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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
What follows is my DIY Chapter, the Angels of Infinity. I lucked out on a huge sale on used minis at my local
shop and since they mostly came assembled but unpainted I decided to come up with my own paint scheme that I
could enjoy eventually putting on a whole company... By and by that led to this:

Angels of Infinity

Chapter: Angels of Infinity


Origins: The Angels of Infinity are a very new chapter, created as part of the 26th Founding. Unlike most
chapters which are intended to find a home-world to occupy and only become fleet based after a long and fruitless
search the Angels of Infinity were always intended to be a fleet based chapter and draw their recruits from the
worlds they pass and fight on, taking boys as old as 7 from among the most disciplined warrior cultures they
encounter. Some among the chapter argue that with the loss of so much of their fleet in the Battle of Thin Blood
they should start a search for at least a temporary home-world in order to rebuild their numbers and lay down new
hulls for their fleet. Weather the Chapter Master agrees or disagrees with that proposal is something he keeps to
himself.


Home World: The Chapter Fleet is made up of 1 battle barge and 5 strike cruisers, with 20 assorted escort
ships, and a smattering of support vessels, but rarely gathers at full strength. They formerly possessed a second
battle barge, the Infinitem Astera, and three more strike cruisers, but they were destroyed in the Battle of Thin
Blood in the Armageddon system. Their Surviving Battle Barge is called the “Finity's End” and is home to the
majority of the chapter. They are seeking to find a way to have more ships built, but so far no luck.


Combat Doctrine: Other than not fielding scouts very often (Considering placing half trained marines at
risk unacceptable in most situations) the Angels of Infinity are almost wholly codex in their tactics. However
off the field they are abnormally mercenary, encouraging their troops to collect "spoils of war" and negotiating
contracts with any imperial force they involve themselves with for repayment for their services in chattels,
goods, kine, and the right to screen the local youth for potential initiates. Even their fleet is partially made
up of captured ships, with a handful of escorts being ones they took by force in the re-conquest of the rogue
Baffin Sector.


Organization: As might be expected of such a 'young' chapter the Angels of Infinity are strictly codex in
their organization, with the exception of fielding an “Emperor's Champion” in honor of the Imperial Fists who
saved the chapter from destruction during their last major fleet engagement in 111 M42 when they were set upon by
a far larger Ork force in the Armageddon system. Though they are young they have a large number of Terminator
Suits and Dreadnoughts comparatively speaking, having been equipped with a goodly number when sent out from Mars
and not having irretrievably lost any of them thus far. The Angels of Infinity are under strength compared to a
codex chapter after the loss of so many battle brothers in the Battle of Thin Blood, but are making up their
losses slowly, now numbering about 700 full brothers and another 100 initiates.


Gene-Seed: Ultramarine


Chapter Heraldry: The Angels of Infinity, being a young chapter, had fewer options in their heraldry than
once were available, as each chapter must be unique. However,even after 12,000 years and over 25 foundings not
all the decent heraldic options were taken, though all the simplest ones have been. They therefore have a somewhat
odd look, but one that to them is very deeply meaningful.

The majority of their armor is black, a color shunned by most chapters due to being worn by the Black Legion of
the Chaos Space Marines, but in their case standing for the void of space. Their helms and gauntlets are gunmetal,
to remind them that they are the Emperor's armored right fist and that they must have minds and spirits of iron to
do their duty, while the central ridge of each helm is painted in a color showing their rank in the chapter,
starting with black representing infrared for initiates and going through the visible spectrum from red to violet
as they rise in rank until at last, the chapter master himself, and he alone, is allowed a white stripe for
Ultra-Violet rank. Their optics shine orange for the holy fire that fills their soul, and light of the star under
which they fought their first battle as an independent chapter.

