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The Alchemist
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Saw a similar thread over on Warseer, but my account there doesn't seem to work any more - so why not make one over here? Post the most pitiful/unfair game you've ever seen!

For me, it was a beginners game of WH40k on a small beginners table, Tyranids versus Chaos - Gaunts + 2 Carnifexes vs Chaos marines and a Baneblade (probably not point balanced - or legal - but hey, it's beginners). A couple turns in and the Baneblade gets an Apocalyptic Explosion and everything on the board dies. I don't know if the participants thought this was awesome or not, but it did shorten the game slightly ;)
 

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Nox
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1,705 Posts
Saw a similar thread over on Warseer, but my account there doesn't seem to work any more - so why not make one over here? Post the most pitiful/unfair game you've ever seen!

For me, it was a beginners game of WH40k on a small beginners table, Tyranids versus Chaos - Gaunts + 2 Carnifexes vs Chaos marines and a Baneblade (probably not point balanced - or legal - but hey, it's beginners). A couple turns in and the Baneblade gets an Apocalyptic Explosion and everything on the board dies. I don't know if the participants thought this was awesome or not, but it did shorten the game slightly ;)

Mine would be....

Against a newbie with the old chaos (3rd ed) list i ran. He was one of the people that get themselves into the mindset that they can beat anyone. I was in the shop building on a sunday(the day for the less expierienced at my old store), and this guy asked me for a game. Now, this was about a year n a half ago, so i was only 13 at the time. So i was playing with my Night Lords, he wanted a 1500 point game. My list was something along the lines of: Chaos Lord, 2x6 chosen, 2 oblits, a defiler, about 24 marines, 24 raptors, 6 havocs and 6 furies. Everything had infiltrate and the shootier elements had stealth adept.

He took a fairly bog standard ultramarines army. With Chaplain, about 30 Tactical Marines, 5 Assault Marines, 8 Scouts, a Predator, 5 Termies, 2 Land Speeders, 8 Grey Knights and a Land Raider. I think thats it anyway.

So anyway, i got first turn, he set up really badly, and by the end of turn one, i had killed about 75% of the army. Everything was in range in turn one >.>. My chosen, and raptors hit the Tactical marines like a brick wall. I killed 28 Marines with them. My normal squads took out the Termies with plasma and bolters. The Raider got popped by the oblits. The Assault marines and chappy died to the defiler and havocs.

It took about 30 minutes, and i just thought "Wow, this was pointless, i could be building my Daemon Prince".

Thats mine.
 

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having lost far more games than i have ever won (i blame the dice... if any of you ever see my dice rolls, you would probably see why), i would have to say that most of the truly pitiful games i have witnessed were my own...

The worst that comes to mind was my beloved space wolves against my friend's necrons, cant remember the line-up exactly, but it generally involved lots of 1s to hit and my erstwhile opponent rolling lots of 4+'s to get his troops onto their feet, final casualty list, my entire 1500pt space wolf army for 6 flayed ones... it was a special day, i think i was whimpering under the table after about turn 3
 

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Resident Mongoose
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797 Posts
Well, there was the time...
Some at my local GW challenged a dark eldar player to a match vs IG. They set up length-wise, meaning something like 40" or so of space between the two opposing armies. He let the DE player have the first turn, while making a comment about the high number of scantily clad women, slight stature, and general inferiority in terms of manliness in DE armies as opposed to his cadians. Obviously, this is not LO appropriate, so I'll let your imaginations ponder the details. The archon, and only the archon, flies up in his raider, disembarks, moves 6", fleets 5", and charges 12" into blue platoon first squad. He kills five in H2H, then rest run, he sweeps on and consolidates into 3rd squad. Over two rounds of CC, he kills this, and consolidates into 2nd squad, and the platoon HQ charges in too. Three more rounds of CC see everyone facing him killed. At this point, he's killed a platoon with one man by turn 3. None of the rest of his army had moved at all. Suffice to say, he won in the end.
 

