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In an effort to provoke some life into this forum for even the dead weeks, I thought that we'd run a Question Of The Week, much like B3ta's. PM me suggestions for the QOTW and the best will be selected.
THIS WEEK: Drunken Mistakes.
Being a bit of a piss artist, the list is long, so I'll just keep it short and recent. So recent in fact, its last night.
Last night serving behind the bar in my pub, since im off to uni in a week. I get bought loads of pints just before I get off, which is itself about half an hour before the pub closes. I drink them, and go off up to north hill, which is a huge mistake.
Im rambling. Anyway. I go home in a taxi.And give the driver the best fare of his life, I would imagine, the Â£180 pay packet i got for the last week from the Minerva, for a six mile journey.
So tell us your drunken mistakes. Incriminating ones are always the best.
"It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"
There are so many in my past. I'm not sure I want to relive any of them, but you know, since this is PG13 forum, most of them are gone anyway... Here are a brief selection:
1) Climbing a 35 feet pine tree, only to fall on the way down into a stinging nettle patch.
2) Deciding that baked beans can be cooked in a fireplace, while still being in the can.
3) Waking up on a friday to relalise that I had no idea where I was, or what I had been doing the night before, wandering around aimlessly until I had realised I had left for university 3 days earlier... (Not really a mistake, but still a good eye opener for Phobos)
4) Attempting to drink a pint of turbo shandy, (that's a half pint of lager with a smirnoff ice in it for the sober amongst you), while standing on my head. Note to self alcohol burns your eyes!!
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Deciding to head home cross country after a night out in the local nightclub. (which just happens to be in the middle of nowhere!)
It was funny for the first two fields, then my brother feel in a ditch and I stepped in cowsh!t. After getting completely lost for the best part of two hours we finally found a train track. We followed the train track for about an hour until we hit a road where we suffered the embaressment of having to ring our mother to pick us up at 5am. Luckly we had sobbered up considerably by then. Three nettle stings and two electric shocks and a chase from an imaginary bull tends to do that to you.
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My mistakes suck, but I did have one bad night last year...
Some friends and I decide to clean out the alcohol that was left over from the entire school year from his frigdature(?spell), along with a handle of vodka. Bad idea. Ever have 24 hours hangover? I did, throwing up didn't even help... We were suppose to play WHFRP the next day too, which was pathetic because we were all moaning and covering our eyes.
Well it wasn't me, but rather I was the object.
In a club, someone was violently adamant that I was a guy call Mr Hong who ran a Takeaway on the other side of town.
I'm not, and a bouncer had to come and make sure a fight didn't break out because he didn't believe me.
Cervantes: In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.
Despite almost being classified as a social alcoholic, I've had surprisingly few drunken mistakes, although they do seem to be pretty big mistakes.
Probably the biggest one is drinking 14 scotch&cokes (in an hour) at a strip club then stumbling off home (only about 500m), getting tired on the way, and having a nap in a complete stranger's shed. The cops were kinda unforgiving....and I ruined my favourite shirt.
Next would be after a friend's 21st, I was trying to hook up with one gal at the party, ended up going back to friend's place with a second girl - who could have been a waif-model (stick figure), with more issues than Reader's Digest - and having hip-bruising (from her pelvic bone) sex all night long. Never again.
I can't really classify walking the 5km back to campus from the clubs at 3am in a friend's 4" heels a mistake (her feet were killing her, and we had the same size feet), because I didn't stumble once. Needless to say she was annoyed since she had been stumbling all night (hence the sore feet).
Should I have mentioned that last one?
Mysterious Member of the ANZAC Clan
That last one was pretty funny.
I've had quite a few, too many to mention in fact, but here is one that springs to mind:tongue:
Myself and a friend went to a house party one night (at uni) and before we went we consumed two bottles of wine each. Once we got to the house party we then started eating the vodka jelly...:x
By the end of the night we were pretty battered and i was sitting one someones bed feeling pretty annoyed (can't remember why) so i took up my wine bottle and threw it against the wall. It just so happened that the moment the bottle hit the wall, the song stopped and in that split second everyone heard the sound of the bottle smash against the wall. Some guy came up to me and started ranting in my face but i was too drunk to care so i just walked out the house.
When i got back a girl from the party phoned me up and asked why i left and i started yelling at her down the phone, before picking up a chest of drawers and hurling it against a wall, smashing it to pieces.
Upon hearing this a flatmate came downstairs and asked me what my problem was, so i spat in their face!
