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Chuck Norris is god!
Chuck Norris, like dogs, can smell fear.
Everytime you litter, Chuck Norris cries, then he'll roundhouse kick your grandma.
When Chuck Norris poops, it causes mud slides in Mexico.
If Superman and the Flash were to race to the egde of space you know who would win:
Oil prices only go up when Chuck Norris is thirsty.
Chuck Norris doesnt step on toes, he steps on necks.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris uses live rounds on the set.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once lined up in the shotgun-formation, only to be narrowly sacked by the opposing defensive end, Chuck Norris. Never the less, after throwing the Hail-Chuck Norris to All-Pro Wideout, Chuck Norris, notorious steroid using Cornerback, Chuck Norris, out of the Universit of Chuck Norris located in Walker, Texas, intercepted the football. John Madden was so confused, he ate Al Michaels.
The pinball wizard is deaf, dumb and blind because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the **** out of him.
Chuck Norris never lost his virginity because he was born without one.
Michael Jackson got a deformed face after Chuck Norris roundhouse kick him just to answer "who was bad".
A waiter asked Chuck Norris what he would be eating that night. Chuck Norris replied "Do you serve souls?" The waiter merely chuckled, then every patron and employee in the restaurant simultaneously hung themselves.
Chuck Norris wore jeans so tight his wife became sterile.
The very first CSI was going to be titled "CSI: Chuck Norris", but there was no crime scenes and no investigating. Just Chuck Norris kicking ass and being totally awsome. So they renamed it Walker, TR.
"I shall listen for your call in whatever realm of death holds me, and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid. At the end I will be there. For the final battle. For the Wolftime".
Leman Russ, Primarch of the Space Wolves
I love these facts, seen them before and its still funny.
I think another one was:
"Chuck Noris is going to sue NBC over copyright issues due to the programme "Law and Order", which are the names of his left and right legs respectivly."
Life is too serious to be taken seriously
The funny part with quoting stuff from 4q.cc is?
Really show you're sources when you pick stuff from other sites, people might think that you thought about those facts yourself.
Whoa, take it easy there Vindy. If you've ever been on the internet even once in the past six months, then you know about the Chuck Norris site. I'm pretty sure everyone knew he wasn't claming them for his own.
And a few more of them from the site...
When Chuck Norris goes to sleep he has the night light on. Not because Chuck Norris is a afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one..................
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I don't have anything against that he post the facts, just that it annoys me when people take stuff from other sites and don't give the creators cred for it.Originally Posted by H0urg1ass
they are funny, i love stuff like that. Has everyone checked out the realabsolutepower.net site- real facts about ninjas!! such as:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
PLAN CLAN MAN!!
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man- S. Johnson
Well, it's kind of difficult to give the creators credit for it when they are facts that have been anonymously submitted by visitors. lol