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One Awesome Dude
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1,902 Posts
Well, I regrettably did not witness it - but one of my best buds plays a pure Grey Knight army, usually takes a lot of losses since they're his only foot troops. He played against a new Necron player - He didn't lose a single model the entire game. It was a slaughter. Night Fighting kept him from being shot, and bad rolling took away whatever he did manage to hit.
 

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Suffer not the Unclean
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2,251 Posts
I've seen a fair number of games won by players through stalling. That to me is the most pitiful, beardy, unsporting, whatever you want to call it thing imaginable. Far worse than any 'power' list or perverse misreading of the rules that you could come up with.
 

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Senior Member
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459 Posts
Most pitiful game I've witnessed has to be a game of Necromunda a few years back. At the club there was this guy, I'll call him 'Bob' for anonymoty. He was beardy as hell and he also had a habit of making 'mistakes' in his favour, things like moving models that extra half inch, misreading rules, things like that, things that make you wonder if he's trying to cheat or is genuinely making a mistake. The reason he got away with so much was that were hints in his behaviour that he might be a bit, excuse the term, retarded. Not a lot, but a little.

So anyway, one week on specialist games night, one of the regulars who attended core game nights turned up to play instead. Now this guy was a straight up, no nonsense guy, and when he agreed to play Bob I (and most of the other people there) just knew something was going down. I was playing on the table next to them and I kept half an eye on their game. Some choice quotes from the game are:
"That's more than 4" Bob."
"You now Bob, some people might call that cheating."
"Let's look that rule up in the book Bob."
"That dice there is actually a 2 not a 3 Bob."
"Now that's definately cheating Bob."

It was actually a close game, but by the end of it Bob was almost reduced to tears.
 

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Ender of Threads
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1,306 Posts
One of my saddest games ever has to be a quick match I threw together at the local GW. This one kid was there with a box full of what Guard he had ready to fight, something like 400 points. He had made a few appearances at the GW mega battles on the weekends, and he's a good kid - plus he's quite the painter, those were some pretty well done Guardsmen.

Anyway, I was there with my usual 1500 and 2000 lists, so I had to hammer out a quick list in a hurry. In the name of fairness, I left out most of my heavy gear and armour since he really couldn't have handled them. Honestly, even a squad of assault marines would have likely crushed his forces like a pop can. So I wound up with basically 2 Tactical squads, a Veteran Sergeant, and a few upgrades here and there. IIRC, I actually left something like 20 or 30 points unspent.

What followed was, to be blunt, an outright massacre. Picture it as if it were a scene from a 40K novel - that's what it was like. Bolters chewing up Guardsmen left and right, Lasblasts pattering like rain from hardened Ceramite. Even his special weapons were either missing me or getting shrugged off by my armour. I eventually moved one squad up to assault his command squad, just to let his Power weapon try to even things out a bit, but to no avail. Don't get me wrong, I'm not just beating up the newbie here... Myself and several other regulars were doing the whole teaching by example thing, and he was definitely learning lessons by the end, but this one was simply preordained - no survivors for him, and about half a squad lost for me, mostly due to his commander's power sword.
 

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Official Lol Cannon
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970 Posts
When i shot 2 basilisks and splattered 2 whole squads of fire warriors in turn one. Game was downhill from there.
 

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White scars with 9 landspeeders. crazy amounts of heavy bolter and assualt cannon shots.
the other guy had 1 tactical squad and 1 scout squad. dead turn 1. turn 2 the rest of his army(all termies) teleport in. right infront of all those guns.
IIRC 1 thunder hammer guy made it to CC. only to be chopped up before he could swing the thing
 

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Senior Member
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351 Posts
A few weeks ago a friend of mine at GW wanted to play a thousand sons team vs a khorne team. Basically Ahriman vs Kharn and 2 units of troops with them. He blasted my berzerkers in one unit and kept casting on Kharn. I kept telling him it doesn't work, but he did it anyways, in the end the berzerkers touched his sons and it was the end.

