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For me, it happened during 4th or 5th gaming session. I was using my first-ever character, a Half-Orc Barbarian named "Sam-R-I" and also nicknamed "Cuddles". Anyways, my most funny/improbably moment came when the part faced a room with a treasure chest. The room was loaded with traps, as the PC who stepped on spike-trapped floor found out (I believe it was our ranger). There were also lots of supsiciously arrow-sized holes in the wall a few inches from the floor. My character, being obsessive about personal hygeine had bought several bars of soap while we were in town. So I slid a bar of soap on the floor towards the treasure chest on my turn. The soap activated the arrow traps on the floor panels, and ended up being peirced several times. Thankfully, the arrow traps were just a one time thing, and my party was able to get to the chest and recover the treasure within. Another fun DnD moment (later in that campaign) I went into a room to get some treasure. The druid was near the entrance, and the wizard and ranger were 5 or 6 squares from the druid. I went to open the chest, which had a LOT of gold (30000 gp!). However as soon as I took the gold, a stone door slammed down where the entrance was, trapping me in the room. And water started filling the room. The wizard and ranger were unable to do anything, and the druid was stumped. About 3 rounds later, and after a few Swim checks (good thing the dice favored me, I had half-plate on at the time. :p ) The druid decided to use "Soften Earth and Stone" on the door, which quickly become mud. The room was full of water, so the other party members got hit with a surge of water and mud. The druid got hit by the mud, the water, and my Half-Orc Barbarian. I'm glad she didn't die. Yeah so that's it for my DnD stories of improbable or funny moments, at least for the time being. I'm interested to see what stories you have to tell.
5 Tactical Squad Marines
Let's see...funny D&D stories.
Ah, one from my first campaign went something like this:
We were a very unlucky group, suffering one fatality after another on a myriad of traps and monsters. We became great friends with members of a local religion that worshipped and specialized in Death...the thing was that they could bring people back for free save that they needed the ingredients (one large uncut gemstone of some X gp worth).
Now, the way that resurrection worked in that campaign was that 1.) you needed a spell + component to activate the resurrection process and 2.) you needed some body part from the person you wanted to revivify.
The thing was, that the body part used would meld into the now alive form but remain "undead".
We usually just took fingers, toes, or something to revivify people...but at one point the cleric died and I grabbed the nearest bit I saw before we hightailed it out of there, that bit was his left leg.
Some adventuring for components later the cleric is back alive and well, save for his now undead left leg, so he walked with a limp.
This didn't really affect him that much until we faced off against the evil necromancers sometime later...a particularly powerful one called upon his fell powers and controlled all the undead in a area...along with the clerics left leg. The cleric proceeded to kick himself to death while we fought off hordes upon hordes of animated nasties. That was quite humerous.
We had a guy that demanded to play a psionic character in our group...we never read the psionic handbook but he had so we didn't really mind...even though we had no idea what he was doing most of the time.
At one point after being taken hostage by some orks squatting in a castle and AFTER escaping into the catacombs we meet an Athach (three armed giant) who's very dumb. After some discussion he becomes angry and tries to grab one of us. The Psion jumps up and declares that he will slay the foul beast and charges him.
The Athach stands up, grabs the psion with his middle hand, picks up two Large Greatclubs and *roll*...double critical hit...*POP* goes the psions head and the rest of us hightail it out of there before the Athach stops laughing.
Your fluffraping hurts my eyes. - TehDarkPredator
Hmm...Well this story is more an instance than a story, and more unbelievable than funny, but hey, here it goes.
-Our (fairly high level) party had secured ourselves a keep in which to base our operations, but unfortuneately a huge army of Githyanki had been amassing in the underworld for some unknown reason, intent on destroying us all.(Don't ask, our DM is just plain weird). We thought up a battle plan- we would send out our paladin on his special mount to go up to their lines, and make them chase him as he turned back and rode into our castle. We would then seal off the kill-hole secition of the castle (the bit before the keep) with all the Githyanki in it, and pepper them with arrows and boiling oil until they all died, saving us from fighting.