Their power packs are gray, except the main intakes which are yellow, the same yellow as the Sun of the holy Sol
System from which humanity sprang and from which the Emperor sends forth the Astronamican which guides ships
through the warp. Their boots are painted brown, brown for the soil of Terra from which humanity arose and the
soil of each world on which they fight and humanity thrives, for even in deep space you must keep your feet
planted firmly on the ground and your soul grounded to the common soil of the human race from which each battle
brother was lifted up and for which they fight. Their shoulder pauldrons are white with an edge color showing the
company in which they serve so that their commanders can identify the best uses of each marine at a glance even
on chaotic battlefields, while the white center easily shows the chapter's Icons and squad markings. (Some
specialists have other colors on their right shoulder pad to make them stand out from the normal marines, such as
Apothecaries and Librarians.) To further Identify their company their knee cap covers are done in the same color
as the trim of their shoulder guards.

Any Wing or Aquila marking on their armor is done in gold, reminding them of the Golden Throne into which the
Emperor was interred, while instances of skulls are marked in several different styles depending on position in
the chapter and number of campaigns they have served in.


Iconography: The Chapter Icon is a black circle with four star bursts in it; yellow at the top for the sun
of Sol and The Emperor, which ever must be uppermost in their minds: red at the right for blood and battle, their
main duty and action; blue at the left for thought and reason, which while 'sinister' is necessary to do their
duty; and white at the bottom for cowardice and surrender,which they must always crush beneath their heel; each
included because they are the four most common colors of star which the Angels of Infinity fight under resting in
the black void of deep space.


Motto: Faithful Unto Infinity.
Battle-cry: “The Emperor's Power is Infinite!”


Notable Individuals of the Chapter:


Chapter Master Alfwoine Duneadane: (No Miniature Yet)
The commander of the chapter is one of the few surviving marines who was sent out from Mars as a novice to train
with the Contenders chapter as part of the new founding. He is now reaching the ends of Imperial Longevity
treatments without interment in a dreadnought, but refuses that honor, saying he would rather live and die a
marine fighting as a flesh and blood warrior than become the re-embryonic pilot of a war machine, and furthermore
knows his own mind well enough to be confident that he could never accept stepping down as chapter master were he
to be so inhumed. Alfwoine is the second chapter master of the Angels of Infinity, the first: his long time friend
Alexander Sur La Mere, having been killed when the Infinitem Astera was destroyed in the Armageddon System over
50 years ago.

The Chapter Master was born on Holy Terra to a pit fighter and an apostate battle sister. (She left her order
because she fell in love with Alfwhone's father...) He was taken for induction at the age of 7 when his parents
were swept up into the Veiled Service, but what haunts his sleep, even nearly 500 years later, is that he had a
baby sister...

Brother-Captain Alexei Alexeiavitch:
Youngest of the Brother-Captains of the Chapter Alexei is untried in command, but will rise to the occasion as
best he may. Promoted upon the death of his predecessor Brother-Captain Corem Johann, (A man of deep faith and
personal convictions, who many said ought to have become a Chaplain.) and at his predecessor’s dying orders,
Alexei is only 70 years old, scarce a full marine, but already more accomplished and talented than most marines
will manage before they pass their first centennial.

On paper Alexei commands the 7nth Company 'Reserve', but with the chapter as critically under staffed as it is
following their disastrous attempt to participate in the Armageddon war zone he has found himself on the front
line in command of an active battle group.


Brother-Captain Alexei carries his personal standard on his back, with a power sword and bolt pistol as his
weapons, both of which he is skilled at using.


Alexei was born to a noble family on the Agri World of “Barrier”, but was found to be suitable for implantation
as a space marine when he was only 5. He barely remembers his mother and knows nothing of his father except
Father Aquarius, the drill abbot of the chapter's recruits. He has always known he was destined for command, but
didn't expect to be thrust into the role so soon.


Brother-Librarian Jonathan Tannhauser:
Inducted from the same system as Alexei and one of his closest companions throughout their training
Brother-Librarian Jonathan Tannhauser, better known as Brother Jonah, has served with distinction for the 70 years
he has been part of the chapter along side his friend. The two trust each other implicitly and feel themselves
'brothers' in more of a sense than simply being from the same chapter.


