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Name: Dominic Morentez
Type: Ordo Xenos Inquisitor
Despite the fact that he became an Inquisitor, Dominic Morentez has found difficulty gaining respect amongst many of his peers. It is not because of his manner or personality. It's because of his teeth.
Since his childhood, Morentez's canine teeth were unnaturally sharp and long. He notice this quickly and hid it from others in his community. The villagers thought he was odd, as he never smiled nor laughed. He was shunned and ignored, viewed as strange. To make up for this, he showed unshakable faith in the Emperor. He was often seen, long after services had concluded, praying that the Emperor would take away his defect.
Another thing that Morentez kept hidden was an unusual bloodlust. Oftentimes, he'd disappear into the woods near his village to sate this lust. He'd stalk an animal, sometimes for days, waiting for the right moment to strike. When it came, he'd quickly and efficiently kill the animal, and promptly drank its blood. This could keep him sated for about two weeks, which when he'd return to the woods to continue the ritual.
He managed to keep all this hidden until his fifteenth year.
On the day that his ritual was due, an Eldar Pirate raid struck his village. With this imminent threat and loyalty to the village first, he'd have to refrain from his expedition to repel the raiders. It was a vicious fight, but many Eldar were defeated, until just one remained.
Morentez was alone with the Eldar. Morentez readied his sword for the attack, the pirate readied his pistol. As he prepared for the charge, Morentez felt a pressure on his chest. His bloodlust was overtaking him. He tried desperately to control it, as he could see others from his village watching him. But it was too much to bear.
With unnatural speed, Morentez charged the pirate, teeth bared, fangs glistening in the twilight. The Eldar was too shocked to react. Morentez saw the terrified look on the Eldar's face, and it only feuled his crazed manner. Dropping his blade, he leapt at the pirate from ten feet away, landing on the raider's shoulders. From there, Morentez sunk his teeth into the slender neck.
Thick red gore filled Morentez's mouth, and he drank deep of the ichor. When his thirst was finally sated, he looked up to find an equally shocked look on each of the villager's that had watched him. Realizing his situation, Morentez quickly got up and fled for the woods.
He hid in the woods for several hours, ashamed of himself fro his actions. He knew that he would never be allowed back into the village. He had nowhere to go...
"I know where you can go..." said a voice behind him. Morentez spun around.
Above him stood an old man. He wore plain clothes, but they did not seem to suit him. He looked as if he belonged in more elaborate clothing.
"You're not from around here, are you?" asked Morentez skeptically.
"You are perceptive as you are vicious, young one," said the old man.
It was true, he was an Inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos, responding to reports of pirate raids. He came on the right day, it seemed.
"I can use your skills, child," said the old man. "I care not about your 'gift.'"
Morentez got up and agreed. Any place is better than here, now.
While training at the Schola Progenium, Morentez was shunned again. This continued as he apprenticed under the venerable Inquistor, until he met a young woman by the name of Samantha Valerio. She wasn't frightened by Morentez teeth, in fact, she was fascinated by them. They became fast friends, always seen together, even through graduation.
Today, both Valerio and Morentez are always working together, complementing each others skills and mentalities. There are rumors that they are romantically involved, but that has not yet been confirmed.
Normally, Valerio, being of the Ordo Hereticus, would hunt down someone like Morentez, but the nature of their relationship is that one will not betray the other's loyalty.
As such, they often come under investigation by more Puritan inquistors, but so far, none have been able to bring them in.
Automatic Combat Shotgun
Close Combat Weapons
Improvised Weapon: Steel Encased Shotgun stock (+10 Wt)
Equipment, Amour, etc:
3 Photon Flash Grenades
Carapace Armour on Chest, Abdomen, and Groin. Flak Armour on arms and Legs. 2pts armour on all locations except for the head (Greatcoat)
Talents: Leader; Acrobatic; Deflect Shot; Furious Assault
Psychic Powers: Biomancy: Blood Boil
Exotic Abilites: Vampirism
Special Rule: Blood Lust
Morentez is easily excitable by the sight or smell of blood. If he is not careful, he may fall victim to his bloodlust. At the start of every turn that Morentez is within 10 yards of an enemy model, me must pass a Wp test at half his current Wp. If he fails, he becomes subject to Frenzy, and counts as under the Psychon combat stimm, until he can make a successful Vampirism attempt on the enemy.
