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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've always been wanting to write some fanfiction (apart from the basic army fluff) surrounding my Imperial Guard Army (the Kado 3d Cavalry Regiment), however I have never been able to think of anything for a story. Until a couple of weeks ago. A particular event in a game I had against an Eldar player inspired me to write this, and now I am finally doing it. If you guys like it, I may consider writing some more. Perhaps even a novel surrounding the main character. Anyway, here we go.

Private Jenkins, soldier of Airborne Platoon Sigma of the 1st Battalion of the Kado 3d, sighed and held his breath tightly as he lifted up Sergeant Corvius, well... what was left of him, anyway. He walked quickly to the grave he had dug and dropped the charred arms, feet and half of a head into the dark, damp hole that was to be Corvius' eternal place of rest. He quickly piled the mound of earth back into the grave, bordered the patch of earth with rocks from the nearby cliff of the Valley of Fallen Heroes, then thrust the Sergeant's lasgun by the bayonet behind the grave before resting the helmet on it. The lasgun and helmet were replicas of the original items of the Sergeant; his lasgun and helmet had been incinerated by the Eldar Tank's lethal beam of destructive light; but the replica helmet still bore the Sergeant's name, rank and unit details, so it would suffice.

Jenkins stood back and looked to the left of Corvius' grave to the graves of the other eight soldiers of his squad, all dug by him, all having replica lasguns and helmets serving as headstones, as was tradition among the regiments of Kado. Jenkins had been the only survivor of the sudden and merciless attack by the Eldar tank, and, as the still-living members of squads buried their fallen squad-mates, Jenkins had volunteered to bury all of his friends. He had felt that he should, and it wasn't as hard as it seemed. Actually digging graves wasn't hard work; just long work. And placing his friends inside the graves wasn't a problem either; there wasn't much left of any of them.

Jenkins flashed back to the shattering event in the battle. His squad had grav-chuted into battle to attack a squad of the Eldar basic foot soldiers. They had, in a barrage of lasfire, killed most of them and caused the rest to suddenly flee. However, as they formed up and reloaded, the Grav-Tank, with its crystal-tipped turret, snuck up on them. Jenkins remained baffled to this day how something so large could move so silently. Only Jenkins had time to duck for cover. The rest of his squad were not as lucky, and were annihilated in the beam of light. Jenkins first instinct was to run like mad, but when Corporal Brannigan's meltagun landed in front of Jenkins, the charred hand still gripping it, Jenkins was instead filled with white-hot lust for the blood of the Eldar, and had seized the meltagun, ran screaming toward the sleek Eldar craft and destroyed it in a magnificent explosion just seconds before it could charge its laser to annihilate another squad.

Jenkins was technically still a Private (there had not been a promotion parade for him yet), but the senior officers of the 3d Regiment had decided to allow him to skip the rank of Corporal and immediately become a Sergeant. This was not just because of his heroism in the battle, but also because of his special case; his squad would soon be filled with new recruits, and someone with experience was needed to lead them. Jenkins had always longed to be a Sergeant; but he had wanted to lead his friends; the soldiers he had known for years, the guys he had gone through Basic Training with.

After Jenkins and the rest of the Kado Regiments present were dismissed, under orders to return in four hours for the funeral proceedings, Jenkins walked down the Valley of Fallen Heroes past the graves. The valley was around around 5 kilometres wide and stretched in length for dozens of kilometres. The graves of soldiers stretched 10 kilometres from one end of the valley to where Jenkins had just buried his friends. Each kilometre in length Jenkins walked brought him back one millenium, until he reached the beginning of the Valley where soldiers from the dark times of the Horus Heresy itself were buried. In the Horus Heresy the heroic General Frederick had formed the original Kado Regiments and led them to massive victory against the pawns of Tempest Hive, whose people's minds had been dominated by a terrible daemon. Frederick and his men had buried the thousands of fallen loyalist soldiers at this end of the Valley, using their lasgun-mounted helmets as headstones. In honour of this sacrifice, the Kado Military, to this day, continue to bury the soldiers who are killed in action in this manner.

Jenkins looked down the valley across the tens of millions of graves. He began to wonder, was it really worth it? Over ten millenia, his world had sacrificed the lives of tens of millions of brave young men on the altar of war. And this was just his world; there were a million other Imperial worlds that had made similar, or even greater, amounts of sacrifice. And yet, the war continued to rage just as furiously as it always had. In fact, the problem only seemed to get worse by the day. The Ork population continues to grow and the sinister forces of the Eldar and Traitor Marines continue to ferociously and mercilessly raid the Imperium. On the Eastern Fringe of the galaxy, the Tau Empire's constant growth threatens to rival the dominance of the Imperium. That is, it will if the ravenous Tyranid Hive Fleets do not devour the Tau and the Imperium first. And the rumours he had heard of the Necrons, soulless, nigh-indestructible killing machines did not make things seem any brighter.

A sudden, sharp beeping sound roused Jenkins from his daydreaming. He checked his watch. The beeping had signalled the passing of yet another hour. "Crap," he muttered. "The funeral starts in one hour. I gotta move!"
 

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i really enjoyed the beginning. How you portrayed just the soldier burying his dead. Near the end however, i didn't really like the rant, as i don't see how just a private in the Imperial guard would really know about all those things, ecspecially the necrons. It's not even that like theres censorship about those enemies, it's also that they are all on different parts of the galaxy, so it's hard to say your fellow knows about them all.

I like the way you write however! good work

(ps. A soldier named Jenkins that SURVIVED??! lol)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the reply! Yeah, you do have a point there about the Guardsman's knowledge of threats around the galaxy, I guess I kind of forgot somewhere along the way that he was a mere Private.

And also, I try to move away from trends if I can, hence why Jenkins survived. :p
 

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Dear All Concerned,


Nice job, although just a few things:

1. It is very unlikely that one guardsman who just happened to pick up a melta gun and happened to know how to use it killed a tank in one shot. What I would do is expand a bit. Make it an eldar raiding party, and as opposed to them "not hearing it coming", it could be a last stand waiting for reinforcements, etc.

Just a heads up. I hope I didn't sound to offensive in this post, I really don't mean too.

Great Job!

-ythc
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dear All Concerned,


Nice job, although just a few things:

1. It is very unlikely that one guardsman who just happened to pick up a melta gun and happened to know how to use it killed a tank in one shot. What I would do is expand a bit. Make it an eldar raiding party, and as opposed to them "not hearing it coming", it could be a last stand waiting for reinforcements, etc.

Just a heads up. I hope I didn't sound to offensive in this post, I really don't mean too.

Great Job!

-ythc
Well, a melta-gun doesn't seem to be all that complex a weapon for someone with basic weapons training to use (if it's prepared to fire). But I do agree that I probably should have expanded more on the entire situation.

Also, don't worry about offending me. Your message is anything but offensive, any constructive criticism is helpful and welcome. If I wasn't prepared to take constructive criticism, then I wouldn't have posted my story here. :)
 
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