[eugen temba]

hey all, i have been wanting to play lizardmen for a long time mostly because there based on aztecs and because their dinos. but i have also want to play 40k. so my solution is to make a chaos space marine based on aztecs and such using lizardmen stuff like standards and such. My lord is going to be based on the Aztec hero popocatepetl i am hoping i could even get him in the signature santance holding his wife. my fluff is going to be he was once a hero of the space marines and fell love with a women (perhappes slaanesh's doings) but he was sent off to battle a demon horde (form which he got relics(will make sents when u finish)). when he returned she had died some how( my hero suspects witch hunters) taking her body and his chapter he tries to find away to bring her back of course, slaanesh some how turnes up. in the middle of thr ritual the witch hunters suspected of killing her turn up and caught the cultist off guard. although the hunters slew most of the marines and cultist. few escaped including my hero with the body of his love. though he escaped he lost all the relics he needed to bring her back including a "pure"heart with he got from when he killed the DH who was with them to collect the demon relics. with the men he had left he took an oth that he would bring back his lost love and cut the heart out of the witch hunter that did this.

well thats my tale in short.

also i have a squad of plague marine here i dont no how to fit in to fluff except maybe before tring it on his love may a couple of willing soldiers but died. and revived my hero with help from nurgle

 

[Mushin]

werent you just making a fast, fox based chaos army?

well anyways, while theres definetly room for an aztec-esque marine chapter (as well as chaos) or even an imperial guard regiment, im not sure how it would be represented game-wise. would you be a total foot slogging army?

anyways fluff wise the whole wife thing seems cool but for him to turn to chaos something else would have to happen, and this DH with the pure heart is a GK or what cause inquisitors to me rarely have a 'pure heart' considering theve likely destroyed millions via exterminatus.

also once hes turned to chaos, couldent he just round up another set of cultista to recast the spell.

also i think itd be cool if he made a pact with a nurgle daemon or nurgle himself to stop his wife's body from decaying.

and is the premise that he and his group are searching for the reagents in order to bring her back?

anyways, i obviously need more info

SL

 

[eugen temba]

about the fox thing i have a problem sticking with one army , one day i have a good idea, the next i have idea i think is cooler.

i don't really no about the what would you use like souls , say he had to sactirfic the ones who killed her or he had to collect 100 souls for the dark prince

yes true he could just gather more cultists but he need speacial relics whitch was taken from him by the witch hunters and of course the souls/heart

 

[daelrog]

Ever seen The Mummy? Not to bash your idea, it's an interesting one, but it sounds exactly like the plot of The Mummy. Also, come up with an explanation to why this marine has a love interest. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but it takes an extreme circumstance for that sort of thing to happen. Also, is this chapter loyal or renegade? I can't tell. They act like renegade marines, but are they trying to stay loyal to the Emperor?

 

[eugen temba]

k well i have changed my mind agian(like always) and i got a new idea.also guess this wasnt a good idea cuse it got cut up pretty bad thans anyways

peace

 

[daelrog]

Well, if you want to go another direction, that's your choice. I do however, take exception to you saying that your piece got cut up. Most of the problem with your story was that you didn't have enough detail. You needed to go more in depth in order to make this idea unique, and to clear up a few questions. No one here wants to tear your ideas down, they were comments to help make the ideas that you had better.
Good luck with your future stuff, and don't think some constructive criticism is cutting your stuff up. Unless you're the Mozart of writing, everyone has to make changes to make it better.

 

[harlequin2262]

First of all, it makes reading a LOT easier if you use punctuation and correct spelling.

As far as your idea goes, the concept (Aztec themed marines) sounds good. You might just need to tweak it to make it more believable. Perhaps have the marines home planet worship a feathered serpent, and practice sacrifice (careful with that, as that could easily be interpreted as Chaotic).

Marines don't fall in love. It just doesn't happen. They're not really human anymore.

You could adapt the story so that they might be seeking a golden heart with which to revive the emperor. Or a chapter master. Or possibly just a relic of some sort.

I've seen most Aztec stuff as being more appropriate for Chaos, but the idea of creepy, forest-dwelling marines that daubed themselves with blood seems rather cool.