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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
(a continuation of my campaign series - our gaming took a break for a couple months - two babies and a move came along and sort of interrupted things for our group. We're back at it though!)

The raid "failed" because they bottled before they could retreat, but they destroyed their objective. In the post game, I rolled a six that lost me my best territory - my Settlement.

This is a two part - first a report of the "win" by the Quaos gang against the Ork gang, and then a blues song of lament by "Purty Boy" who was horribly scarred when he attacked "Da Messenger" Oleg. (really it's just the gang member who sucks at writing songs - I'm much better at it! Really!)

Breaking News! Settlement rejects Quaos Gang!

In a stunning surprise, Upper Erf, which has been the home base of the Quaos gang led by J "Boss" Topec, has rejected the gang and issued warnings that no Quaos gang member is allowed inside the settlement.

After months of quiet, the Ork gang held a daring Raid on Upper Erf, successfully destroying the main power core of the settlement base of the Quaos gang. J Boss Topec has loudly protested, reminding the settlers that shortly after the orks destroyed the core, they were driven off in a panic. His protestations have not swayed the settlement's leader.

The Mayor of Upper Erf, Jakey Potts had this to say:

"I was in the core itself doing maintenance to help maintain our fair town when the first shot was fired - a powerful plasma shot that slammed into the core's frame! I bravely risked my life to fix things, but merely a turn later an Ork wielding a Massive Club began attacking the core. Moments later, our fair city was deprived of our energy despite my heroic actions. We trusted the Quaos gang to protect our settlement, but they have proven themselves weak and untrustworthy. We shall have nothing more to do with them and I shall guide our settlement myself to a grander and brighter future."

Another witness to the attack, Flowry Nubils, added more details:

"I was in the power core too, um, like, helping the mayer and stuff. And like we were, you know, totally surprised to hear someone yell outside, and Jakey jumped up to look out the door. I was like, all scared and stuff, and went to a window. I saw an ugly looking green thing shoot a Plasma Pistol at the core and heard like a totally big explosion behind me. It was scary! I heard Jakey yelling, and then I heard some huge crashes behind me and all the lights went out. The orks were all cheering and making scary noises, but then all the Quaos gang started shooting them, and the orks started jogging, but pretty soon they just started screaming and running away. It was like the most exciting thing I've ever seen!"

For further details on the battle, we have talked with "Rock" Coatl of the Quaos gang.

"There was no warning, one moment, everything is peaceful with our sentries looking out, and the next there are orks jumping out right on top of us. I wasn't one of the guys on sentry duty, but a new Juve and I were just outside of town and came running. When we got there, an ork with a Plasma Pistol was smashing Mook down. Don't get me wrong, Mook's a great guy, he's got a sword and he's pretty good at Stepping Aside, but he still gets a bit excited at times. He must have charged the guy, and promptly gotten laid out flat.

"I opened up on the ork with my Heavy Stubber and wounded him, but he got back up, so I had to lay him out again. Purty Boy, of corse got messed up nasty right at the beginning. I still get chills just looking at his Horrible Scars. But, the guy who surprised me was "Guts". He's a new Juve and he charged Crumpin, who had just finished smashing up the power cell. He charged in with a Chain, and I was sure he was going to get smeared. Crumpin is the Toughest Ork I've ever seen, but after a couple rounds he managed to take him down!

Sure, we got surprised and lost the power cell, but we started taking them out right and left after that, and they Bottled before they could retreat. We're more than powerful enough to take on anyone, anywhere!"

In a rare and exceedingly dangerous investigation, we were able to communicate with an Ork from their settlement who called himself "Manslayer". Here's what he had to say:

"Big Boss is tuffest Boss around. Got big bang-bang! Lots of teef! Shoot hot gun and make building target go boomy! Crumpin' have big club and smashy! Smashy! Smashy! Raaagh!"

At this point, the Ork became very angry and tried to shoot our investigator, but the gun jammed.

"Rrrrrr, stupid gun. Always no shooty! Same in fight. No shooty. Compinsatin gun shooty! Ha! But always miss pink leader! He have to go hit peoples over head with gun! Compinsatin is dumb! Me can shooty! But gun dumb. Maybe take Compinsatin gun! We smash three umans quick quick! Boss is tough and kill little uman fast. Umans attack us, but we smash them! Oleg almost chop in half one when it attack him!"

When asked about why they ran away, Manslayer became angry and started chasing our man. From what it was yelling as it chased him, it is very angry that "umans" shooting and hurting so many Orks. It is assumed this is tied to the topic of their fleeing the fight.

Our investigator did escape by crawling into a small tunnel, but still lost two toes to the Ork's claws.

A song by "Purty Boy". The Orky Orky Blues.

I had a girl who loved me true.
I had a gun, she loved me too.

But now I'm down and all alone
You see my scar the Doc he failed.

Oh yes, I've got
The Orky Orky Blues
Oh yes I've got,
Those Orky Orky Blues

My face is raw and my arms are too,
My Scars are thick Inspire Fear.

My girl she yells, "Away from me!"
My foes shudder, but friends do too

Oh yes, I've got
The Orky Orky Blues
Oh yes I've got,
Those Orky Orky Blues

I charged an Ork who looked so dumb.
His axe too big, to move around.

Next thing I know, I'm lying there.
My face is gone and so's my chest.

Oh yes, I've got
The Orky Orky Blues
Oh yes I've got,
Those Orky Orky Blues

Our gang we won, made those orks run
We shot their ass Right out of town

But still I'm down and without a girl
Still got a gun and it loves me true

Oh yes, I've got
The Orky Orky, Orky Orky Blues
Oh yes I've got,
Those Orky Orky, Orky O-o-o-o-o-o-o-rky-y-y-y-y-y Blu-u-u-u-u-ues
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