And a few more of them from the site...
When Chuck Norris goes to sleep he has the night light on. Not because Chuck Norris is a afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.