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Edit: OOPS! This was meant for general and off topic discussion, sorry mods. I guess it will have to be moved.
A few Games Nights ago at GW Cardiff, the usual cries of "DIE" "NOOOOOO" and "FOR THE EMPEROR!!!" were interuputed by a sudden announcement: "Its dae thu'ti fowr in the primarch big brootha hows..." The rest is history.
We were all in stitches, being the nerds that we are, and a good laugh was had by all. So thinks I, could LO'ers do any better? What happens when all eighteen primarchs are stuck in a house (the other two can be supplemented by Mr. Blobby and the Crazy frog for annoyingness) ?
This is only intended for a laugh, and its not too spammy I hope .
DISCLAIMER: I HATE big brother with a passion. But it's fun to take the mick.
Its dae won in the Primarch Big Brootha hows, and the primarchs of the spays mareens are se'lin in.
Roboute Guilliman: "Verily, thith houth doth thtink of commerthialithm, thurely it'th a fad?"
Magnus the Red: "Nay, for mine eye hath spotted all the cameras (yay, even the one in the toilet bowl) and the Emperor is sure to watch over us this series."
The crazy Frog: "Ba ding ding ding dich'm ba..."*CRUNCH*
Rogal Dorn: "FOULD XENOS SCUM! EAT POWERFIST!"
Guilliman: "Rogal, forthooth, he ith jutht a frog!"
Dorn: Thou consortest with amphibians?! The derservest none better!
Its six Pee Aym, and Leman Russ is in the dayry room:
BB: "Russ, this is big brother."
Russ: "Err, yae, BB, Me pewer armour won't fut in the clowset, and thars nae pressure washer en the bathrum. Och, and me fangs need faylin, can a have a baynch grainder?"
BB: "Russ, you were allowed to bring only one item personal belonging into the house. You brought a primarch sized vat of ale, so you just have to live with it."
Seven thurty ayt Pee Aym, and Konrad Kurx is in the den...
Kurz: "But we didn't wants to come here precious? Why did it send us here?"
Kurz: "Patience, patience, soon the stash of Lambrini will be ours, and we shall have our vengeance!"
Kurz: "But...but.....the emperor our master now? We couldn't hurt hiiim?!"
Kurz: Hush precious, I can hear Russ breaking wind....run now! Run to the kitchen!"
OK, thats all I can think of for now, I must be bored.......
That is hilarious. Great job.:w00t:
If terrorists ask you "Do you have a bullet through your head?" say proudly, with dignity, "No, I do not. Go fish."
Catalysts of Iron/Iron Warriors 0/0/0
Soldiers of the Forge Worlds Clan Founder.
Dae two in the big brother hows: El Jonson and Leman Russ have been in the kitchen for 17 minutues, big brother has provided the house primarchs with this weeks shopping.
Jonson: Where's my whole nut bar?
Russ: I dunnae know wat ya talking aboot.
Jonson: Yes you do, I put a 250g bar of whole nut on the list as a luxury item and planned to eat it today.
Russ: Thats your problem pal, always planning and never just doing.
Jonson: Give it back
Russ: Ae tol yous before, I dunnae have it
Jonson: I saw you take it, I do have genetically engineered superhuman vision you know
Russ: Alreet, I di take it but I et it awready.
Jonson: Thats it dog boy, you are going to get it now
The ensuing fight lasts until day 9 in the big brother house with all the other primarchs cooking around the 2 brawling. This also puts to bed any rumours about the feud between Russ and Jonson, it all started over a delicious bar of chocolate with hazel nuts in it.
Helper monkey, bring me beer and donuts
Its dae ten in the hows, and todae the praymawks are given their fuwst challenge.
BB: Housemates, this is BB, your task for today is to feed the chickens, and de-lictor the garden. If you pass, then you will be giventhe choice between a chinese takeaway, or eating Mr. Blobby."
Russ: "Och! Chikuns! A dudnae now we had chikuns! A would hae' eaten them...."
Guilliman: "I call thotgun on the firtht Lictor!"
Mortarion: "I *hisss* say we *hisss* feed the frog to the *hisss* chickens..."
Forg: "Ba ding ding ding NOOOOOO!"
The hows mayts are in the gawden feedin the ch'kuns
Kahn: "Oi! Sanguinius! Get art o' there yew panzee, yaw not a chicken!"
Sanguinius: "But...they're my feathery pals, and I was weened on bird seed!"
Jonson: *Groan* "Aww my eye....."
Russ: "Aww...me nadgers...."
Fulgrim: *Minces into the garden* "Y'know, you two rehly shouldn't fight all the time, its sooooo unladylike."
Russ: "Its no mae fawlt he's a pussy!"
Jonson: LION! DAMNIT I'M THE LION!
*SMACK, CRUNCH, POW, WALLOP ETC ETC ETC!!*
Sanguinius: Leman, whatychu doin wit my masks?
***Leman turns around wearing a plastic mask of a poodle***
Great stuff, funny as hell. great to see a warhammer 40k joke that doesn't include a lightbulb.
I blame everything on Ronnie James Dio.
For someone who hates BB, you certainly seem to know a lot about it
I'm an avid fan and this year is one of the best ever(Y)
It's a shame i don't play 40K otherwise i probably would have gotten more of the jokes
Vulkan: I wouldn't let fulgrim use up your luxury item choice.
Dorn: Why not? He seems like a nice enough fellow, loyal to the emperor and
Vulkan: Well.. he's a bit of a -
***Fulgrim walks in the room carrying a large crate with three X's stenciled on it***
Fulgrim: hey guys, do ya know where Russ is? He said he needed party supplies. Oh, and Rogal, they said you don't get any more luxury items because your choices are inappropriate, so no more bananas.
***just then blobby walks into the room, sees Rogal scream with rage, lifts his arms in surprise, turns around, and gets his head lobbed off by rogal's power sword.***
Sorry if I'm pushing it a bit there, but I had to get blobby decapitated before the end of this forum.
Last edited by bilebeast; June 23rd, 2006 at 19:22.
I blame everything on Ronnie James Dio.
Its dae eleven in the hows, Russ as decided to ave a BBQ unfortunnatly for crazy frog e was on tha menu.
Russ: Pretty good barby don't you think?
Magnus: I'v forseen you getting food posioning from this.
Kharn: Tasts like chicken
Sanguinius: *crys* then why did you have to cook the chickens as well?
Rogal Dorn: We're Primarchs, wwe have big appatites, plus how did we know what the xenos would tast like?
Sanguinius: It's a frog
Rogal Dorn: therefor not human so xenos
Sanguinius: It's from Terra, how is it xenos
Rogal Dorn: How many frogs on Terra have you seen that are blue?
Sanguinius: To shay, To shay. Any legs left.
Russ: I knew you'd come round to the idea. If Sanguinius is willing to try a piece surly you will Magnus?
Magnus: I forsee you get...
Kharn: ...Getting food posioning yes you've only been saying it for half an hour we get it, SHUT THE HELL UP.
Magnus: Don't say I didn't warn you.
Kharn: Right thats it.
*Kharn and Magnus begin to brawl*
*Everyone else leaves*
Russ: they're so childish *tuts*