'The Warlord' - by Warlord Vrrmik

[Captain Corrigan]

It is definitely an improvement, especially on the reaction of Vrrsik where before he was described as being chuffed. I would still suggest making the part where the crossbow bolts hit home more of a shock, with shorter sentences in the area to give it less of a lazy afternoon feel.Much better though, and I hope you recover soon, how did you damage your pelvis?-Corrigan

[Warlord Vrrmik]

OK, I've edited that in too. Made some minor changes to some sentences as well so I wasn't repeating words too much or over-describing so that I got exactly 1000 words. Hopefully the story is better. Thanks again mate!

In regards to my injury, I was doing some sprints and my right quadricep pulled off part of my pelvic bone. But it was a newly formed bone, so it was still reasonably weak (kind of like plastic). It's quite rare and it hurts like hell. The doctors said I'll be better in six weeks.

[Captain Corrigan]

Hmm, I bet you went and got yourself injured deliberately just so you got more writing time

Seriously though, that sounds nasty, get well soon mate!

-Corrigan

[Warlord Vrrmik]

Ha, of course, how could you see through my plan and disguise?

Thanks mate, much appreciated

[Captain Corrigan]

No worries mate, I meant it, pelvic injuries can be very awkward and unpleasant and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And I'm always happy to help a fellow writer.

-Corrigan