Things You Shouldn't Do On The Battlefield - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
    Keeper of Records and Ale King Ulrik Flamebeard's Avatar
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    May 2003
    Leeds, Yorkshire
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    1372 (x8)

    1. call orcs cute
    2. throw soap at nurgle enemies
    3. yell bikini's for the bikini god at witch elves, unless you want to know the true meaning of the word pain
    4. feed snotlings insane amounts of narcotics
    5. dress up as a bloodletter and jump in front of your commander
    6. use your scouts as target practice
    7. say your thirsty and ask dark elves for a cold one
    8. give your friends a sleeping tomb king and ask them to unwrap their present
    9. dare your friends to eat squigs

    10. call your steamtank a pimp mobile
    11. Never turn your back on skaven assasins.
    12. Fight against lizardmen wearing scale leather boots or gloves.
    13. Ask an elf if they really do wear dresses.
    14. Ask a dwarf if dwarf women really do have beards.
    15. Tell an orc that he has bad overbite.
    16. replace your friends weapons with plastic ones
    17. putting a "eadbut me" sign on your commander, right before the orcs charge
    18. Drop the bag of gunpouder right befor the battle
    19. Ask a slayer why he has that silly hair (especially not Gotrik)

    20. Bet on wether the gobbo fanatc reaches you unit (just keep shooting)
    21. (the best) trust an elf
    22. battle a woodelf in bowshooting
    23. Ask the deamon that just puft out of the botle a statue of your self in gold
    24. Carve you and your girlfriends name on a tree in a woodelf forest.
    25. Walk up to a slann mage preist and tell him you are selling weightloss tablets on special just for him.
    26.Visit Kislev wearing a real bear fur coat.
    27. Take part in squib rodeo.
    28. Bump a HE mage while she puts on her lipstick.
    29. Tell Bugman elven wine is better

    30. "Borrow" an anvil of doom
    31.Have a skaven champion accept a challange
    32. Take a half full mug off a dwarf table
    33. Bring a sword and join a unit of hammers
    34. light a cigar with a warp fire thrower
    35. put food this way on a slayer banner
    36. Carve you and your girlfriends name in a treeman.
    37. Put an orc in a round romm and tell him there is food in the corner.
    38. Change an ogre's club for a Ham.
    39. Give a skaven assassin a bright orange back pack for his undercover mission and tell him it's a magicall one that hides you better.

    40. Tell an orc he can't cut of a branch from the tree next to you. Then run away and watch the fun as the treeman wakes up.
    41. Ask a treeman to hold your torch as you tie your shoelaces.
    42. Tell your enemy that he can't hurt you as you got a 1+ rerollable save and a 4+ ward.
    43. Invite wood elves to a lumberjack convention.
    44. Feed a griffon birdseed while you call it tweety.
    45. Run up to dark elf witch elves with clothes saying they will catch a cold if they don't put something on.
    46. Ask an orc what the colour of his black boar is.
    47. Ask a chaos warrior for directions when lost in kislev.
    48. tell a bloodthirster your granny has a bigger axe then him.
    49. Ask a dwarf if he wants to have your razor.

    50. Bribing a dragon with a fake gold coin
    51. "Flash" the local warrior priest or witch hunter.
    52. seduce a deamonette
    53. build a treefort in a treeman.
    54. Ask a giant if he can stand on his head.
    55. Jump from behind a rock and yell "BOOOO" towards archaon
    56. Give a goblin shaman a toothpick and convince him it's a rod of dragon control.
    57. Try to have a debate with a Troll.
    58. Put a sign on the back of a witch elf her back which says "Wide load"
    59. body slam a chaos spawn

    60. Tickle your general when he's aiming with his handgun.
    61. steal the local steamtank and go for a Joyride in the local "highly populated" village.
    62. replace the gunpowder with fireworks.
    63. Kick a squig.
    64. Try to grab a fanatics ball.
    65. change the Money in the Dog's of war paychest with monopoly money.
    67. And the ultimate one. Insult a dwarf about how much bear he can drink.

    Enjoy and please add your own

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Ravensdark's Avatar
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    Dec 2003
    Nymphoworld (University)
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    1 (x2)

    68. Go to the nearest witch hunter and say 'oh chaos ain't so bad, once you get past the whole deprivational sex thing.'

    69. Play chess with a Changer of Ways (he's bound to cheat)

    70. Go to the swamps of albion for a picknik with the kids. (you'll end up a fen beasts picknik)

    71. Let malakai maikason name anything. (i'll call myself the unkillable)

    72. Find an elf, do the vulkan sign and say. thats illogical teclis.

    73. slap a bloodthirster in the face and say 'what you looking at bitch'

    74. sing 'im a lumberjack and i'm ok' infront of a treeman

    75. go to kislev (its too bloody cold)

    76. advertise adventure holidays in the chaos wastes.

    77. go to a night of bretonnia and say 'whats with that stupid bint in the lake, she'll be all pruney by now'

    78. find a daemonitte of slannesh and say 'so what happened to your other tit, did you clip it off with youre pincer.

    79. BEST FOR LAST.. again find a slannesh daemonitte and say 'you don't sweat much for a fat chick'
    <span style='color:red'>&quot;Right lads, lets make a tactical advance to the rear of our posistion&quot;
    &quot;Errr do you mean run away?&quot;
    &quot;Thats the one&quot;</span>

    &quot;Oh man, look at that.&quot;
    &quot;Over there, by that river of boiling souls.&quot;
    &quot;Well I&#39;ll be damned... it&#39;s a Starbucks.&quot;

    <a href='' target='_blank'>THE SOUL REAVERS</a>
    <a href='' target='_blank'>GAESIA</a>

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