The next morning i discovered that my other friend who went to the house party took a wrong turn walking home, and ended up over ten miles from the house, getting a lift from a bakers van home, in the wee hours of the morning!
One of the craziest nights of my life, and not one i plan on repeating, but still something i remember quite vividly, despite the large alcohol consumption:blush:
My two buddies and I were out at the pubs, and took a walk down by the Cruise ships. One of my friends and I wanted to stow away on one of the big boats.....
After making it through several fences and by a couple of security guards, my sober buddy kept the other two of us from jumping on board... good thing too. I don't know what I would have told my wife when we ended up in Alaska!:wacko:
Another time the same drunken friend and I tried to break into BC Place stadium (our big Football indoor stadium) we couldn't make it in, but found the extra bleachers next to Pacific Boulavard (very busy street) we managed to climb up, and piss all over the street with cars going below us. We both blew chunks, passed out for a while, and then somehow made it back to the hotel.
I guess that's why I quit drinking!:rolleyes:
"A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril."
Sir Winston Churchil
Thanks to my days at university, there are quite a few...
which to pick? The time I drank a whole bottle of J&B Scotch (bought whole from a sympathetic barkeep), the huge f*up with the local police, the ugly hookup with one of the psychotic ex's, wandering drunk and lost around town with my utility pockets stuffed full of lager bottles (see story #1), the new years' eve where thanks to a friend tending bar I somehow became the recipient of nearly a case of cheap champagne (which despite my drunken generosity, I drank the lion's share of)?
Needless to say, things have settled down in the decade since I finished school (and thank gods, I certainly don't have THAT many spare brain cells).
I guess I'll pick the least embarassing...
My gf (at the time) and I had just had a HUGE blow-out screaming row. She had just transfered universities and wasn't adjusting well (nor were we to the no-longer long distance relationship). After about an hour of fighting in person, and an hour or so of fighting on the phone, and essentially breaking up, my roommate and I decided that the solution to my problems was to get legless (NOT legolas ).
After drinking everything in the house, which consisted of about a 12 of guiness, 8 wine coolers (NOT MINE, I SWEAR!), and the dregs of the vodka in the freezer, we decided to hit the town.
We went out to our local haunt, a real pit with sticky floors and the ever-present smell of damp wood and sour beer, where we drank for about 2 hours (for free, it helps to deliver food to the people who serve you drink) when my possibly-ex shows up.
We leg it out the back door and go to a bar she hates, so the possibilities of our unfortunate meeting wouldn't occur again. A sympathetic barkeep doesn't batt an eye when I ask how much a whole bottle of J&B is (I believe it's illegal for a bar to sell a whole bottle here, but it's a uni-town...) and I proceed to empty it in the span of about an hour. I should add that during the whole episode I was not only witty, smooth, and charming, but dead-sexy as well while enjoying my possibly new-found 'freedom'.
Near the end of our night, I believe around 11 or so (just the start of a normal evening out)
we stumble into the beer girls [this may be an american phenomenon, these girls sell beer at above regular bar price (or try to push something that isn't moving) from tin tubs while standing around scantily clad (usually in a bikini top, or a tank and cut-offs)].
I blow the rest of my nights wages to buy her out of lager bottles, which I proceed to stuff into my utility pockets (ACTUAL cargo pockets, before all you teenage numpties started wearing 'cargo pants') and we wander out of the bar in a futile attempt to reach our flat.
After throwing empties all over town, stumbling a**-over-tea kettle, heaving a few times, and a few ugly (and incredibly humorous) examples of public urination, we finally reach home.
This is where I proceed to pass-out, half dressed on the lavie floor.
Upon awakening, these are the first thoughts that run through my head...
1) where am I?
2) why is there a sink in my bedroom?
3) this isn't my bedroom
4) at least I'm alone
5) where am I?
6) why am I stuck to the floor? (vomit)
7) how did my shirt get half over my head and my pants half down? (see #4, thank gods)
8 ) why the hell does my head hurt so badly?
Needless to say, I was bloody useless all day. My gf and I made up about 2 days later (it would all end badly 6 months down the road, but what doesn't?)
Astoundingly, we didn't get nabbed by the cops (who take a dim view of drunks running about throwing empties all over town and peeing on everything), and we remarkably did no permanent harm to our futures, university careers, or relationships!
For one of the EMBARASSING tales, you'll need to meet me at the LO chicago meeting next july and buy me a round or two.
Baby, when I'm the voice of reason, we've got problems!~artificerSomeone should stop
Jervis "let's make it easy enough for a 3 year old to play" Johnson
before he turns 40k into checkers~anon