Welcome to Librarium Online!
One of my favorite hobbies is making army lists, here's one that I made today. It was based around the Idea of food, and the fact that I wanted to use a Halfling HotPot. One thing led to another, and this is what I got! 2k, on the dot.
Tyrant Taft the Food Critic: Fear him! He comes to your restaurant, he eats your food, and he leaves a nasty review in the local paper! Nobody stands up to him for fear of his razor wit and whatever may be hidden in his jowls!
Tyrant with: Heavy Armor, Great Weapon, Mawseeker, Talisman of Protection/Thiefstone/Fistful of Laurels (I can't decide).
Wolfgang Schmuck, the stuck up Chef: You call that food? You only spent fifteen hours preparing the meal, it's not fussy enough! Head Chef Schmuck is always ready to decry the work of others and belittle your self esteem when facing the insurmountable odds of cooking! Depending on his mood, he takes with him a BAM!Stick, in order to make restaurant food palatable, his famous cookbook "There's more than one way to skin a Halfling" his simple disdain for everything that does not meet his expectations.
Butcher with: 1 Dispel Scroll, Bangstick, Halfling Cook or a second Dispel Scroll.
Halfling Hot Pot: Food Fight! Remember when you were a kid, and someone decided it was funny to put that nasty goo the cooks served to good use? Neither do I, but I wanted a hotpot, damn it! Soup Good!
Gorger: There's always some loud, obnoxious drunk who comes in at the back door, lookin' for a fight. This slavering beast can be your hobo, your fat, beer-swilling jackass, or any other bastard who shows up uninvited!
4 Leadbelchers: What parody of American food culture is complete without your gun-toting, second amendment-humping, heavily-armed Stereotypes? Rednecks ftw! Don't forget to put sweatpants on one of them, that way you can make a Plaxico joke when they misfire!
12 Trackers: These guys represent the underworld of the Culinary industry, they sneak around in the back and unleash rats and cockroaches in your kitchen and piss off your siege engines! They always come before a hostile corporate takeover, and are a warning sign of the massive overeating to come.
8 Ironguts: These are your hardcore, competitive eaters. Hot dog Snarfers, Raw-Pepper eaters, and lovers of massive amounts of food! They think they can eat anything, and that's just what they're out to do. They call themselves Ironguts because they have stomachs of steel!
18 Bulls: These are your Stereotypical Americans. Fat, loud, rude, and obnoxious, these guys (and gals!) think their weight is perfectly normal, shame on you for calling them fat! Don't **** with these guys, or they'll invade your country, topple your government, let terrorists in, and steal your oil!
60 Gnobbos: Now, Americans aren't all fat assholes who are interested in nothing more than perpetuating their decadent lifestyle, and these guys represent the 2/3 of Americans who are more akin to human beings than whales, but we don't really care about them, do we? Shove them out in front of the fatties and let them take the fall for everything that goes wrong!
I'm too lazy to come up with a witty sig.