guys).
Back to the topic, no chivalry isn't dead. You will meet people as there has been for millenia, who do not respect others.
seconded, did the right thing
i would have done the same too, except after getting hit three times in return (and knowing that i'm in the right) i would have continued to apply enhanced pain compliance to the sod to get him to apologize to the girl (which helps save points from just plain inflicting pain on him for self-vengence).
marine corps ethics is supposed to be based around 'core' values of: honor, courage, and commitment (for those of us who believe in these things) as well as the synergy of discipline in mental, physical, and character (although i doubt most others care much for any of this)
but yeah, most times, they attracted to a guy who's nice or protective as they are to guys who are assholes. but then several realizations of the mistake later, she's back available again, but inevitably falls for another bad guy because, some people just never learn for their own good.
You know, this is not a subject that there is a clear yes or no answer for. Some women like when you are chivalrous (is that a word?) and some don't. If a woman tells you to f#ck off because you opened the door for her she is just a stupid b#tch and you should ignore her. I mean you didn't do it to be condescending or mean did you? You did it to be nice.
Being nice goes a long way, onlainari, and I simply don't agree with your statement that women don't find nice guys attractive. They do!
I personally don't treat women as 'women' or 'men'. I treat them as people. However, if I invite a girl out on a date I do pick up the bill at the restaurant and hold the door for her when we enter. Not because she is 'weak' or a 'lower sex' but because it's a kind thing to do.
Lord Yossanrion, you did the right thing in the incident you mentioned. That guy deserved to be smacked and you can even see that your female friend appreciated that you stood up for her. I believe women can and do stand up for themselves both in everyday situations such as the one you mentioned and on a larger political scale. But the fact that women are now equal to men (as I firmly believe they should be) has led to many women taking it too far and getting angry when men stand up for them which seems to be the case with the woman who told you to f#ck off.
All in all, I would say that you should keep on being a nice guy - to all people, men and women. It's a great trait that I myself am proud to posess, and it will always make you and the world around you feel much happier.
And you know this because youâ€™re a woman and Iâ€™m not?Originally Posted by onlainari
Personally, I like nice guys, and I will definitely prefer spending time with a chivalrous and charming man than someone ignoring me to be poked and prodded by his less-than-charming friend. :rolleyes:
"Girls are nice and cuddly on the outside, and freaky on the inside." ~ Lost Nemesis.
Oh my FSM. Girls are NOT attracted to arseholes >_<. I never said that.
It is the personality often assosiated with arseholes that make them attractive. The part where they tease, and are playful etc.
Being a nice guy is unattractive. You can certainly be a nice guy and become friends with a girl though, and may even get into a relationship. There are other forces. My statement is a generalisation.
You can certainly avoid being a nice, wussy guy without being an arsehole. I wouldn't say they are opposites as such.
And Grephaun, I don't see why women would admit such things, so yes, it is possible that I know and you won't say.
you might not see them as such, as they might not try to blatantly display that side to you... but to most other people on the outside, they can be seen for what they are. and let's face it, it's easy to determine this because most guys are arseholes anyways, there's just varying degrees. i'm more of a **** than an arsehole in my own opinion, though others who knows what they see of me.
i try to be nice, but tolerance only hold me for so long; then the evil side rears where it's just fun to be blatantly mean under comical conditions, like feeding your dog hot peppers because he won't learn to stop begging at the table for scraps. seriously though, i love and miss my dog (i hope he's still alive when i get back; he's a bit old now).
Again I disagree, onlainari.. I don't know what kind of guys you have where you live but I don't see why being playful, teasing etc means that you are an arsehole... I am a bit of a nut and I tease, am playful and all that and am STILL a nice guy...
Why does being a nice guy by definition mean that you are boring?