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Note that this comes directly from the B3ta QOTW, but I havent actually read any of the entries there yet due to lack of time.
My useless advice:
If in doubt in a relationship, or you have been accused of something, remember the three d's.
No, sweetheart, that wasnt me kissing that girl. Im shocked and appalled you would even think that I could fall for sophies buxom charms, her long dark hair and the way she ****s like a minx. Not ever, not me.
"It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"
Well ok, if I must:
If someone you know tells you that they have been diagnosed with chronic Insomnia, tell them to try and not lose sleep over it.
If someone you know tells you that they are losing their memory, tell them to try and forget about it.
The worst advice I have ever received is: Just be Yourself.
That little gem has never worked - for anyone as far as I can tell.
Going hand in hand with it is the crazy statement: Women want a nice guy.
Really? If you pay any attention to that little nugget, you'd have to assume that I'm not single, because by all accounts I'm a genuine nice guy (who just happens to be fuly domesticated). Guess again.
Who's heard this one: Honesty is the best policy?
Who's ever heard it work? Okay so there are some situations where honesty is a good idea, but as a policy it sucks.
Mysterious Member of the ANZAC Clan
On a coffee/tea/hot beverage cup: Caution, Contents may be hot.
I take issue on this for two reasons. First- of course they're hot, I just ordered a hot drink.
Second- the use of the word 'may'. They should damn well be hot for sure. Otherwise what is the point.
Cervantes: In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.
Just had another one come to mind: Cheaters never prosper
Bullshizzle, quite frankly. Can you name anyone who has made a serious amount of money without cheating?! Drug Lords live in mansions, and I live in Reading. Go Figure!!
A bit of annoying advice given before you get some well deserved payback How would you feel if someone did the same thing to you? Well badly obviously but thats not the point because no-one is doing it to me.
Women want a nice guy.
This little bit of info is not true. I played the whole nice guy thing for the first two weeks at college and you know what happened. (well except for the sorority parties) i ended up hanging out with chicks that either had boyfriends or didn't like to party.
Here is some useful advice. Nice guys finish last. How nice you are has nothing to do with anyting in the beginning. Its the guy that takes the initiative that takes the girl home. So chug your beer then go dance with her before somebody else does. :yes:
ninjabackhand: point and click, again, really? even after i give you an military term "shock tactic" you still call it point and click.
RIP Warhammer 40,000: 21 Sep 1998 - 24 May 2014