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We've all done it. Either our mouth has run ahead of our mind, and you've said something out of turn. Maybe you can see things ****ing up just as they happen. The moment you realise this is the OHNOsecond.
The one that comes to mind for me is last year, I was going through a self righteous "I CAN SAVE ANYONE!" type mood. It was a mates 18th, and the booze was flowing very freely. He's had a lot, I've had more than anyone (This was just after The Bitch broke up with me after two years and two months of cheating) and he sez to the group at large:
"Its a nice night. Lets go up to the North Hill Reservoir!" (Its worth noting here for all you colonials that since England is a country with history, its cities have not been so much built as grown. What was a few miles out of the town a century or two ago is now regarded pretty much as the center. NHR has like this promenade thing on it, but the wall facing the water is gone, and as a result its been fenced off for the better part of fifty years behind chainlink fencing).
So we wander along, and I think he means the park underneath the reservoir. But no, hes heading directly for a hole in the fence. Because its his birthday, and because hes a fop/dandy/pretentious eejit on the whole, he'd given everyone the directive of a 50's theme. So we're all in suits and the girls are in long dresses. I have the whole Reservoir Dogs type look going for me since I only have the one narrow black tie. Anyway.
He scrambles through, and I pause for a bit, marshalling my swirly thoughts. One arises from the depths. "He's drunk... he'll fall in and drown."
SO I lunge after him, through the rusty chainlink fence. Theres a little resistance, but I get through. I catch up to him as he's strolling along the paving slabs, and sits down on an old stone bench.
"DONT GO ANY FURTHER! YOULL DROWN!" shouts I.
"What the **** are you talking about, im stone sober."
"WHAT THE HELL AM I....what?"
"Im sober. Stone. Im fine."
Its at this point, I realise my backs getting cold. It is December, after all. My mind replays whats been going on in the last minute, and thats my OHNOsecond as my mind recreates, in the third person, why I got through the fence after that bit of resistance.
Ive torn my suit jacket. My Â£150, by itself, suit jacket. From right shoulder to left hip. Its slashed to ****. Do I get any words of comisseration from my other drunk friends? DO I bollocks.
"You're such a depressed bastard, chris."
"I JUST RUINED A 300 QUID SUIT YOU ****STICK!"
".... **** you. Im going home."
So tell us your OHNOSECONDS. Im sure there are better ones than mine.
"It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"
Rehearsal for Anthony Clarvoe's play The Living, which takes place during the London plague. I'm Dr Harman, who's just realized a couple scenes ago that he's caught it. In this scene, he's working up the courage to ask his nurse -- a young widow (played by a startlingly attractive woman) -- to watch him carefully for signs, and that if the disease progresses and he appears to be going mad, she's to "sit on [his] chest, and smother [him]" so that he doesn't run around infecting everyone else. (Surprisingly, this is not a real downer of a play, but it is intense and very beautiful. Catch it if you can.)
As I said, this is a real nerve-wracking scene for my character, and it's one of the most tense of the show. Anyway, scene progresses well, but then I say, "... I want you to sit on my face ..."
The room erupts, but I have no idea what I just said. When people finally calm down enough to explain it to me, I am mortified beyond description. During the rest of the production, I always had to observe my words very carefully during that scene. Didn't want to repeat that in front of an audience!
ninjabackhand: point and click, again, really? even after i give you an military term "shock tactic" you still call it point and click.
RIP Warhammer 40,000: 21 Sep 1998 - 24 May 2014
A friend of mine jumped over a wall into a load of hedges once at night, My ohNo second was realising the hedges were tops of trees. He was bloody lucky to survive the fall......
"God is dead" Nietzsche- 1886
"Nietzsche is dead" God- 1900
Why are there scams? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q71FLDIMBc8
When I opened the door to my house after coming home from a 4-round RTT this saturday and got hit in the face by the smell of crap... wow, did that suck.
The RTT was an all day thing and I had someone coming over a few times during the day to take care of my dog. They called on their last visit and said that she had an accident in her crate, but that she seemed fine and everything else was good. I, unfortunately, didn't bail out of the tournament and finished the last round and a half after telling the dog sitter what to do.
So anyway, I get home about 4 hours later and the smell as soon as I opened the door was horrific, and I knew she had another problem in her crate again. What I didn't realize was how bad it was. It wasn't just one more accident, she s--t all over it, at least 4-5 times of horrific diarrhea. It was in her fur all over her back, legs, and even some on her head. As soon as I let her out of the crate, she ran to the back door to go out... and left skid marks the entire way since it was on her feet, too, apparently.
