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Long time no enhanced post! Anyways...
I'm sure all of you have had things happen: your parents are arguing, sometimes quite viciously. No abuse physicically, but it is quiet nasty no the less.
What did you guys to do make yourselves feel better? What helped you? How did you feel? Were you concered that they would break up? If they did, what then?
At the moment, I just listen to Rammstien (mostly "Ohne Dich"), surf LO, and talk to my Girlfriend.
Go to your room, play loud music, and read a good book. That works for me.
Or I find something to do out of the house. Something that will keep me busy enough to keep my 6 thought-streams off the sucject...
"I have died a thousand deaths, and I will die a million more..."
Coping strategies are highly personal and what works for one person may be disastrous for another.
That said, I usually internalize it and go running. Distance running is a 'pain' sport and that helps to focus my mind. I figure, if I can't take it out on anyone else, I'll take it out on myself.
There are no hard-and-fast rules with dealing with emotions such as anger, despair, fear, frustration, etc. Do what you think would be good for your own psyche, if you feel better afterwards, then you've done something right. If not, something is still bothering you and should probably be addressed before it starts to take root or fester.
WHFB: Dwarfs || WH40k: Imperial Fists, Necrons || WM/H: Trollbloods || BFG: Necrons
Hey Lord Hoss. A good one, as mentioned above, is physical exertion. I used to pump iron when it got bad before my parents split. It is a really good way to distract your self. You don't do much thinking and you are really pushing yourself. Of course, being you, you might want something a little closer to your physical capabilities, (ie. chess, or tiddly winks). All kidding aside, I hope all is going well for you.
A little pain never hurt anyone - Larry
Nowadays, I garden. I call it garden therapy. Not for arguing parents but for work stress, which as a teacher can be quite a bit at times.
When I was your age and had way too much energy, exercise like a couple of other people have said. My parents didn't argue, thank goodness, but I've always kept myself worked up over something. Basketball and Taekwondo did it for me back then. Heavy physical exertion works wonders.
And sometimes when I was driving and alone, I'd just yell my guts out. Just let out a bloody scream and do it until you can't anymore. That was a good way for me to vent.
Things I found worked for me when my parents were arguing:
As it happened, my strategy eventually provided following results:
- Telling them to get a divorce.
- Telling them I was moving out so I wouldn’t have to listen to them.
Worked out great for all parties involved. :rolleyes:
- They got a divorce.
- I moved out so I wouldn’t have to listen to them.
Seriously, though, everyone has different coping strategies, some more productive than others. Me, I tend to read books and draw pictures when the world gets on my nerves, and to my great luck I am also blessed with a supportive boyfriend who doesn’t mind the occasional ranting. Music is also a great idea, especially the kind that can be turned up really loud and with lyrics that lets the world know you’re really really mad at it, just in case it needs a hint. :shifty:
As for arguments, I very much dislike it when people yell; the inability to discuss problematic situations calmly and rationally to find the best possible solutions has always seemed so childish to me. If a couple chooses vicious arguing over rational problem-solving, chances are that whatever they’re arguing about isn’t the real issue; usually such pointless arguments are simply an easy albeit very unconstructive way to relieve stress and frustrations. A good, well-functioning relationship has no need for arguments – I’ve been with my boyfriend for over five years now, and we’ve never argued even once. We’ve been worried or sad or annoyed about things just like any other couple, but we’ve never yelled at each other over it. I think we’ve both got too many memories of our parents choosing that solution to ever believe it would actually work. :hmm:
If you feel that your parents are arguing too viciously or too frequently, it might be an idea for you to bring up the issue with them. Choose a time when they’re not worked up about something, sit down with them and calmly explain to them that you feel their unresolved frustrations are creating an unpleasant emotional atmosphere in your home. Suggest that they might take some time to talk things through with each other and find a constructive outlet for their emotions, or else see a couple's counsellor to help them solve problems in their relationship. Parents arguing hurt the entire family, and so it is very much your business to butt in and tell them that they need to get their issues straightened out. It’s entirely unfair that you need coping strategies to deal with their problems! If they don’t like hearing what you’re telling them, let them know that the next step will be to contact the social services for help – parents (of teenagers, anyway) aren’t usually the smartest people in the world and sometimes need a bit of blackmailing to see the wisdom of your words.
And as for parents breaking up, it isn’t always the worst thing that can happen.
Last edited by Grephaun; June 17th, 2006 at 15:38.
"Girls are nice and cuddly on the outside, and freaky on the inside." ~ Lost Nemesis.
Thanks so much guys.
I love you all. :cry:
well my parents used to fight a lot when I was little and I used to be really sensative. When I was in grade 8 I decided that they weren't going to upset me anymore and they don't because I am emotionally dead when it comes to sadness :w00t:
Now its just a matter of not hearing them so music works best.
Good luck yoss
You know, there is something worse than having parent's that are argumentative, and that's having parent's that are too affectionate. It's seriously disturbing, and more than capable of causing serious psychological damage to children. No teenager or young adult wants to KNOW that his or her parent's do love each other. It's not a problem to know they do Like each other, but Love is a whole different matter. While there are undoubtedly benefits to having parents who love, it is not something that any teenager or young adult should have to face.
Loud music and/or TV are the best way of dealing with this issue too, the less you can hear, the less harm it can cause.
Last edited by mpdscott; June 19th, 2006 at 15:54.
Mysterious Member of the ANZAC Clan