Librarium Online Forums banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,575 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Bartuc inspected the warriors under his command. Being the Warsmith’s right hand, he had his own bodyguard. They were the Elect of the Warsmith, the Chosen of the Gods. The best the 14th Grand Company of the Iron Warriors Traitor Legion had to offer. Bartuc had fought with these men on the damned grounds of Terra as a sergeant. Now he was a Chaos Lieutenant, and the warriors that were once the tactical squad he led were now his personal bodguard. His Warsmith, T’Lash Callah, had his own bodyguard too. Clad in Terminator armour, they too had fought on Terra, and were amongst the first to have breached the walls of the inner palace there. They had been great warriors then, and now, over ten millennia later, they were all but unstoppable.
The Iron Warriors were all cold-blooded warriors. Ferocious in battle, and with no trace of mercy, they had not met their match. No matter how formidable a fortress seemed, it would be under Iron Warrior control in a few weeks at most.
The Warsmith had led his Grand Company on countless battlefields, and just as many victories. The Warsmith was not only an unstoppable warrior, he was also a brilliant strategist. The Warsmith had caught the eye of the Dark Gods, and bore their Gifts he had received for his tally of victories. Though he wasn’t always present at the battlefield himself, he always planned the coming battles in every detail.
Bartuc was sometimes entrusted with the command of the army, when the Warsmith didn’t deem it necessary to be present himself. He was the Warsmith’s most trusted Lieutenant. Bartuc knew there was another one, but had rarely seen him. He didn’t even know his name. He only knew it was a Psyker, and that he had never led a detachment of the Grand Company.

Bartuc and his bodyguard had reached the dungeons where the newest prisoners were being kept. He inspected them too, making a list of those who were strong enough to dig trenches and carry materials, and those who were too weak to do anything of use to the Iron Warriors. One man stared at him, with fear in his eyes. As Bartuc approached him his eyes widened with terror. ‘What are you looking at human?’ snarled Bartuc. ‘I... I was just looking around sir’ replied the terrified prisoner. Bartuc ripped out the man’s throat, watching unmoved as the man’s arms went to his neck, as if trying to keep the blood inside his body. As the man’s death spasms ended, Bartuc watched him unmoved. ‘Sir is what you say to your pathetic imperial officers. I am your Master, and you shall call me Master or find yourself cast to the Warp, where Daemons can feed on your worthless souls for eternity!’ he bellowed.
‘Heretic! The emperor is my lord and master!’ someone shouted. He looked to where the voice had come from. There was a woman, hanging in chains, her face a mask of hatred. He approached her, and replied. ‘Is that so. I don’t see any corpse here except for that fool I just killed’. The woman spat in his face. One of Bartuc’s Chosen pointed his bolter at her chest, waiting for Bartuc’s order to fire. But he didn’t. He wiped his face clean, and said ‘I can do the same thing. Except when I do that it actually hurts.’ He spat the woman’s face, his corrosive saliva burning her flesh, and she shrieked in pain. ‘You will pay for your crimes traitor’ she said, her eyes in tears as she tried to fight the pain. Bartuc activated his lightning claw, then changed his mind and deactivated it. He rammed the blades in her chest, causing another cry of pain. His fingers tightened around her heart, he looked her in the eyes, and ripped it out. He turned around, and walked out of this dungeon. He would not waste his time with prisoners while there were worlds to conquer. Bartuc was looking forward to a chance to slay a worthy opponent, and he knew his Warsmith would find a new world, and annihilate every one who dared to oppose the 14th Grand Company.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
506 Posts
YEAH go spit on women, go rip out men's throats! But the emperor shall concquer all!!!! :twisted:

Niece pieace of fluff there. Never heard much story's on the IW. Keep em coming!
 

·
Senior Member
Joined
·
1,019 Posts
Nice one! ;)

Whats with Iron warriors and defiant women? :lol: (See Storm of Iron)

Keep 'em comin
g!
 

·
Senior Member
Joined
·
1,019 Posts
If theyd gutted her on sight then she wouldnt have become...what she became :lol: I aint saying anymore since some people here might not have read it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
346 Posts
I was pretty funny with the women talking about the Emp, then he makes mention the only corpse in the room is the one he just killed
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
396 Posts
Interesting story... B)

Just wrote a bit of fluff, which is outright plagiarism in parts, although I did finish within 15 minutes....lol

Anyone interested its called "Storm of Rust",,,,hehehhe

:a
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
857 Posts
This is not *****ing on your story, BiD. I just having a writing tip.

You write much like Ernest Hemingway. Using short sentences. Which aren't very embellished. Like this. You might want to try to write longer ones. With more detail. And more action.

Content-wise, it's fine. Just work out some punctuational unpleasantness. (Score!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
969 Posts
Good story that. But i think some of you have some issues with women. There good for more than just killing. mwa haha ha.

There was a bit or repitition 'too' (hint), but apart from that, cushty.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top