Another game, which was horrible for the looser, was a 1500pt game of Tau vs Tau. Now one tau player was a seasoned vateran and the other had never played a game, ever. The newbie won first turn, used their infiltrated stealth team to move in and blow up his hammerhead in one shot. Then they used their 2 units of fire warriors to pin the vets 2 units of kroot. The vet had a mech army and was using them to deepstrike so all he had out was his 2 kroot and his hammerhead, so no round one for him. Round after round, and the vet didn't get any of his deepstrike units out and round six came along and the vet rolled between 5-7 1s for deepstriking. It was pretty funny to watch. The vet was so pissed. Go Newbie!
 

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Festo Diata
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917 Posts
In the final match of a local team tournament, my Orks were paired with a friend Lucas' Ork army, against the Imperial Guard Armoured Company, aided by Space Marines. My Boyz chose to face off with the Space Marines, while Lucas took his to the Armoured Company (with prayers).

My list was shooty-tailored, and had a grueling match with the Space Marines..

My partner..
After losing half of his humongous foot-slogging force to Ordnance fire, his Boyz swamp the Imperial vehicles and one after one, cause them to explode. He lost every single Ork he had to the explosions, killing some of mine in the process, grabbing defeat from almost certain victory.

Needless to say, I was very disappointed. :D
 

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Anemone's jelly jar
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176 Posts
Mine was my alpha legion (old codex) against Eldar
I think I killed 3 of his models, but my extreme shooty army did nothing, at all. For a full 3 turns I missed every shot, 4 missle launchers, autocannons, plasma guns, everything shot at a wraithlord & co, and nothing happened. To add insult a tankshocked squad ran away after failing LD 9 and re roll... That day my Chaos were wearing blindfolds for fun I think, and then using rubber swords in combat. My uber Chaos lord of doom was smacked down by guardians, but was able to kill 3 of them....
 

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Ancient Spacefarer
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1,715 Posts
Haven't had a pitiful game of 40K yet but I do have one for WHFB;


Archaon, The Lord of the End Times, had charged my 10-man skink skirmisher unit, miraculously my Slann was nearby with the BRB and they steadfastly (well, I think they froze with fear to be honest ;)) stood their ground.
The guy I played had such a fat grin on his face (one that I'd LOVE to wipe off in short order), grabbed a fistfull of dice to unleash the Slayer of Kings:

10 dice,
7 Hits,
3 1's,
Two failed Ward Saves.

I had 8 skinks in combat with the monster and only one can strike back. So, I have directed it at the weakened Archaon. I Hitted, I Wounded and he Failed his 1+ armour save!

though the rest of the skinks were ran down by the enraged Daemonic Steed, I sat there smirking more with surprise than anything, while my opponent's dropped like a stone.

It is at that point onwards, every person I played they always go for the skinks. I wonder why :rofl.

Well worth 60 points in my book :)


-Kai-Itza-
 

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I remember this one game I witnessed between an Ultramarines player and a Tyranids player. It was just like any other game until a single squad of genestealers got into close combat with one of the tactical squads. The marine player had put his tactical squads so close together, that whenever the stealers killed off a squad they ended up barreling into the next one. By the end, every single tactical squad had been killed by that one squad.
 

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Skeletor=Pimp.
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996 Posts
I think the worst match I've seen was a Fantasy tournament battle between Skaven and Dwarfs.

First turn the Skaven player messes up his Warp Lightning Cannon, and it turns to shoot conveniently down his Skaven line. After heavy casulties more than half the units run off the table, pretty much game :D

I've just seem some weird stuff, like Skaven slave rats taking down a Bloodthirster. And one time my Zombies beat a giant by sheer luck (It kept jumping and falling, I somehow managed to wound it).