So, we sent out our Paladin, he rode out to their lines, and he got his horse shot out from under him. He couldn't run away fast enough in Full-Plate, so he was forced to fight them. He ended up killing them all before we even found out he was in trouble. :lol:
Ok, this was in a very high-powered campaign, and the DM had allowed us to choose whatever race we wanted, even monster characters, without adjustment penalties. We had a fire elemental sorceror, a troll fighter, a half-something something monk. But as I didnt feel like playing monster characters that day, I just made a sun elf cleric of mystra (hoping to become a chosen of mystra at a higher level to even that out). Never the less, the DM told me that I was chanceless, and that I would never survive and bla bla, but as luck would have it, I survived to become level 5, where the party sought out an ancient black dragon, whos treassure we needed to buy magic items enough to destroy an insanely powerful vampire lord. We enter the lair of the beast, have a short conversation with it, charged it with all our might, and truly massive damage was exchanged between it and us. 20-30 rounds later, I was the only survivor of the party, having been too much of a coward to step in harms way. However, I was still down to 10 hp in the round in which the last party member (the troll fighter) fell. I, however went first, and summoned a thoqqua (fire/earth elemental monster), and in the following round it went first at initiative 17. Imagine:
Me: "At least my thoqqua goes before the dragon, Im 100% dead if it damages me again!"
Dm: "You are so naive, you are dead meat. And I tought that you guys were cool. Loosers. Now, roll the attack for your little worm."
Me: "Oki-doke." *rolls* "natural 20, the thoqqua hits the dragon!"
Dm: "Fool! The dragons damage resistance is far too mighty for that worm to break. Too bad, for the dragon is so f*cking close to death that you wouldnt believe it."
Me: "Great, thoqquas deal 2d6 points of fire damage too, and as far as I remember, black dragons have no resistance to fire.." *rolls* "7 fire damage for your big bad lizard."
Dm: "F*ck! You killed it! I dont believe it! And you were just a stupid elf!" F*ck!"
The lesson to be learned: dont mess with elves... ever :ninja: I got away with more than 300k gc, and my character now has a +3 longsword of speed, +5 elven chain, +5 large shield, +5 amulet of armor, +5 ring of protection, and many, many more funny items. That was a truly funny session
Last edited by Sareld; October 10th, 2005 at 02:43.
My brother's swashbuckler Salvador Le Perignon was a bit of a ladies' man and his bravery was greater than his fighting ability, though he was still pretty handy with his rapier.
In a mid level adventure we were traveled to an outer plane to get a gem or whatever. We'd found our quest object and were trying to get home when we found a little grove.
Salvador started chatting to the grove tender, who was some sort of nymph-like lady, and eventually convinced her to go off with him. The rest of us waited nervously as they wandered off. About half an hour later (game time) Salvador comes tearing out of the bushes naked yelling:
"That chick was the God of Love's daughter and he just came back and he grabbed me and I punched him and it didn't hurt him so I ran and he's coming and let's GET THE HELL OFF THIS WORLD!!"
Man that was hilarious. The God of Love caught us easily and kicked Salvador's ass down to 1 hit point. The rest of us just stood around looking like we didn't know him.
Then the God of Love ejcted us back to our plane without the bloody thing we'd come all that way to get.
I ran out of stones for my staff sling, so I picked up my hot potato I was eating, and flung it at the hobgoblin leader. It didn't do too much, but it's the thought that counts, eh?
Alright, I think the wierdest, and funniest thing to happen to me was when we were in this cave. Our DM was being a dumbass and had us in a realm where there were nazi vampires (real original). We were all Lvl 5 and I was a Human barbarian/rogue. At the beginning of our adventure, our cleric got bored and decided to make a jug of holy water JFL. Anyways, we were fighting the head leader nazi vampire and he was on a wall. We were almost dead and out of ways to attack him, or hurt him for that matter. I remembered that our cleric made a jug of holy water, so I had him hand it to me. I said that I was going to throw it at the vampire, which was only 15ft away. Now lets do some math. There are 16 oz. in a cup. There are 2 cups in a pint. There are 2 pints in quart. There are 4 quarts in a gallon. Normally, that would be 248d4 holy water damage. He had me roll to see if I could hit him. I rolled high, and got him in the back. Because our DM was being cranky though, he only had me do 36d4 against the vampire, but even so, I did 61 damage against it, which was enough to kill it. We still laugh now at how we won against it.