As soon as she got out, she was going again. I couldn't let her back in the house covered in it as she was, so I had to give her a bath immediately in the windy 40 degree cold. It wasn't fun for her, nor for me. As soon as I finished, she went yet again and this time threw up, too. It was now around 10:30 pm after I had been playing 40k all day with only having gotten 3.5 hours of sleep the night before, and so the already long day was getting even longer. I grabbed her leash and loaded her in the car to take her to a 24 hour emergency vet clinic.
She didn't have another episode in my car, thankfully. But as soon as I let her out in the clinic parking lot, it was an explosive one. In the 2 hours at the vet before they took her in the back, I had to take her out another 5 times (having forgotten my jacket)... so both of us were having a bad day. What ended up happening was that she was over-fed (and she wolfs her food, so got a bunch of air trapped down there, too), and drank a lot of water. Her stomach then got really swollen and was causing big problems. Lots of gas was trapped in her intestines, and she was in danger of bloat, which is fatal if not treated immediately.
The vet induced vomitting to clear her stomach, though it took almost an hour for them to do so (I can only imagine what the poor dog was going through for that!).. and her stomach shrunk to a normal size and she was able to pass the gas in her system. They kept her over night for observation and the like, with me finally getting out of the vet's office around 2 am getting home at around 2:30 to start the clean up.
I managed to clean 90% of it from inside my house before running out of the carpet cleaner, and was also able to clean her crate (the crate only, the padding had to be tossed). By this point, it was near 5 am, but I did manage to get a few hours of sleep before the vet called with a status report. She was thankfully doing much better in the morning, stomach was still fine and she held down the little bit of food and water they gave her.
So after a quick trip to the store for more carpet cleaner and a new set of pads for her crate, I was able to pick her up from the vets office after paying a bill large enough to have bought a new 2000 pt warhammer army. Sunday went pretty quick, both of us napping most of the day.. the only new adventures were cleaning up whenever she would pass gas, as she'd dribble a little bit when she did.
A rough weekend for both of us, though she's feeling much better now, and for that I am very grateful.
But yeah, opening that door when I got home was a definite "OHNO" moment. But thems the joys of pet ownership!
Last edited by moob; November 1st, 2006 at 04:33.
Asking my Uni Tutor when her Baby was due,
She was just fat. Whoops.
Every time you read this sig: a fairie dies!
That is surely the most cliched thing ever.Originally Posted by Silver Wings
Sir, I congratulate you.
minus_t's painting log! Now with: More Wolves and Blue Robots!
Last updated 09/01/11
"Never before has another man made me want to go out and buy vasaline"~The Paint Monkey
"All I can remeber is Hazard stripes and -T's dusty brushes. ~danjones87
It was fairly easy to do, whe wasn't fat all over like a 'normal' large person. It was just the belly.
I only find out about alot of deadlines from friends now...
As for a chiche, well I presumed such things couldn't really happen. Whoops again.
Every time you read this sig: a fairie dies!
Yeah, I had a similar one to Silver Wings. Used to work in a shop (M&S for those who know the chain), and my floor manager was a rather large lady... by which I mean very fat. She was very good at her job an got along well with everyone - which is probably why I managed to keep my job.
I'd recently gotten a new pair of glasses, and was in the canteen talking to some workmates whilst on break. She walked in a noticed I had new glasses and said (at least I thought she said)
"New glasses! They make you look much thinner." To which I replied
"It'll take more than a pair of new glasses to do that."
Everyone in the canteen stopped talking and looked at me wide-eyed. It took me a few excruciating seconds of silence to realise she had actually said
"New glasses! Do they make me look much thinner?"
Needless to say I got the worst working hours for the next few weeks. It still makes me cringe just thinking about it.
Wow thats funny but so mean at the same time. Anyway
Here it is my O $H!T moment. I was at a party haven a great time and i was dancen with this girl, (my exgf was in her room studying) so the party ran out of liquor and everyone started to leave. But me and the guys werent done yet so we decided to go to the bar. :yes: Naturaly i asked the girl to the bar with me, thirty dollars later (at the bar) i find myself laying next to her in her bed. I was apparently drunk enough to cheat, however i was also guilty enough and still drunk enough to go back to my gfs room ask to talk to her alone so her friends left and i started to tell her what happened and just as i got to the part where she was about to get pissed I realized what i was doing and said out Loud O ****. Now At this point in the story you cant just stop and say so I came here so i continued and told her what i did.
Then like an old batman cominc WHACK SMACK. I felt like the chick on the exorcist Im pretty sure my head spun 360 degrees one way then back the other. So i said i was sorry :cry: then I had leave.
Not quite as funny as your guys stories but all the same it was Stil a O NO moment for me.
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