Brother-Librarian Jonah's psychic talent is telepathy, and had he not been spotted by one of the chapter's other
Librarians when doing their sweep he most likely would be either possessed, dead, or sanctioned as an Astropath
by now. All in all he feels he has better served the Imperium by becoming a Librarian than any of the other fates
that could have befallen him.


Brother Jonah carries a force sword as his primary armament, won in a duel of psychic might against an apostate
psyker during the cleansing of Thurmond’s World. He, along with the rest of the librarians, tested the blade
extensively and found it untainted by chaos, for all that it had been carried by a traitor to the Imperium, and
now wields it proudly as a mark of his prowess. What is known to the Tech-Marines, but not to him, is that the
blade was once property of the Omega Marines, for whom it was fabricated, but their chapter ideology supports the
concept of'spoils of war' and so they will only return it if the other chapter finds out and asks for it back...


Brother Jonah's parents were simple miners in one of the few mineral rich zones of 'Barrier' the Tan Peaks Range.
When he was inducted he was 6 years old, but already a violent and bellicose boy, with skill at fighting and, had
it not been for his latent psychic talent, destined either for the gallows, the PDF,or the Guard. Instead he was
tested for potential induction, found suitable, and then sussed out by Brother-Librarian Mycroft Tanner to become
a Chapter Librarian.


Though he was a year older than Brother Alexei the two became friends, as there were only a few other boys
selected for induction from their world and none of them older than 3. They grew up amidst the preparations for
the chapter massing to fight on Armageddon, and cut their teeth as warriors during disastrous “Battle of Thin
Blood”, growing into their ranks as officers while the chapter experienced difficulties of rebuilding after that
calamitous engagement. That was more than 50 years ago now, and the chapter is approaching full strength once
more, at least in terms of Battle Brothers, but their fleet remains horribly reduced and the young marines all
have an immense chip on their shoulders,and are much too ready to leap in headlong where they should stand back
and/or be cautious, especially when facing Orks.


Venerable Brother Beaumarchais:
The Leader of the Dreadnoughts which supports Brother-Captain Alexei's formation is the oldest of the chapter,
though that says little considering the chapter is so young. Better Known as 'Brother Beau' Beaumarchais is a
venerable and skilled dreadnought pilot and has fought in many of the chapter's greatest engagements. What is not
known, except to certain members of the chapter apothecary, tech marines, and the chapter master, is that Brother
Beau was the primogenitor of the whole chapter, the very first test subject implanted with the Ultramarine gene
seed which all the members of the chapter now bear the descendants of in their bodies. He should have been
disposed of as waste materials after his prognoids were cultured but one of the Magos overseeing the process had
become fascinated with him because of his unusual alertness, and argued successfully to use him as a test subject
for a newly recovered STC package for the dreadnought design he now wears. Though no one but he and a few others
know this he has always been with the Chapter, and everyone who is not in on the secret wonders who he was, and
how they came to have a brother in a dreadnought before their histories say they went into their first
engagement...


Brother Beaumarchais is a wise and skilled warrior, but just a touch insane. He has lived his whole life in
forced growth tanks or interred in a dreadnought and the sensory deprivation got to him long ago.
Hypnodoctrination and his dreadnought body's sensory arrays keep the worst of it in check, but even so his mind
is not wholly there all the time...


Brother Beaumarchais is typically armed with one power fist with a flamer attachment and one heavy weapon such as
Las Cannon or Storm Bolter. He is skilled at using all weapons that can be mounted on a dreadnought and prefers to
have two Power Fists and two Flamers, but understands that the needs of the chapter outweigh his preferences. That
said he does 'throw his weight around' when they try to equip him with double ranged weapons instead of giving him
at least one "good arm".