If Morentez can see OR smell an enemy that is bleeding, he automatically becomes frenzied and counts as under the Psychon combat stimm, until he makes a successful Vampirism attempt.
After completing a Vampirism attack, Morentez's body must recover from the strain placed on his body. He must spend one turn catching his breath. He may take no other actions except Pause For Breath, so that he can recover.
Last edited by Adrian MalSeraph; November 21st, 2006 at 03:33.
Nice mate, model is nothing most other players dont have in their box somewhere but that doesnt make it bad, everyong has covenant slightly changed cos it is easy and effective, fluff is quite long and a little simplistic, would prefer darker and still not noticed any explanation for his vampyrism nor his psychic powers, equally a combat shotgun, pistol, 2 handed sword, improvsed weapon, power sword seems overkill on the weaponry front, have you worked out encumberance for him?
Also generally I think you gone a bit overboard on skills/abilities but still nice work
Everything you have been told is a lie!
That's why I put up these things.
I'll give it a look over and see where I can cut back.
I'm definitely dropping the power sword, I only had it for the power weapon sake. I'll also drop the stubber.
Darker how? Where can I make it darker?
And I can lose Deflect Shot, I don't even know why I had that to begin with...
Darker - I guess it is about style/gramar/choice of words, it is not that bad, but to give you an illustration, if you took a janet and john book and John went up the administratum to fetch a pail of promethium, that isnt dark and gothic, stuff that should be sinister is stated in too mater of fact way, now as I said, it aint that bad, but let see...A rather obvious example, I suspect it is deliberatley written that way, but it sets the scene, this is the first sentance describing your character, and it just doesnt hook the reader in a 40K way, look:Despite the fact that he became an Inquisitor, Dominic Morentez has found difficulty gaining respect amongst many of his peers. It is not because of his manner or personality. It's because of his teeth.
"Despite the fact that he became an third year, Charlie has found difficulty gaining respect amongst many of his peers. It is not because of his manner or personality. It's because of his teeth"
See I have converted it to Charlie and the chocolate factory by changing the 2 nouns, and other than tense it would fit well. This needs to be dark and intriguing .. I would recomend kicking the fiction forums, get one of the guys there to help you out, they will be far better writers than I am
Does that make sense? Chered
Everything you have been told is a lie!
That does make sense. Thanks much, Cheredanine.
Where's that head from?
Is it not the demon huntress?
PO mate you heard any date for the delayed announcement for results of the character comp?
Everything you have been told is a lie!
Kool model, i realy like the back story. Seems fine to me but the one thing i might change is the two handed sword, even though it does have defintie appeal. Two handed weapons never seem to make much sense story wise in 40k, except for orks. If youve gotta gun, use it! id keep the power sword and use it with a one handed pistol deal.
Really like the model
" These kroot fascinate me. I sense a changing, a capability of loving the emperor. We, the Ordo Xenos, fight the alien's hatred of the emperor, not its skin."
- Inquisitor Tiberius Extius
READ "THE EMPEROR' CLENSERS" in FLUFF
Otherwise it's pretty cool.. If I had one other criticism, it's that his mutation doesn't seem to be considered horrifying enough. Mutation in 40k is thought to be a sign of the influence of chaos.. I think you need a better reason as to why Valerio would trust Morentez other than having a fang fetish. If chaos can influence his body and personality, how can you trust him?
Not saying it's a bad idea.. I think it just needs a little more adversity. Mutation isn't fun.
Statswise, he looks cool.. Personally, I'd lose the psychic powers as I think they're uneccesary to the concept. Besides, the shotguns going to make him a beast at shooting, so I don't think you'll want to use those powers anyway as they're just a risky way of achieving the same effect.
My hooks are as tender as yours, dear chap.PO mate you heard any date for the delayed announcement for results of the character comp?