"In the battle of Trechamov VII they became ghosts. They're strength was already steel." - The Regiment of Death , author unknown.
I had a Dwarf character in a group I was GMing (actually WFRP but same difference for this thread) he was always doing random funny stuff. One time the group needed to break into a house to recover some documents, the elf says cause a diversion. The dwarf takes 30 minutes wondering over to the other side of the city where he proceeds to break into a warehouse full of Brandy, he casts fire ball (he was a wizard), the whole place goes up nearly killing the dwarf and setting the adjacent ware houses on fire. By the time hets back to the group half the city is on fire. The rest of the group is wondering whats going on and when the dwarf kicks in the front door he says "Trust me no one is going to care about a few burglars".
same character got his hands on a river boat a mechant barge to be exact, since it had encumberance storage of 50,000 he looted absolutly everything, to the extent that peoples furniture was in that boat as well as a small armoury of weaponry, shame a mutant pig sunk it.
Finally that dwarf character had numerous insanities (mostly revolving around going bezerk) one of his insanities was IBS which stands for Irritable Bowl Syndrome basically you get an irristable urge to crap randomly. Made some very funny moments.
Choas Lord :Now you fools you will die!
Thungrim (dwarf): Prehaps but.......I have to go right now!!!!!
Well Ive Been Playing (mostly Dming, Or As They Call It Now Gming) For Over 10 Years Now So Ive Had My Share Of Weird, Strange, And Just Plain Funny Stuff Happen.
One Of Them Was This Time The Group I Was Running Was "hired" To Go To An Island And Kill The "dragons" On The Island (the Locals Thoght They Were Dragons, Stupid Peasents) Anyway One Of The Group Had Never Seen A Dragon Before And Contended They Were Not Real....so There Going Along When Said Charactor Spots This Huge Monster Reptile Thing Turns To The Dwarf(the Great Self-proclaimed Drogon Killer) And Askes "is This One Of Your Drogons"...well The Triceratop Proply Charged And Trampled Him To Death...dispatch Creture Raise Pc Explain That Dragons Stand Up Right Most Of The Time (yeah Right What Eva) Continu On Adventure....later On He Spots Another Huge Nasty Reptile Standing Upright This Time..."is This Your Drogon?" Munch Munch Eaten By A T-rex As Is Most Of The Party But As The Dwarf Is Being Swallode He Explains He Is Going To "drag His Axe Down Its Throat" Didnt Help Any...finaly Kill Off Creture Raise Pcs..promptly Return To Village And Slaghter Every Last One Of The People That Hired Them, Which Was The Entire Village....and Still To This Day Said Character Has Yet To See These So Called Dragons And Beleives Anyone That Has Is A Loony
Or The Pc That Carries Aroud A Barrel Filled With Salt And The Arm Of His Dead Friend "dave" (dosent Have The Gold Or Anyother Resorce To Get Him Raised) When Confronted With A Problem He Askes Himself "what Would Dave Daisy Pusher Do?" Then Does The Excect Opposit....well Daves Dead Wouldnt You Not Do What Dave Would Lol
ive been playing for a feew years now and as after a few sessions, i said it. we had a guy turned into stone and a minitour was tearing up a small town and we had to get the guy back to normal for smoe reason or another. so we went looking for a wizard who might just happend to have a potion to fix the problem...it ended up being just me going inside of house in which we though was a wizards house and i went up the stairs. as soon as i got ot the top of the stairs, i had to make a reflex save. I had to make the relfex save because i was about to get hit by a sword. I mad the save and i immetiately got up and shouted "wheres the wizard" at a person attacking me. i still dont hear the end of that one but it was funnny.