Honorable Brother-Pilot Volta (NoMiniature Yet):
Thought the chapter has only 16 dreadnoughts to its credit three have been assigned to work with Brother-Captain
Alexei,(Possibly as a counter balance to his inexperience...) The Second of these is “Brother-Pilot” Volta, as he
likes to call himself.Volta was nearly a washout as far as marines go, none of his organs ever took well or easily
and required constant chem treatments to keep his natural cells from attacking them. The only reason he didn't
"wash out" was that he had a positive GIFT for piloting vehicles and the heart of a champion, though he did not
reach the benchmarks for size and strength expected of a marine on time he was your classic dwarf fighter: you
underestimated his Adamantium clad WILL at your own peril.


That would not have been enough eventually, they would have turned him into a chapter serf once his prognoids were
harvested, but fate intervened. During the Battle of Rachorkarn Ford on Throven he, only fully implanted scarce a
year before, got cut off from his squad and went toe-to-toe with the Warboss of the orkish war-band against which
they had been instructed to hold the ford. He took a nasty blow to the head and does not remember exactly how he
did it, but when the orks began to run in disarray and the rest of his squad found him he was screaming “THE
EMPEROR'S POWER IS INFINITE!!!” at the fleeing orks while throwing random chunks of vaguely sharp steel after
them from atop a mound of their dead fellows twelve feet high, including, right at the bottom, the Warboss: whilst
and at the same time utterly unconcerned that everything bellow his upper pelvis was missing, he had a Choppa
embedded in the left side of his skull right through his helmet, and his right arm was hanging severed at the
elbow connected only by a strip of gristle and skin. Few such clear candidates for dreadnought-hood have been
seen in the history of the chapter.


Strangely, once implanted into there-embryonic chamber of a dreadnought all of his organs started to behave
exactly the way they were always supposed to, which the chaplains, tech-marines and apothecaries took as a sign
from on high that this had always been his destiny.


“Brother-Pilot” Volta is not so concerned with the use of a 'good arm' as Beaumarchais is, and routinely requests
to be kitted with a storm bolter and missile pod as his weapons. He is equally comfortable with las-cannon and
Heavy Flamer attachments, or Double Missiles but something went wrong with his mind during the ordeal where he
earned interment in a dreadnought, and he cannot use his right arm correctly when it is fitted with a power fist
and flamer: it responds to his mental commands sluggishly and jerkily, forcing him to command it to hang limp and
basically throw it around like an oversize flail, or hold it stiff and aim with his body to use the flamer. The
Tech Marines mostly get around this by giving him a power-fist and flamer for his left arm and heavy weapon on
the right.


Brother-Dreadnought Jordanian (No minature Yet):
And last of the three we come to Brother-Dreadnought Jordanian.

Brother-Dreadnought Jordanian was interred in his sarcophagus following the Battle of Thin Blood were he piloted a
crippled Thunderhawk Gunship right down the maw of the Orkish Battle-Krooza' which was commanding the rival
fleet and touched off the reactor pile of it's central power plant. They picked him out of the wreckage two days
later, a barely living hunk of meat, and placed him into his dreadnought at once.

Since then he has fought in some of the chapter's more notable battles, such as the Calimshan Cleansing, where he
was briefly 'married' to Sister Angelica DuLac, pilot of an Adepta Sorortias Penitent Engine, due to local
customs forbidding unmarried individuals entering the areas of the cities marked as "Men's"/"Women's" zones if
they were not of the appropriate gender. Though the 'marriages' employed by the chapter and their Sororitas
allies were strictly political for some reason Jordanian has taken his 'wife's death hard, among other
things striping the copper wires from her 'corpse' and weaving then beating them into two bands that he wears
around the housings of his power fists. The chaplains whisper of hearing him chanting the names of their fallen
allies in the dead of night when he should be powered down, and everyone is gravely concerned for his stability.


