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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This is all in fun so please take it that way and maybe have a little?

I started reading over some threads here in the enhanced forum and it seems that we have a problem:

Human beings are flawed!

I know, I know, it came as a shock to me too!

But there it is none the less.

We eat meat regardless of origin, we destroy our environment, we overpopulate the area we reside in, we kill each other and every other life form we encounter, some of us believe in invisible entities that squirted us out from ether and now refuse to have anything to do with us while others believe that 'to believe' is a ridiculous belief, we mistreat our young and elderly, we steal from ourselves and others, we are generally a nuisance and unpleasant to be around. ( if I missed anything feel free to pile on, we don't mind because as humans our narcism, and hypocrisy know no bounds )

So what are we going to do about this?

We can't just all commit mass suicide.

I mean, some of us get upset when another of us gets the idea to speed as many humans toward our inevitable confrontation with our invisible creator or impending dissolution into nothingness. In fact if such people are caught trying to help us acheive our inevitable goals they are purposely escorted towards the end themselves! :wacko:

Ok, so maybe you begin to see our dilemma.

What to do, what to do.

Hmm, you know it occurs to me that there may just be a perfect solution for all this.

There is one creature on earth that is the polar opposite of humanity.

It is practically non aggressive, it won't eat meat no matter how you cook it ( in fact if it did eat meat it goes quite quirky and dies! ), it won't breed beyond it's environments ability to sustain it, it takes quite good care of it's young and old, it doesn't believe in anything, and are actually quite pleasant to be around.

Have you guessed it yet?

That's right, the humble cow!

So perhaps if humanity 'steered' ^_^ itself towards become more like our mighty bovine brethren; or better yet actually genetically altered ourselves to become cows; maybe, just maybe we'd have a chance!

Oops, I forgot about the methane!

These damn hooves are hard to work with, can someone please light a match? :rolleyes:

Anyone else got any suggestions?
 

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Son of LO
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Pardon my last reply, I'm not sure what came over me.

Anyhow, I was grazing over your post and I actually found it to be a very mooving piece. I mean, imagine the greener pastures that humanity could stampede out to if only our genetics were properly pasteurized?

As a race we are really hoofing it towards our own destruction, however, if we were more like cows then we could actually help the planet by replenishing the atmosphere with ozone from our methane.

Dairy I say it, that if humanity never longed for a steak again, then the entire planet may not be put out to pasture in the cold depths of the milky way.

It's definitely an idea worth chewing over for a while, I'll give you that much.
 

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Probably safer.

And here I thought that the title was indicating that this would be about forced eugenics.

I was expecting to see all sorts of wild claims, broad sweeping statements, flames flamed, names called and flashbacks to historical atrocities and the like.

Instead its a thread about humans being better off as cows.


Well, I'm sure 'the planet' would be better off if I was some sort of herbivorous animal, but unfortunately, being what I am, my viewpoint is a bit more binocular.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
Grey said:
Well, I'm sure 'the planet' would be better off if I was some sort of herbivorous animal, but unfortunately, being what I am, my viewpoint is a bit more binocular.
Hey, I hear ya man.

But the only other lifeforms that had some of the qualities that are apparently desirable in an effectively neutered/lobotomized human was the common garden slug.

I took a straw poll and while there were some advocates that wisely pointed out how some humans glued to their computers and t.v's are already begining to resemble and exhibit slug-like qualities it was overwhelmingly more desirable to the pollsters to remain in the mammallian(sp) category( I think it was the whole, "Who wants to reproduce asexually?" question that may have focused more people on cows).

But your post reminds me that I may have left out one important key to humanity ascending to glorious 'Bovinehood'.

The complete eradication of all predatory species occupying this planet is our final solution. We would otherwise be helpless against them. It's the only way to ensure the peaceful transition from human to cow!

The shell of humanity we currently labor in can then be molted in favor of our new identity; as it will have served it's purpose in securing the future for the untold millennia of tranquility that will be ours once the transformation is complete. :D .

In Cud we trust!
 

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Son of LO
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What's wrong with humanity..

If you ask me, we should go the opposite way from the cows, erase the last traces of useless herd instinct, and move from a sociable hunter gather creature into a solitary predator. The effect is the same.. we lose the ability to exploit the environment, and heck, we're a hell of a lot more dangerous. The cows of this world get eaten.

Ultimately though, the modern human is the product of millions of years of physical and social evolution. I'm not going throw that away, even if it costs the planet.. We're damn successful at what we do. Thanks to our big brains, omnivorous digestive systems and social lifestyles we're the most adaptive, able creature on this world at present, which makes it ours until such a time as a better species wipes us out for food.

We don't owe it to anyone to become cows.. If anything, we owe it to nature to do what she built us to do.
 

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I'm assuming that Joker was/is kidding.

Then again, its hard to tell what people are actually saying without the auditory and visual clues we have in 'real' life.
 

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ISIS Secret Agent Squishy
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Agent Smith said it perfectly when he called Humanity a virus.
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oh, do you want more from me? damn, now I've got to think for myself :(
Okay then, Humanity; ultimately flawed (and damned), but capable of so much good and....and...well we can have sex for pleasure, that's got to be a good thing doesn't it?
I think the primary issue with building a "better human" is that it requires everyone to agree on what consitutes a "better human". Personally I reckon that all men should be me, and all woman should be super attractive (and gagging-for-it). I dare say others would disagree, but if things were they way I want, then you'd all agree with me anyway.
But when you think of the way things are at the moment, it's more likely that all men would end up looking like Woody Allen, and all women look like that Wildenstein freak-woman.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
The_Giant_Mantis said:
I know Joker was kidding, but the fact that he bothered to post suggests there is a point behind it.
I do appreciate all replies friends, but I must admit to nothing more than some harmless satirical fun!

Sometimes I get crazy ideas in my head and just run with them. It drives my co-workers, friends and family nuts when I do it. Sorry for the confusion.
 

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Of course this seems to be a slightly unserious thread but...
Perhaps the old idiom "the person is smart the people are dumb" can be the best answer here. Maybe society needs to not only needs to be reformed, and done so continually, so that the idiom no longer has a place. Of course the way to do that is in debate, but even a different kind of evil would be nice right now.
 
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