-K
 

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Ender of Threads
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Another memorable one was a 1500 point tournament between my Raven Guard and a stunning Elysian army. 2 trenches at 20" or so apart, separated by no man's land, a bleak, cratered wasteland that counted as difficult terrain and a 6+ cover save. The objective was to get as many points to the central building as possible at the end of the game.

All the shooty units blasted away from the trenches, the more mobile forces slogged out and mixed it up in the muck, and my Predator and his Sentinels picked their way around, killing whatever was convenient.

Long story short, one of my Assault sergeants got into the Guard trenches with a pair of marines and proceeded to slaughter their way down the lines. Several exceptional heavy weapons salvoes tore up my own lines really badly, and the Predator and Sentinels wiped each other out. It all comes down to points at the objective, and the Guard have just pulled a brilliant move - the entire command section, a few other squads and some support squads deep struck directly onto the objective at the last moment!

When it comes time to count the points, he's pretty confident, having just placed 200+ points in exactly the right spot... It was incredibly funny watching the expression on his face as I told him that my lone squad on the objective was a 300+ point Assault squad, led by a 150+ point Librarian! A bit cruel, I know, but one of my favourite wins.
 

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Mine would have to be going to the local shop and playing one of the random people there. He ran Space Marines with doctirines, me running thousand sons all the aspiring champions with bolt of change. My aspiring sorcerors managed to one shot his chaplain, glanced his dreadnaught got an imobolized result made me re-roll it into a destroyed result. And my rubhric marines beat his assault marine in close combat like they were new recruits. All the while my daemon prince is running aorund slaightering his heavy weapons teams. by turn 6 I lost 4 thousand sons 2 termies and a predator he had nothing left.
 

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This game was just last weekend and I'm fairly new to Chaos so I'm hella scared of guns and cannons. The game was 1000 points of Skaven Vs. Tzneech Chaos. My army consisted of 1 Daemon Prince, 12 Warriors, 5 Chosen Knights, 2 spawns, and 10 furies. His forces were 2 blocks of 30 clanrats, 2 ratling guns, 2 Skaven Wizards (I dont know what they are called but they only know one spell ands its a god-aweful magic missle, you'll see why later) and 8 Skaven Warplock Jezzail. Now I got the first turn and this is how it went down. I marched my entire army up the board praying that I wouldnt get mowed down by bullets. After my movement was over my Furies were about 17 inches away from the Jezzails. I flew my Exalted Daemon right withing 6 inches of his block of thirty clanrats. I cast violet fire of tzeench (for those who dont know its a spell that goes off on a 12+, if the unit afflicted by it doesnt pass a ldrship test they disapear into the realms of choas, aka death) I rolled my three dice and whiffed it, not even close. After that it was his turn, he then demolished my Exalted Daemon with his 2 wizards, what a waste of 300+ points. He then shot his Jezzails at me, we both thought they were within the 15 inch range so we didnt bother measuring, then some random customer walks into the store we were playing at and says, "Hey whats the range on those? My oppenent says 15 inches and then measures, SCORE FOR ME! He was about 2 inches short, and this was right after he rolled to wound and he would have killed 7 of the 10 furies, phew! He then gets a little scared and says his turn is over. My turn once again and I charge his unit of Jezzails, being Daemons I cause fear, which made his whole unit run off the board! Muahahahaha. Then I charge my chosen knights into his clanrats. Then I charge my Warriors into his other block, I proceed with close combat and talk about 1/3 of each block of clanrats. Im now thinking I'm safe because I'm locked into close combat, but nooooooooooo skaven have no reguard for life at all and therefore get the rule "life is cheap" which allows them to ranged wepons and magic into their own units that are in close combat. At that point I thought I was screwed, luckily for me he misfired and both of his ratling guns blew up! Woohoo! At this point the only things left on the board are his 2 wizards which my Spawns eat for a tasty snack.
 
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