Brother-Apothecary Duane Son-of-Osman:
Brother Duane is an elder among the chapter's Apothecaries, 350 years old and very skilled at his work. He has
been assigned to work with the young Brother-Captain as a mentor, having seen first hand the losses suffered by
the chapter during the early days when it's commanders were untried and inexperienced thus being able to give
good advice about what stratagems NOT to use at least.


Brother Duane is one of the people in on the secret of Beaumarchais' origins and reason for being with the
Chapter, which is why the two of them are assigned together, Brother-Apothecary Duane is well versed in the arcane
techniques for monitoring Brother Beaumarchais' nutrient and chemical balancing feeds, which help keep the
dreadnought sane and stable.


Tech-Marine Second-Class Brother Aristarchus: (No miniature yet.)
Brother Aristarchus has been educated in the mysteries of the Adeptus Mechanicus on the forge world of Ironheart,
and returned to his chapter a much more somber and calm individual. He rose through the ranks from Fourth-Class
to Second, and was assigned as the personal tender to the dreadnought Venerable Brother Beaumarchais, which he
tends reverently. He of course does not ONLY tend Brother Beau, he also cares for the land raider and other
vehicles of the 7nth Company, but the elder dreadnought is his main concern. Interestingly, Brother Aristarchus
does not know his special charge's secret, because he is a zealot of the Mechanicus religion and Brother Beau
fears that he would take offense to the abnormality of him becoming a dreadnought in the first place.




That's it so far: so, what do you all think? (Constructive Critique Welcome.)
 

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Awesome read mate! Only thing I would say is that your Chapter Master is all good with his age. Space Marines are pretty much immortal unless killed by combat which what all if not most Space Marines expect how they will die. The oldest Space Marine is Dante of the Blood Angels which is 1,100 or i think 1,200 years of age. They only age in the face but their body still stays strong.
 

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Dante has been chapter master for 1100-1200 years........ So he's older even than that. ;) The previous Chapter Master of the Black Templars was reportedly over 2000 years old before he was killed in action.

Nemo, sorry mate, I haven't read the backstory of your Chapter yet. I'll add something later.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I was under the impression that 500 years was the extreme outside for imperial rejuvenation treatments...

Is this an erroneous impression?
 

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For non-Astartes yeah (ie: Humans aka: Mortals), that's right. Astartes are on a complete other level though. They do not age (although their hair goes grey eventually) but their bodies and minds are engineered so that they do not degrade with age. Effectively they could live forever - There has been no 'fluff' that a Marine has ever died of old age (maybe in Rogue trader/2nd ED fluff) in modern fluff.

I think the Mechanicum are also able to extend their lifespan to even longer but that's because they simply replace body parts when they start to fail. They can't stop their brains eventually failing though which is why the oldest Magos are generally eccentric or utterly mad.
 

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Regarding your Chapter Master, you can say he was fatally wounded and instead of going into a dred, he chooses to fight on but the wound is taking its toll on him. (poison wound maybe?)
What are your goals for the fluff? To be close to canon as possible or just Lore friendly?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Ideally I would like it to look like something that would appear in Index Astartes while still fitting the minis I have, but I know that is an unrealistic dream.
 

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It's great to see someone putting so much effort into their fluff. If you don't mind, I'd like to raise a few points/make a few comments:

Dates:
The 26th Founding occurred in 738.M41, and consisted of two known chapters (the Mentors and Storm Giants). Adding another here is no issue. The current timeline in the 40k universe is at 999.M41, with Abaddon launching the 13th Black Crusade (this is the second time around for GW - the first time, back in the early 2000's, was a lot of fun and, like the Armageddon campaign and the WFB campaign, involved a massive world-wide campaign where players could actually record the results of their games online and various warzones were up for contest. I wish they'd do one of them again). You're timeline of M42 puts it beyond that, which could be problematic. If you want some older marines in your chapter, maybe reconsider the founding? The 25th Founding occurred in the latter half of M40 and has three known Chapters - Fire Angels, Scythes of the Emperor and Star Scorpions (lost). I'd check out the background on the Fire Angels, if I were you, as they sound like something similar to what you're wanting.

Ages:
As others have mentioned, Space Marines are stated as being functionally immortal. There's no recorded case of a SM dying of old age, nor of their skills/abilities declining as they get older (injuries excepted of course). Dante of the Blood Angels has been Chapter Master for 1100 years, and is believed to be at least 1300 years old, Logan Grimnar is over 700 and has been the Great Wolf for over 500 years and Ulrik the Slayer is said to be older still. Chaplain Cassius is said to be the oldest Ultramarine and is often referred to as venerable, but is only 400 years old. Then there's those who've been interred in a dreadnought, such as Bjorn the Fell-handed who actually took part in the Great Crusade.

Fleet Based:
Nothing wrong with this at all, as there are quite a large number of chapters that are fleet based. Most notable are the Imperial Fists and Black Templars. While neither have a homeworld (well, ok, technically the IF homeworld is Terra), they do maintain a number of Fortress Monasteries and Chapter Keeps one tithe worlds for recruitment, so there's nothing preventing your Angels of Infinity doing the same.

Combat Doctrine:
I have to say, this first part of not using scouts doesn't make a lot of sense. After suffering significant losses (just under 1/3) it's not unreasonable to expect a Chapter to continue to recruit heavily to replenish losses, and you'd probably expect to see a high number of Scouts (there's no set size on the Tenth Company, and recruits often number over 100). There's also the fact that the Scouts, while 'half-trained Space Marines' are in their final stages of implants and many have the full abilities of a full battle-brother, if not the experience. The only way they get that experiences, is by being deployed. Promotion to a Reserve/Battle Company isn't done automatically once training is complete, but instead only when casualties incurred requires it. And even Scouts are beyond the abilities of normal humans anyway. If you don't want to include Scouts in your army, that's fine, but saying that they don't consider the risk of endangering the scouts themselves as worth it isn't exactly correct. The rate of attrition is already astronomically high, and Space Marines are more than likely to consider any engagement involving Scouts as a further test of their abilities, albeit a rather final pass/fail one.
The "Mercenary" side of things needs work, though. Collecting trophies is fine, nearly every Chapter does it. Negotiating contracts, however, isn't really the done thing. Space Marines sit outside the normal hierarchy of the Imperium, in a weird co-dependent but largely independent role. They have the right to refuse any request they deem fit, bar that of the Emperor himself - although this isn't usually exercised. They don't negotiate so much as requisition, or if they do negotiate, it's generally with someone newly promoted and over the corpse of the person who said no. If they need supplies, they get them and there's not much that can be done about it. Considering their specialized wargear there's not many places outside of forgeworlds or their own armouries where their equipment can be produced, and they're pretty much self-sufficient.

Organisation:
Just a question around what you define as a 'goodly number' of Terminator suits, really. Very, very few Chapters (including the originals) can field a full company worth of Terminators (Dark Angels, obviously, Blood Angels maybe, IF can from memory and I wouldn't be surprised if the SW could too - they're not exactly codex compliant. Ultramarines can't anymore after their 1st Company were eaten by the Nids), and even then the use of those suits is usually only authorized when deemed worthy. Even then, those suits are usually millennia old, revered artifacts of the chapters. Very few have the resources and ability to craft new ones. So a young chapter getting a full 100+ suits is probably a tad unlikely.

Just a note on the founding/organization: It's not uncommon for some founding chapters, particularly where the geneseed is from a known chapter, to be given a command structure of Veteran marines from the parent chapter or a number of Chapters. This happened with the Fire Angels, who used the UM geneseed and were given a command structure raised from multiple UM successor chapters. This is a good way to start a new chapter as it gives the newly formed SM's experienced commanders and warriors to guide them through the initial stages.

Iconography: That's pretty cool and well thought out.

Notable Individuals:

Chapter Master: As earlier, all the stuff about him reaching the end of his natural life span at a spritely 500 isn't needed. The other thing that sticks out is that last throw-away line about him remembering his sister. All SM's a repeatedly mind-wiped and hypno-indoctrinated. Very, very few can remember anything of their early training, and next to none can remember anything prior to being a SM. The older they get, the more it fades. Some might keep trace of their lineage, particularly nobles, historic families etc, but they have no loyalty to them and no real connection. Other than that, pretty standard. Maybe throw in a couple of notable events (i.e. "Slew the arch-daemon of Tzeench Kasjkj-asdjfia2" or successful campaigns, etc.)

Alexis: 70 is extremely young for a Captain, but not unheard of. Ragnar Blackmane is was only a Space Wolf for 42 years before being declared Wolf Lord - however he is beyond exceptional (he went from Bloodclaw to Wolf Guard - something practically unheard of). The only other thing is that it's the Chapter Master / council that pick the Captains, not on order of their predecessors (although they can make strongly suggested recommendations...).

Librarian: Nothing untoward. As with the age of Captain Alexis, there's precedent of SM Chapters using weapons originally held by traitors - Logan Grimnars Axe is a good example - taken from a Champion of Khorne on Armageddon and re-consecrated. Parents background isn't really relevant, but it's up to you. And there's nothing stopping the Techmarines slapping a chapter badge on the sword and denying it should the Omega marines start asking questions...

Brother Beau: I think you're misusing the word primogenitor here. Primogenitor means the father. We know that you're Chapter comes from Ultramarine genestock - that means that their Primogentior is Guiliman. The progenitor chapter would be the Ultramarines. As I mentioned earlier, I'd probably have your command structure come from veterans from other Chapters. Brother Beau can be one of them, perhaps already interred in a dreadnought, to give his experience and knowledge to the newly founded chapter. If you still want him to have a 'secret' let it be that he's not really 'one of them' - maybe he still identifies as an Ultramarine or Novamarine or something but keeps that mostly to himself for fear of lowering Morale...

Volta: As it stands, he wouldn't have 'washed out' he would have been summarily executed/turned into a servitor. Weakness of body isn't tolerated, and if the implants reject it's pretty much terminal. The Progenoids are the second last implant received (the last being the black carapace), if the others weren't accepted properly he would never have been given them. Even then, the first takes 5 years to mature before harvesting and the second takes at least 10. Simply put they would not have wasted the time or resources on an unstable candidate who would threaten the most precious possession of the chapter with genetic instability. They would have terminated him. Other than that, why not keep him as a gifted pilot or tank commander, mortally wounded but continuing the fight beyond all reason (although, even for a Space Marine a Choppa to the brain is generally fatal...)

Jordanian: Space Marines are a bit beyond gender. Dreadnoughts even more so on account of them being a machine. Any "suggestion" like that probably would have been met with a powerfist to the face. That said, the idea of chanting a list of fallen allies is an interesting quirk. Maybe keep the copper band thing as a trophy remembering an honoured ally rather than a faux-wife?

Apothecary: Pretty standard, all good. Most Captains worth their salt have advisors around them (i.e. a Command Squad, Chaplain and Librarian).

Techmarine: Only thing to really say is that if he is a zealot of the Cult Mechanicus, he would revere Brother Beau because he's achieved a level of communion with machinery that the techmarine cannot, nothing else really matters. They're crazy like that.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you for the sagacious advice and critique!

When I do the 'V2' write up of the background I will be sure to incorporate most of those suggestions.

The thing with Brother Beau however is drawn from Index Astatrtes, vol:1, where it talks about the process of creating a new chapter.

(Also, the throw away line on the chapter master is as you say, a throwaway, and will be redacted in the total rewrite of his bio...)

I would start work on the new version of the chapter bio right now but I am writing this on a borrowed system since my own crashed and wont even boot any more, and don't have my original notes.

Still, thank you.
 
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